2003 | Indiana University Sports

Coach Sends One of His Two Begotten Sons. . .

Just so we know Coach is still Coach, this morning's Indianapolis Star reported that Coach declined to attend the big press conference following Texas Tech's big New Year's Day win over instate rival, Houston. Coach sent His Son, Pat, instead. A TT sports information lackey later told eager reporters that Coach wanted his Son to get experience doing news conferences, and that was why He, Coach, wasn't there. (January 2, 2003)

The Star this morning (January 10, 2003), roughly two weeks after the fact, carried a sports brief which seems to have slipped under most radar. It is unjustly alleged that on December 28 Iowa basketball coach Steve Alford "shoved Hawkeye guard Brody Boyd as they left the floor at halftime" of the Iowa-Tulsa game. Alford was said to have been upset because Boyd did not catch a breakout pass that Tulsa intercepted and turned into a layup. An ESPN commentator was heard by millions and millions and millions in the audience to say, "I wonder where he (Alford) learned that from?" This was taken by some to be a reference to Alford's playing and tutelage at Indiana for the legendarily tempestuous Bob Knight, who on more than one occasion was known--and once was even videotaped doing it-- to have physically engaged his players. Steve is said to have taken offense at the insinuation. He later told a Des Moines Register reporter, "I've learned a lot of lessons in the last five months about the creativity of the media." He, Alford, added that he felt that this (media unfairness against him, presumably) is "always going to be there because of the relationship that (Knight) and I have and the things we did together at Indiana." The Star's account was painfully brief, but it was only last summer that Alford made a much-publicized Healing Trip to Lubbock, Texas, where Coach now lives and works, for advice and counsel, and to reconcile after a period of estrangement from Coach. Alford's comments to the Register hint at the same kind of paranoia and blame-the-media surliness so pronounced in his mentor. One wonders if Steve is slowly emerging as a Chip Off The Old Coach. (January 10, 2003)

Lou Lands An Expert On Life Without Consequences

Lou Dobbs, genial host of CNN's Moneyline, of all people, had a recent segment about the alleged Decline in Sportsmanship in America. And he brought aboard, of all people, Bob Knight, as a guest expert on the subject. Dobbs stated the premise, then turned gravely to Coach and asked what Coach's take was on this. The problem, Coach intoned, is that "with athletes, actions have no consequences." Dobbs flicked nary an eyelash at this remark, coming as it did from a man whose nearly entire adult life--certainly all but one day of some 29 years of it as Indiana University basketball Coach, anyway--has been lived without consequences. (January 17, 2003)

Time alone will tell if Todd Leary will lose his job for uttering on January 24 what many of us would consider the truth during a radio broadcast of the Indiana-Purdue basketball game from Mackey Arena. The Boilers thrashed Indiana and after the game Don Fischer, IU's long-time broadcaster, noted that Purdue Coach Gene Keady had finished a post-game interview and gone over to kiss his wife. Leary, serving this year as the "color commentator," blurted out that "It takes a real man to do that." There was hell to pay. Within a couple of days it was announced that Leary had sent a written apology to Keady, and was publicly apologizing to Purdue University and its fans, indeed to all decent human beings anywhere who might have been offended. And Leary made another apology three days later during the pre-game radio broadcast of the Indiana-Michigan State game. Anyone who has ever actually seen Keady's wife knows what Leary meant by the comment. Truth, though, is no defense in these settings. Leary has sinned, and he may not be done paying for it. (January 29, 2003)

Another Shriveler For IU

Indiana University basketball recruit Patrick Ewing Jr. was described as standing 6 feet 8 inches tall in the Star's announcement story March 7. On the same day, but presumably some hours later, a story by writer Mike Sullivan was filed on an Internet sports site, RivalsHoops.com, said Ewing was a 6-7. (March 7, 2003)

Fundy, Fundy. . .

