Pre-1995 | Indiana University Sports

Adding 6-7, 260-pound football tight end Ross Hales to the basketball roster gives us something special to cheer for. He's certainly better than Pat Knight, one of our occasional fraudulent starters. I think he'll help. (January 1, 1994)

A Man After Bob Knight's Heart

Argentine soccer superstar Diego Maradona has been accused of opening fire with an air rifle on a group of reporters, and was arrested briefly after an episode at Maradona's suburban Buenos Aires home. Local television broadcast scenes of Maradona and several other men crouched behind a Mercedes with a rifle in hand aimed at the cameraman. At least four people were filmed shooting pellet guns at the reporters. Later, reporters were doused with a hose from inside the mansion's eight-foot walls. Maradona, 33, was said to be suffering from depression after he was released from a local team after repeatedly failing to show up for practice. We all know the feeling, don't we? (February 3, 1994)

Poor Ricky Byrdsong. Roaming the stands during the Northwestern-Minnesota game, shaking hands with fans, talking with the team mascot, laughing, joking, sitting on a chair at the end of the bench during the game and declining to coach. His leave of absence is for mysterious, unspecified reasons (it's obvious, though, that he's lost it). Rather than bizarre and mysterious, think of Ricky's behavior this way: he may be the first person to truly comprehend what coaching Northwestern University basketball is all about. If so, he's reacting as a normal person should. Would you want to be Byrdsong's boss? In this angry, litigious, contentious world we inhabit where, it is reliably estimated, seven out of every 10 people you meet on any street in America are either (a) aggrieved, (b) angry, (c) officially certified by a government agency as a victim of someone or something, or (d) have a bushel basketful of subpoenas and lawsuits they're itching, drooling to serve on the first passerby who draws their attention, you'd face a horrible dilemma. If you felt Ricky's loony and ought to have more recovery time, perhaps even therapy, and don't reinstate him you'd risk getting sued for depriving Ricky of his right to coach. If you brought him back to coach and something unpleasant ensued, then you'd be sued for heartless indifference to employee suffering, not to mention abuse, neglect, and Reaganoid-Bushite cruelty toward the disadvantaged. What to do, what to do?

Kid Gloves For One Of The Brothers

IU's radio "color man," Max Skirvin, interviewed Michigan athletic director Joe Roberson at halftime about, ahem, The Recent Unpleasantness involving four or five Michigan athletes (three of them basketball players) who were recorded on film stealing beer from an Ann Arbor convenience store. The basketball players were suspended for one game for "breaking team rules" (hey! it's encouraging that Coach Fisher has a rule against theft!), then reinstated without comment in time for the IU game. Roberson babbled like a Religious Left wacko bleeder about how "these young men have constitutional rights which must be protected. They're 20-year-olds who also must have protection from the university. A one-game suspension was plenty. It (the Michigan State game, the one the lads missed due to their suspension) was an important game, too." Roberson acknowledged that the civil law might be applied to the youngsters, even though they are University of Michigan basketball players. Give credit to Max--he was gentle and delicate as he could be with Roberson, never pushed him with hard questions; in fact, apologized for having to ask the questions at all. The brotherhood runs deep. (February 12, 1994)

The curious and interesting thing about Michigan's suspension of its three basketballers is this. The lads were suspended before the authorities had charged them with anything. Then, after they were officially charged Tuesday morning, they were reinstated to the basketball team by the University. Just coincidentally in time for Tuesday night's game against Indiana. Seems like school officials had it just exactly reversed. But then everyone meant well, so is it fair for us to quibble about technicalities and details? We may be confused and not have our facts straight, too. Best to move on, get on with our lives. As Slick is fond of saying, that's history, that's in the past. Post-script: The lads were convicted and with a little community service and successful probation will not have a criminal record out of this.

Chants of "Over-rated" came from UM fans in Crisler Arena late in the fray as IU's humiliation grew. Too bad they overlooked a beautiful chance to try some of their own, with cries of "Out on bond! Out on bond!" or somesuch. It would have been mean-spirited of them, and it's to their credit they didn't use such a chant.
Indiana University professors have voted overwhelmingly to draft a proposal giving fringe benefits to "non-married partners" (code for: homosexuals) of IU staff. The vote was 44-1 at a meeting of one of Coach Knight's favorite organizations, The Bloomington Faculty Council. (February 15, 1994)