Lawrence Funderburke, who spent one brief, shining partial semester on the IU basketball team long ago and far away, is still hanging around in the pros. A brief note in the March 14 Indianapolis Star reported that Funderburke, a reserve averaging 3.1 points on the Sacramento Kings, "was not with the team" for a game against the Phoenix Suns, and had "stayed home because of personal reasons." This is code, of course, and it can't be for anything good, given Fundy's history. (March 14, 2003)

Don Fischer, apparently needing to douse the reality of Pittsburgh's 74-52 trashing of Indiana in the NCAA tournament, turned in the post-game broadcast to what he said was the wonderful potential of next year's IU team. His sidekick agreed, and listeners could be forgiven for wondering what university the two were referencing, since the fan consensus now seems to be that next season likely will be brutally bad. Fischer conceded that this year's team, which finished with a 21-13 record and in 6th place in the Big Ten, had certain problems during the season, and took a stab at describing them. This is close to an exact reconstruction of what Don said. "(there were) times during the year when IU played--well, I don't want to say selfishly--but they played for themselves." Don is apparently so concerned with political correctness and hurting feelings that he believes "selfishly" and "playing for themselves" are different concepts. (March 23, 2003)

Fans Less Bashful Than Don

Fans joining in post-season analysis weren't so bashful. Mark Patrick, host of an Indianapolis sports talk show, said the majority of his e-mailers and callers the next day named freshman guard Bracey Wright as the target of "selfishness" hints and claims made by upset teammates following the Pittsburgh defeat.

Wouldn't you know it? Now that Coach is gone from Indiana University, another thing He forbade is going to be allowed. The March 17-22 issue of Indianapolis Business Journal reported that IU officials have signed a three-year deal worth $3.9 million to allow advertising inside Assembly Hall. School officials stress that the ads will appear initially in the foyer and concourse areas, not in the playing area. "Initially" is the operative word for those of us trying to break the code. Give ‘em time, they'll get in there, courtside, to defile another of Coach's legacies. (March 25, 2003)

This is complicated, so help me out. Coach, who denies He has an anger management problem, has a cameo role in a new film just out starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. The film is called Anger Management. If Coach was paid to do this, then He has a hypocrisy management problem. This is the one that enables Him to schmooze on talk shows and with the press He has ridiculed for decades when it comes time to get publicity for His latest book, the one He wrote even though He never tires of instructing us that most people learn how to write in the second grade and move on to other, better things with their lives. (March 28, 2003)

There's not been a single confirmed sighting of the elusive Norm Covenant House) Ellenberger, formerly an IU assistant basketball coach under Bob Knight, since his April 18, 2002, resignation from an assistant's job with the NBA's Chicago Bulls. (April 18, 2003)

Coach's Deposition Big News In Kool-Aid Land--Pat Gets In A Few Licks, Too

Coach and His oldest begotten son, Pat, had to give depositions last summer in a lawsuit filed against Coach by a former assistant, Ron Felling. The suit was settled last fall with Coach paying Felling $25,000 to drop it. Everyone hoped that would be the end of it. But WTHR-TV in Indianapolis filed a request under the Freedom of Information Act to get copies of the videotaped depositions. The court ruled in TV-13's favor, and starting on April 24--Day One of Sweeps Week, by incredible coincidence--the station began airing nightly snippets. It was Classic Coach: sullen, sneering, snotty, insolent, bullying, ill-tempered, self-serving. Pat was every bit as ugly and inarticulate, cursing and sneering, and boasting that he wished he'd had a chance to beat the crap out of Felling. It was wonderful to see Coach and His boy bristling in the dock, under oath. The Star ran stories and posted transcripts on its website. Timely reminders of how lucky we are that these festering sociopaths are gone from the Indiana scene. (April 25, 2003)

His nickname was either "Bouncing" or "Bounding." He was an Elkhart High School all-stater in 1954, set the school's single season scoring record of 528 points. Played on Indiana University's 1958 Big Ten basketball champions, voted into the Indiana Basketball Hall of Fame in 1979, coached and taught at Shawswick and in the Indianapolis public schools. Died May 19 at age 68. Say adios to Ray Ball. (May 19, 2003)

Road Warrior

Gerry DiNardo has kept his promise. The Star this morning reported that Jerry has fulfilled his vow to visit every high school in Indiana to try to restore the good relationships Indiana University squandered during The Camster's disastrous turn as head football coach. It took DiNardo two springs: 45 days of travel, 311 schools visited, 13,000 miles driven. Without better players, all this will get him is an 0-12 season, But you've got to start somewhere. I like this guy. (June 3, 2003)

Jackin' 'Em Up

IU football ticket prices are increasing from $32 to $35 starting this fall, except for a couple of "premium" games, Ohio State and Purdue, where a ticket will run $40 and billions and billions and billions of Purdue and Buckeye fans may be stupid enough to drive down and pay it. Terry (We Looked Far And Wide All Over This Mother-Lovin' Planet For An Athletic Director Only To Find That The Absolute Best Man For The Job Was Right Here Among Us Schmoozin' On The Veranda All The Time) Clapacs, Indiana's new athletic director, was quoted in the Star this morning telling us how "very competitive" IU's prices are (but not telling us how non-competitive the team is), how it was (and remains) an "economic situation" and what great progress the athletic department is making in getting its finances back into the black. Terry obviously believes what the rest of them have believed for some time: namely, that when you produce and want to sell a non-competitive product, a hideously, appallingly crappy product, in fact, the way to get more people to buy it is to raise the price of it, and if they still don't want to buy, raise the price some more and some more until they do. And so the challenge remains: what is Terry going to do about the 20,000 empty seats that will greet him, on average, for every home game, no matter how high he raises ticket prices? (June 10, 2003)

The true market value of an IU football game ticket remains about the price of a movie ticket, between $6-$8. Smart buyers will find all the tickets they want for sale by desperate-to-dump-'em vendors in the parking lot on game day, at roughly 50 percent discounts.

Indiana University lawyers have asked a local Monroe County judge to dismiss Coach's lawsuit seeking billions and billions and billions in damages for what Coach deems a breach of his contract when IU fired him in September, 2000. Coach and his attorney were unreachable for comment, according to the Associated Press. (June 12, 2003)

Grand Experiment Fails

The Indiana University athletic department announced today it is switching back to artificial turf in its football stadium effective this fall. It will cost $466,000 and an anonymous alumni donor has been rounded up to pay the entire cost, it was reported. Five years ago then coach Cam Cameron convinced his bosses to change to natural grass. According to the Indianapolis Star this morning, this never worked out and there were "repeated problems with the grass taking hold." So, not only do we have a crappy football program, we can't even grow grass. (June 25, 2003)

A breathless late-night phone call July 2 from a trusted source deep, deep within the bowels of the Indiana University athletic department informed me that basketball coach Mike Davis was planning to offer a high school coach in Tuscaloosa, Alabama an assistant's position in Bloomington and the assistant-to-be was--surprise!--the coach of D. J. White, a 6-9, 240-pound Tuscaloosa star who is said now to be Indiana's No. 1 recruiting target to fill out its Fall, 2004 class. A mere coincidence that the lad's coach happens to be the most qualified candidate in the entire nation for the opening, but you heard it here first, the raspy voice said. Click. Silence. (July 2, 2003)

Thomas Departing

A couple of days later, the Indianapolis Star sports section carried a brief note that assistant basketball coach Jim Thomas is leaving the staff. The story was typically obtuse. Thomas could not be reached for comment. Coach Mike Davis issued one of those arched, awkward statements about the key contributions Thomas had made and how everyone joined in wishing him (Thomas) the very best of luck. The only thing missing was the usual baloney about "moving on for the challenge" to "pursue other career oppportunities." No word about a replacement. (July 4, 2003)

Heavy Breathin' at Nike. . .

At precisely 7 p.m. on July 7 the phone rang. It was an informant, this time deep within the bowels of the Nike basketball camp currently underway in Indianapolis. "It's big," a raspy voice whispered over the roaring background din of the camp, "but you can book it--Indiana just got a commitment from D.J. White. The word was out half an hour ago. (Coach Mike) Davis is putting together a class that'll rival Michigan's Fab Five. If they get Josh Smith out of Georgia, you can book a Final Four ticket for Indiana." Fab Five sounds great, I shouted, so long as there was fewer indictments than Michigan had. "You heard it here, first," the voice said. Click. Silence. (July 7, 2003)

Every once in a while a reader gets it just right. Brad Cooper of Franklin, Indiana, nailed it with a letter to the editor in the July 6 Sunday Indianapolis Star which is worth a prize. Coops charged that IU hired Myles Brand, then replaced him with a "guy Florida went to extreme measures to eliminate, fired the best basketball coach of his generation, hired the joke that is Mike Davis, gave Cam Cameron a five-year extension and then fired him with pay, hired a new athletic director and then ‘resigned' him with pay, spent hundreds of thousands of dollars not to change the school logo, and agreed to pay millions for the retirement of the same president (Brand) who made these bad decisions and then left." Cooper wrapped up his fusillade by ripping this world-class university which can't even grow grass on its football field, noting that the school claimed that "real grass costs $150,000 to reseed and even more to maintain,." but alleging that "enough grass seed to cover 10 football fields costs under $100 at Wal-Mart and Chem-Lawn will do it for $500 a shot." Not a whole lot that can be rebutted here. A Vicar of Vitriol, indeed!