Quite by accident, I happened to read a story in the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette's sports section Saturday about the Fort Wayne Fury, the local CBA franchise, unloading guard Craig Neal (to the Omaha Racers) and acquiring forward Sam Mack from the Yakima Sun Kings. The Fury got two high draft choices from Omaha for Neal, and GM Art Saltsberg said the Fury wanted to use its first-round pick to draft IU guard Damon Bailey, and Neal did not fit Coach Rick Barry's "game plan." One might wonder what Coach Barry's game plan is in light of this history on Sam Mack: He began his college career at Iowa State. In 1989 Mack and an ISU football player were charged with the armed robbery of a local Burger King. The footballer got 25 years in prison and Mack was acquitted after testifying he was coerced into participating in the stickup. Iowa State coach Johnny Orr suggested Mack transfer and Mack did, to Arizona State, coached by another ex-Big Ten mentor, Bill Frieder (both Orr and Frieder are former Michigan coaches). But in November, 1989 Mack was named in a sexual assault case filed by an ASU coed. The charges were dropped after local authorities decided they had insufficient evidence. But Frieder did suspend Mack from the basketball team. The following spring (March 1990) Mack made another mistake (not a malicious one), when he and another fella were arrested and charged with using a stolen credit card. Frieder dismissed Mack from the team. Mack then transferred to Tyler (Texas) Junior College. A year later Mack transferred to the University of Houston where he averaged 17.5 per game. Last year Mack played some for the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA. Saltsberg says he doesn't foresee any problem having Mack on the Fury roster. "I'm really not concerned," he said. "People do make mistakes. They have to be given a second chance." Great, but I'm afraid Art can't count. Mack has already gone well past two mistakes and had more than a second chance. Stay tuned. (February 27, 1994)

"I've got the ear muffs on. That doesn't bother me. . .when the old butt starts getting kicked around, that's when you've got to suck 'er up, get calloused, get the old elephant skin on and swing away." --Bill Mallory, Indiana University football coach, November 2, 1994, quoted in the Indianapolis Star discussing his reaction to fan booing at recent IU games.
Patrons at Denny's Restaurant on North Michigan Road in Indianapolis were treated to an unusual sight the morning of Saturday, November 5th. Seated in Denny's lobby was a 39-year-old Bogtrot, Indiana man, dressed in casual slacks and a turtle-neck sweater bearing the Indiana University logo. He was, however, wearing a pair of red ear muffs, and intently studying a color photo of the 1994-95 IU basketball team. He was seen to draw a circle around both of Sherron Wilkerson's lower legs, and hurriedly scribble notes in the margin. At precisely 8 a.m., a tall figure dressed in slacks and a corduroy sport jacket strode through the door, his otherwise unremarkable face adorned with a grey rubber elephant-nose mask which dangled about 8 inches below his own, reaching below the chin and presenting a surprisingly realistic first-glance impression. "You must be The Bogtrot Slasher," said the Elephant Nose Man, dipping his right shoulder and leaning in, hand extended jauntily in the classic college fraternity man pose. "I'm Peewilly Lockjaw, and I've got the old elephant skin on. . ." The Ear Muff Man had simultaneously risen, extended his hand and said, between choking bursts of laughter, "Yes. . .I'm the Slasher--and I've got the old ear muffs on! I'm callused, and I'm ready to suck 'er up and get in there and swing away!" And so the two creatures stood in mini-bedlam for long minutes there in front of the Denny's cash register, howling in laughter, slapping knees, choking, faces purple with amusement. The restaurant hostess moved a hand closer to the telephone, as though to be better prepared to dial 911. The two were shown to an out-of-the-way booth, where they commenced to spend two-and-a-half hours in in-depth interviews and IU sports analysis. Closer inspection of the Slasher's IU team photo revealed that Wilkerson's calf and shin on the right leg (the normal leg) were noticeably smaller than the same area on the left leg, the one he broke last spring in the NCAA tournament. The Elephant Nose Man was body-wired going in; thus the entire meeting was beamed to a Norad satellite positioned 114 miles overhead in deep space, then transmitted live to the Deerfly, Indianapolis, and Mudwench homes of The Gang of Six. Early word from the Denny's area indicated the Slasher had tested positive and left the area in his vomit-colored 1992 Honda Accord LX with a leg-up on a coveted opening in the brotherhood. Stay tuned. (November 5, 1994)