Anybody Here Got A Tape Measure?

Mike Davis and Indiana basketball were the buzz of the Nike Camp in Indianapolis the first week of July. D. J. White of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, announced on the camp's first full day that he was IU's in the fall of 2004. He is a consensus Top 10 player nationally. The Star‘s account July 8 said D.J. was 6-7 and 233 pounds. When word first leaked locally in late June that White was "leaning" toward Indiana, the story said he stood 6-9 and weighed 240. Then a story in the Star July 10 said White was 6-8 and 235 pounds. I repeat: there is no greater need in this great nation than for federal legislation establishing a National Board of Weights and Measures for everyone participating in athletics at any level. (July 10, 2003)

And two days after D.J. signed on for IU, so did Josh Smith. Josh is said to stand 6-9 and weigh 215. He is also a Top 10-ranked player nationally, and is from McEacham (Georgia) Powder Springs High School. He will play his senior year at Oak Hill Academy in Virginia, and come to IU in the Fall of 2004. White and Smith will be joined by two previously announced IU recruits--Robert (Darth) Vaden of Indianapolis Pike High School, and James Hardy of Fort Wayne Elmhurst (July 10, 2003)

No matter how much the other Indiana basketball recruits shrink, they'll probably not be eyeball-to-eyeball with 5-9 Errek Suhr (son of the legendary Buck, a former IU assistant football coach and radio broadcaster), who is scheduled to be a walk-on in the Fall of 2003 for Mike Davis's team. Given history, once Errek arrives on campus, is thrown to the ground, hog-tied, and actually measured, he'll be 5-3 or so. That could be a modern-day record for IU starters.

Gerry DiNardo was asked at the Big Ten football media day in Chicago about star linebacker John Kerr quitting the Indiana team and transferring to Ohio State. "I know he doesn't like me," DiNardo said. "After he told me that, I didn't listen to the other reasons." Good job, Gerry. A straight, honest answer. Refreshing candor. (July 23, 2003)

Beautiful Irony

Baylor Coach Dave Bliss, a disciple and protégé of Bob Knight (Bliss was an assistant coach for Knight at Indiana University), has lost his job at Baylor and may face criminal charges (obstruction of justice) if prosecutors are feelin' bitchy. Bliss, who resigned recently, before the report cards could come out on an NCAA investigation of the school's basketball program, has been audio-taped telling assistant coaches and a few team members to lie when NCAA investigators questioned them. One of Baylor's starters was murdered earlier this summer and dark clouds hang everywhere for the university. Two great ironies remain in all this: I can't recall seeing a single mention in press coverage of the fact that Bliss is a Knight protégé, or of the utterly weird coincidence that the beginning of the end for Knight at Indiana University came in the spring of 2000 when an assistant coach, Ron Felling, smuggled an incriminating videotape of Knight to the press, where it was shown on national televsision, and now Bliss, a Knight acolyte, has been nailed to the wall by an assistant coach who secretly taped Bliss and gave the tape to the NCAA snoops. (August 17, 2003)

Four For One Would Be More Like It

The August 31 Sunday Indianapolis Star sports section carried a coupon offering a "Buy One, Get One Free" football ticket deal for Indiana University's home opener Sept. 13 against Indiana State. This at least drags down the price of a ticket to the high teens-- still two to three times the $6-$8 it's worth, but a step in the right direction. The best thing about this is that with the university itself seemingly more desperate to sell tickets, the vendors selling them in the parking lot will have to cut prices to sell theirs. Maybe free market capitalism has finally penetrated even the bunkers at Indiana. (August 31, 2003)

The Star noted in pre-season commentary that Indiana's football team had given up 40 points or more in a game 29 times ( 35%) in 89 games over the past eight seasons. For comparison, it noted that Ohio State had given up 40 points to an opponent once since 1980, and won that game, 49-42, over Illinois.

. . .And Then He Was Run Over By An Onrushing Train of Thought

IU football broadcaster Danny Thompson, describing a dropped pass by an Indiana receiver in the season opener at Connecticut, said that the pass was perfectly thrown but a defender actually got his hand up in the ball's vicinity, causing IU's receiver to "lose his train of vision." I say bring back Buck Suhr, who at least occasionally blurted out something brutally honest. (September 1, 2003)

A moment of grateful, prayerful silence, please. Today is the third anniversary of Coach's firing at Indiana University. All hail! All hail Myles Brand! (September 10, 2003)

Word seeps north that Iowa basketball coach Steve Alford was among those in Lubbock the weekend of September 13-14 for a reunion of Bob Knight's former players.

Meantime, in Bloomington, Indiana, the same weekend, former players under ex-Indiana football Coach Bill Mallory convened for a golf outing, dinner, and other festivities. Attendees were given a baseball cap emblazoned with the words "Mallory"s Men" on top, and on the side, one of Peewilly's legendary sayings, "Lock Your Jaw." (September 15, 2003)

Indiana University offered a Buy One, Get One Free ticket deal for fans interested in attending the IU-Indiana State game September 14. Official attendance was reported at 31,112 (Indiana won, 33-3), about the norm in recent years in Memorial Stadium. At 2-for-1, tickets are still way overpriced. Four-for-one would get it about right, the price of a movie ticket. Thousands of potential ticket-buyers have rendered their decision--the price for an IU football game is steeply over-valued. When will IU officials understand the basic economics involved? (September 15, 2003)

What Part of The Phrase ‘Did Not' Will Coach Not Understand?

Monroe County Circuit Judge Kenneth Todd has thrown out of court Bob Knight's lawsuit against his former employer, Indiana University. Todd ruled October 6 that in firing Knight in September of 2000 the university did not violate Coach's sacred human rights, did not withhold any money due Knight, did not defame Knight, did not deny Coach his due process rights, did not deny Coach his rightful legacy at IU, and did not breach any aspect of Coach's contract. (October 7, 2003)

Judge Todd, in tossing out Coach's suit against IU, did confess to puzzlement about one aspect of Coach's contract. Apparently it contained not the usual one, but two clauses addressing conditions under which the university could fire Coach. First there was the standard "at will" clause which allowed a firing as long as Coach was paid remaining amounts due under his contract. A second clause, however, allowed the university to fire Knight "for cause." Judge Todd said that was confusing, when the "at will" portion gave the school all the legal cover it needed to fire Knight. It turns out the "for cause" clause was specifically negotiated by Knight into his contract. The Indianapolis Star's account quoted IU trustee Pete Obremsky saying that "this clause was Knight's protection against an athletic director firing him on the spot." It was widely known over the latter years of Knight's tenure at Indiana that He and then athletic director Clarence Doninger had become "estranged," to put a polite face on it. Knight's contract also stipulated that Knight reported only to the University president as his boss, not to the athletic director. Obremsky, commenting on the inclusion of the "for cause clause" said--with or without irony we'll probably never know--that, "Frankly, he (Coach) thought he could deal with the president." As it turned out, Myles Brand was finally, after three decades, an IU president Knight could not bully into submission. (October 7, 2003)

Freebie Cutback

Hard times in Bloomington. IU's athletic director, Terry Clapacs, has announced the suspension (temporary, everyone is praying) of a longtime practice of giving two season basketball tickets free (value $800) to all full-time athletic department employees (180+ of them at last count). The retrieved freebies would be offered first to the employees themselves for a 20 percent discount. Whatever's left will be made available --big stunner here--to top-tier donors and other heavy hitters. Terry says times are tough, the department's running a deficit, and it's tough, tough, tough to justify the handouts. I suspect this is code for: somebody has raised a ruckus over the giveaway. The Star's account noted that all Big Ten schools have such a free tickets policy, but made no mention of any other school planning to suspend it. Another example of the cutting edge in Bloomington. (October 10, 2003)

Attendance at Indiana University's homecoming football game October 11 against Northwestern was 27,213. Memorial Stadium's listed capacity is 52,354. It was the fifth lowest attendance in 18 years since 1985. Indiana's newly-anointed athletlc director Terry Clapacs was quoted in the Indianapolis Star saying, "I thought the crowd was very disappointing. I think at Homecoming you should have close to a full house." (October 12, 2003)
Indiana has announced that its October 27 home game against mighty Ohio State is a sellout. But Ohio State fans have bought over 25,000 of those tickets.