Treasure Me Dolls of Kendallville, Indiana, has gone over the edge. It's offering a Bob Knight Doll for sale. "Coach," the ad proclaims, stands 29 inches tall, has porcelain hands, feet, and head, with a cloth body that is "poseable." Only 1,000 of the dolls will be made and then the mold will be smashed, we're mercifully promised. Proud owners get a Certificate of Authenticity. It comes with Coach's famous red sweater (whether it has Coach's famous asshole isn't, however, revealed) and other "coach-type" garb, and little teeny Converse sneakers. Cost: $545 plus tax and shipping. Treasure Me is running a quarter-page ad in the Bloomington paper to hype the thing. The doll is grotesque; it's hard to imagine them selling one, let alone a thousand. But then no one's ever gone broke underestimating good taste in America, either. (December 4, 1994)

Indiana University President Thomas (The Dweeb in The Bowtie Who's Hiding Under His Desk Waiting For Bob Knight To Die) Ehrlich is scurrying around the state like a little chipmunk now, appearing on halftime "special reports" on IU basketball telecasts, bobbing up before the Indiana Legislature, writing propaganda columns for the local newspapers, in an effort to wheedle cash out of the taxpayers' pockets. It's budget time and he and the other state university honchos are sweating tiny bullets. Last summer IU trustees asked the state for a 32 percent state funding increase; now, however, IU officials have "admitted the request was unrealistic" according to a Feb. 17 Bloomington Herald-Times article. Ehrlich is predicting utter doom for the university, the state, the universe, if even a dollar is trimmed from IU's request. It's all thundering baloney. Waste and inefficiency are rampant in university settings, and college professors are some of the nation's most underworked citizens.classes. Why does Ehrlich believe the university should be immune to the economic trend in American society for the past few years? He ought to be pelted offstage with eggs, gourds, rotten fruit, and told to get a life, a realistic one. (February 18, 1993)

Bob Knight offered a piercing insight into the state of American Civilization during a Monday CBS Television broadcast profiling the IU coach. Asked by host Pat O'Brien if "kids were different today," Knight said, "No. Adults are different," and added, in what I suspect were restrained tones, that adults are more permissive and slack in their demands on youngsters in today's great big wonderful U.S. of A. The "adults are different" observation well sums it up for America. (February 28, 1993)