Coach Is Still Coach, Flaming Away. . .But He Could Be Right On This One

Texas Tech basketball coach Bob Knight declined to attend a mandatory meeting of the National Association of Basketball Coaches in Rosemont, Illinois, October 15. Myles Brand, president of the NCAA and the guy who fired Knight at Indiana, was to address the group. The meeting was called by the NABC's Board of Directors to discuss Various Unpleasantnesses (you know, murders, cheating, coaches partying with coeds, drugs, booze, credit card fraud, assaults, rapes, stuff like that) which have plagued the game over the past year and the past 400,000 years. "A few coaches were no-shows," the Associated Press reported, and one of those was Coach. Coach Himself was quoted in the Indianapolis Star (beneath a picture of Coach with a bad case of bed hair), saying "Why should I be at that thing? Why should I be there? I don't think that meeting holds any merit." I'll bet Coach's brethren didn't miss him. Just a hunch. Sources close to the bowels of the Texas Tech program, though, say that Coach's "quote" was truncated by the media. They say that His reason for not going is that all these organizations--particularly the NCAA-- ever do is talk about reform, but they never take serious action to do so. Coach is reported to have said that if these people ever decide to act, He will be glad to attend and participate. If that's Coach's position, he's right. The NCAA could stop most of the crap in a minute if it were serious about doing so. (October 16, 2003)

Like Coach Said. . .

Most revealing were some comments of coaches at the meeting. Rather than standing stoutly behind severe punishment for offenders, or ways to eliminate the offending behavior, some coaches seemed to favor changing or eliminating the rules so there'd be fewer violations. Oklahoma Coach Kelvin Sampson said "Sometimes when we talk about violations, or cheating, or coaches making a mistake--a lot of these things are rules that maybe could be eliminated." Duke's Mike Krzyzewski seemed happy that the two organizations--the NABC and the NCAA--were trying to work together. He said that "gives us an opportunity to revisit and look at certain rules."

What Part Of The Word ‘Crappy' Don't We Understand?

"I have a lack of confidence in some of the things we're doing in our passing game. I was disappointed in our protection, in our route running, in our throwing, and in our catching. I had a lot of confidence in our running game and not a lot of confidence in our passing game, but it wasn't directed at Matt (Lovecchio, the quarterback), at the protection, or at the receivers. It was directed at all of them." --Gerry DiNardo, Indiana University football coach, explaining to eager reporters why he relied almost entirely on running plays at the end of regulation time and in overtime in a game IU eventually lost, 37-31, to Northwestern. (October 15, 2003)

Spinning Doormats Spotted By Alert Star Reader

A week ago the Indianapolis Star ran an article about Indiana University and Northwestern being "Perennial Doormats" in Big Ten football. The writer chose the time period of 1997-2003 for his comparison. I remember thinking the choice of years slightly odd. So did reader Curt Grelle of Indianapolis, whose letter to the editor in the October 19 edition pulled back the curtain. If years 1995-2003 had been used, Grelle noted, the whole story would have changed: it would show Northwestern with 20 more victories, plus two Big Ten championships and major bowl appearances. Grelle went on to say that if the Star had used decades, as most people do when analyzing trends, its article would have shown that Northwestern, far from being a league doormat, won more Big Ten titles than any other league school except Ohio State and Michigan. (October 19, 2003)

The Indianapolis Star, reporting on the now traditional opening of basketball practice at Indiana University, "Midnight Madness," noted that one of the new recruits, Patrick Ewing, Jr., won the slam dunk contest and played well at both ends of the court in a 15-minute scrimmage. Ewing was universally reported to stand 6-8 when he was a high school player. But, alas, the Star describes Ewing now as a "6-7 freshman." Before this is over, IU may discover it's recruited a 6-3 guard named Ewing. The plague--the mysterious shrinking of high school athletes when they enroll in college--remains at large and a menace. It is past time for national legislation to deal with this. (October 19, 2003)