	Scoundrels, Knaves & Fools American Pile Whoops & Squawks Splinters From the Bench Indiana University Sports Lists & Other Minutiae Contact the author	2009 \| 2008 \| 2007 \| 2006 \| 2005 \| 2004 \| 2003 \| 2002 \| 2001 \| 2000 \| 1999 \| 1998 \| 1997 \| 1996 \| 1995 \| Pre-1995 Indiana University Sports Adding 6-7, 260-pound football tight end Ross Hales to the basketball roster gives us something special to cheer for. He's certainly better than Pat Knight, one of our occasional fraudulent starters. I think he'll help. (January 1, 1994) A Man After Bob Knight's Heart Argentine soccer superstar Diego Maradona has been accused of opening fire with an air rifle on a group of reporters, and was arrested briefly after an episode at Maradona's suburban Buenos Aires home. Local television broadcast scenes of Maradona and several other men crouched behind a Mercedes with a rifle in hand aimed at the cameraman. At least four people were filmed shooting pellet guns at the reporters. Later, reporters were doused with a hose from inside the mansion's eight-foot walls. Maradona, 33, was said to be suffering from depression after he was released from a local team after repeatedly failing to show up for practice. We all know the feeling, don't we? (February 3, 1994) Poor Ricky Byrdsong. Roaming the stands during the Northwestern-Minnesota game, shaking hands with fans, talking with the team mascot, laughing, joking, sitting on a chair at the end of the bench during the game and declining to coach. His leave of absence is for mysterious, unspecified reasons (it's obvious, though, that he's lost it). Rather than bizarre and mysterious, think of Ricky's behavior this way: he may be the first person to truly comprehend what coaching Northwestern University basketball is all about. If so, he's reacting as a normal person should. Would you want to be Byrdsong's boss? In this angry, litigious, contentious world we inhabit where, it is reliably estimated, seven out of every 10 people you meet on any street in America are either (a) aggrieved, (b) angry, (c) officially certified by a government agency as a victim of someone or something, or (d) have a bushel basketful of subpoenas and lawsuits they're itching, drooling to serve on the first passerby who draws their attention, you'd face a horrible dilemma. If you felt Ricky's loony and ought to have more recovery time, perhaps even therapy, and don't reinstate him you'd risk getting sued for depriving Ricky of his right to coach. If you brought him back to coach and something unpleasant ensued, then you'd be sued for heartless indifference to employee suffering, not to mention abuse, neglect, and Reaganoid-Bushite cruelty toward the disadvantaged. What to do, what to do? Kid Gloves For One Of The Brothers IU's radio "color man," Max Skirvin, interviewed Michigan athletic director Joe Roberson at halftime about, ahem, The Recent Unpleasantness involving four or five Michigan athletes (three of them basketball players) who were recorded on film stealing beer from an Ann Arbor convenience store. The basketball players were suspended for one game for "breaking team rules" (hey! it's encouraging that Coach Fisher has a rule against theft!), then reinstated without comment in time for the IU game. Roberson babbled like a Religious Left wacko bleeder about how "these young men have constitutional rights which must be protected. They're 20-year-olds who also must have protection from the university. A one-game suspension was plenty. It (the Michigan State game, the one the lads missed due to their suspension) was an important game, too." Roberson acknowledged that the civil law might be applied to the youngsters, even though they are University of Michigan basketball players. Give credit to Max--he was gentle and delicate as he could be with Roberson, never pushed him with hard questions; in fact, apologized for having to ask the questions at all. The brotherhood runs deep. (February 12, 1994) The curious and interesting thing about Michigan's suspension of its three basketballers is this. The lads were suspended before the authorities had charged them with anything. Then, after they were officially charged Tuesday morning, they were reinstated to the basketball team by the University. Just coincidentally in time for Tuesday night's game against Indiana. Seems like school officials had it just exactly reversed. But then everyone meant well, so is it fair for us to quibble about technicalities and details? We may be confused and not have our facts straight, too. Best to move on, get on with our lives. As Slick is fond of saying, that's history, that's in the past. Post-script: The lads were convicted and with a little community service and successful probation will not have a criminal record out of this. Chants of "Over-rated" came from UM fans in Crisler Arena late in the fray as IU's humiliation grew. Too bad they overlooked a beautiful chance to try some of their own, with cries of "Out on bond! Out on bond!" or somesuch. It would have been mean-spirited of them, and it's to their credit they didn't use such a chant. Indiana University professors have voted overwhelmingly to draft a proposal giving fringe benefits to "non-married partners" (code for: homosexuals) of IU staff. The vote was 44-1 at a meeting of one of Coach Knight's favorite organizations, The Bloomington Faculty Council. (February 15, 1994) Quite by accident, I happened to read a story in the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette's sports section Saturday about the Fort Wayne Fury, the local CBA franchise, unloading guard Craig Neal (to the Omaha Racers) and acquiring forward Sam Mack from the Yakima Sun Kings. The Fury got two high draft choices from Omaha for Neal, and GM Art Saltsberg said the Fury wanted to use its first-round pick to draft IU guard Damon Bailey, and Neal did not fit Coach Rick Barry's "game plan." One might wonder what Coach Barry's game plan is in light of this history on Sam Mack: He began his college career at Iowa State. In 1989 Mack and an ISU football player were charged with the armed robbery of a local Burger King. The footballer got 25 years in prison and Mack was acquitted after testifying he was coerced into participating in the stickup. Iowa State coach Johnny Orr suggested Mack transfer and Mack did, to Arizona State, coached by another ex-Big Ten mentor, Bill Frieder (both Orr and Frieder are former Michigan coaches). But in November, 1989 Mack was named in a sexual assault case filed by an ASU coed. The charges were dropped after local authorities decided they had insufficient evidence. But Frieder did suspend Mack from the basketball team. The following spring (March 1990) Mack made another mistake (not a malicious one), when he and another fella were arrested and charged with using a stolen credit card. Frieder dismissed Mack from the team. Mack then transferred to Tyler (Texas) Junior College. A year later Mack transferred to the University of Houston where he averaged 17.5 per game. Last year Mack played some for the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA. Saltsberg says he doesn't foresee any problem having Mack on the Fury roster. "I'm really not concerned," he said. "People do make mistakes. They have to be given a second chance." Great, but I'm afraid Art can't count. Mack has already gone well past two mistakes and had more than a second chance. Stay tuned. (February 27, 1994) "I've got the ear muffs on. That doesn't bother me. . .when the old butt starts getting kicked around, that's when you've got to suck 'er up, get calloused, get the old elephant skin on and swing away." --Bill Mallory, Indiana University football coach, November 2, 1994, quoted in the Indianapolis Star discussing his reaction to fan booing at recent IU games. Patrons at Denny's Restaurant on North Michigan Road in Indianapolis were treated to an unusual sight the morning of Saturday, November 5th. Seated in Denny's lobby was a 39-year-old Bogtrot, Indiana man, dressed in casual slacks and a turtle-neck sweater bearing the Indiana University logo. He was, however, wearing a pair of red ear muffs, and intently studying a color photo of the 1994-95 IU basketball team. He was seen to draw a circle around both of Sherron Wilkerson's lower legs, and hurriedly scribble notes in the margin. At precisely 8 a.m., a tall figure dressed in slacks and a corduroy sport jacket strode through the door, his otherwise unremarkable face adorned with a grey rubber elephant-nose mask which dangled about 8 inches below his own, reaching below the chin and presenting a surprisingly realistic first-glance impression. "You must be The Bogtrot Slasher," said the Elephant Nose Man, dipping his right shoulder and leaning in, hand extended jauntily in the classic college fraternity man pose. "I'm Peewilly Lockjaw, and I've got the old elephant skin on. . ." The Ear Muff Man had simultaneously risen, extended his hand and said, between choking bursts of laughter, "Yes. . .I'm the Slasher--and I've got the old ear muffs on! I'm callused, and I'm ready to suck 'er up and get in there and swing away!" And so the two creatures stood in mini-bedlam for long minutes there in front of the Denny's cash register, howling in laughter, slapping knees, choking, faces purple with amusement. The restaurant hostess moved a hand closer to the telephone, as though to be better prepared to dial 911. The two were shown to an out-of-the-way booth, where they commenced to spend two-and-a-half hours in in-depth interviews and IU sports analysis. Closer inspection of the Slasher's IU team photo revealed that Wilkerson's calf and shin on the right leg (the normal leg) were noticeably smaller than the same area on the left leg, the one he broke last spring in the NCAA tournament. The Elephant Nose Man was body-wired going in; thus the entire meeting was beamed to a Norad satellite positioned 114 miles overhead in deep space, then transmitted live to the Deerfly, Indianapolis, and Mudwench homes of The Gang of Six. Early word from the Denny's area indicated the Slasher had tested positive and left the area in his vomit-colored 1992 Honda Accord LX with a leg-up on a coveted opening in the brotherhood. Stay tuned. (November 5, 1994) Treasure Me Dolls of Kendallville, Indiana, has gone over the edge. It's offering a Bob Knight Doll for sale. "Coach," the ad proclaims, stands 29 inches tall, has porcelain hands, feet, and head, with a cloth body that is "poseable." Only 1,000 of the dolls will be made and then the mold will be smashed, we're mercifully promised. Proud owners get a Certificate of Authenticity. It comes with Coach's famous red sweater (whether it has Coach's famous asshole isn't, however, revealed) and other "coach-type" garb, and little teeny Converse sneakers. Cost: $545 plus tax and shipping. Treasure Me is running a quarter-page ad in the Bloomington paper to hype the thing. The doll is grotesque; it's hard to imagine them selling one, let alone a thousand. But then no one's ever gone broke underestimating good taste in America, either. (December 4, 1994) Indiana University President Thomas (The Dweeb in The Bowtie Who's Hiding Under His Desk Waiting For Bob Knight To Die) Ehrlich is scurrying around the state like a little chipmunk now, appearing on halftime "special reports" on IU basketball telecasts, bobbing up before the Indiana Legislature, writing propaganda columns for the local newspapers, in an effort to wheedle cash out of the taxpayers' pockets. It's budget time and he and the other state university honchos are sweating tiny bullets. Last summer IU trustees asked the state for a 32 percent state funding increase; now, however, IU officials have "admitted the request was unrealistic" according to a Feb. 17 Bloomington Herald-Times article. Ehrlich is predicting utter doom for the university, the state, the universe, if even a dollar is trimmed from IU's request. It's all thundering baloney. Waste and inefficiency are rampant in university settings, and college professors are some of the nation's most underworked citizens.classes. Why does Ehrlich believe the university should be immune to the economic trend in American society for the past few years? He ought to be pelted offstage with eggs, gourds, rotten fruit, and told to get a life, a realistic one. (February 18, 1993) Bob Knight offered a piercing insight into the state of American Civilization during a Monday CBS Television broadcast profiling the IU coach. Asked by host Pat O'Brien if "kids were different today," Knight said, "No. Adults are different," and added, in what I suspect were restrained tones, that adults are more permissive and slack in their demands on youngsters in today's great big wonderful U.S. of A. The "adults are different" observation well sums it up for America. (February 28, 1993) Back to top
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