There's always some ornery prick around thrusting the ultimate horror in our faces: facts. Recent chatter about the merits of IU's new quarterback, Matt Lovecchio, prompted an Indianapolis Star scribe to provide some: a comparison of Lovecchio's statistics after seven games this year to those compiled last year by two eminently forgettable holders of the position, Gibran Hamdan and Tommy Jones. Here they are: Passes attempted, completed, and percentage--Lovecchio, 101 of 194 for 52.1%, Hamdan and Jones, 128 of 256, or 50%; Passing yardage and average yards per completion-- Lovecchio, 1301 (12.88 yard average), Hamdan and Jones, 1893 (14.79 average); Touchdowns--Lovecchio, 2, Hamdan and Jones 13; Interceptions--Lovecchio 2, Hamdan and Jones, 6. The Star gave head coach Gerry Dinardo full rein to comment on these facts. DiNardo confessed to some puzzlement that the facts didn't show more than two touchdown passes and more than a 50 percent completion rate. But he added--somewhat inexplicably, it seems--that "it's his first year in the offense, so I have nothing to compare his play to. I'll still take this offense over the interception-fest we had last year. This is still better than what we did last year. It's not even close." The Star noted that last year for the full season Hamdan and Jones combined for 18 TD passes and 21 interceptions. Probably best to wait till the year's over, then look. (October 24, 2003)

Bulldoze It And Shut Down The Program Seems A Far Better Idea

Sources deep within the bowels of the Indiana University athletic department say that newly anointed Athletic Director, Terry Clapacs--unlike the cretins in Wonderland, D.C.--has a plan, a plan to bring back greatness to the IU football program. The centerpeice of Terry's dream is said to be to close in the south end of Memorial Stadium. Obviously, there are more pieces to the plan. But thoughtful observers are already brought up short by this one. Why, they ask, would Terry want to add 15,000 more empty seats. Aren't 20,000 empties a game enough? Why, indeed? (November 3, 2003)

Coach has filed a motion asking the judge who on October 7 threw out every last sentence of His lawsuit against Indiana University to reconsider, change his mind, and reinstate the suit. Coach claims Monroe County Circuit Court Judge Kenneth Todd erred and misinterpreted certain sections of Coach's special contract with IU; you know, the one only Coach and His attorneys are capable of correctly understanding. When will this meanspirited turd of a man let go, and get on with his miserable, ridiculous life? (November 6, 2003)

Attendance at the Indiana-Illinois game November 8 was officially announced at 24,102. This was the third-smallest crowd at Memorial Stadium since 1966, according to the Indianapolis Star. The other teeny-tinys were 23,018 vs. Illinois on Nov. 23, 1971, and 24,027 vs,. Michigan State on Nov. 11, 1995. (November 9, 2003)

Your Honor, I enter as evidence what may be the world's first known report of an athlete who has grown taller in the transition from high school to college. None other than Indiana University's first hyphenated basketballer, Jessan Gray-Ashley, who was universally listed at 6-8 when a high school athlete in Iowa. He has now been described twice this fall by the Indianapolis Star's intrepid IU beat writer, Terry Hutchens, as "the 6-10 forward." He's also porked up. Hutchens said in this morning's edition that G-A weighed 178 pounds when he enrolled at IU this summer, but weighs 205 now. (November 14, 2003

IU football is over, and a full-season comparison of current quarterback Matt LoVecchio and last year's co-quarterbacks, Gibran Hamdan and Tommy Jones, is available. LoVecchio's efficiency rating was 101.8 (versus 113.1 for Hamdan and 108.3 for Jones). LoVecchio completed 155 passes in 291 attempts (53.3%), while Hamdan-Jones went 227-445 and 51.01%. LoVecchio passed for 1778 total yards and 161.6 yards per game with three touchdown passes. Hamdan-Jones had 3020 total yards, a per-game average of 251.7, and 18 touchdown passes. LoVecchio threw 9 interceptions and Hamdan-Jones combined for 21. This gives us an unbiased basis for evaluating current Coach Gerry DiNardo's disparaging remarks about Hamdan-Jones's performance and his praise of LoVecchio's earlier this year. (November 23, 2003)

At Least There's One Other Place About Like Indiana In Football Enthusiasm

Baylor University's 50,000-seat stadium was "maybe one-quarter full for the Oklahoma State game," reports the Chicago Tribune, and there were "only a few small clumps of tailgaters in the parking lot."

He's B-a-a-a-a-a-c-k!

Coach has really been pissed lately. You get the feeling He's been on good behavior long enough. First it was crappy attendance at Texas Tech home games this year. After a season-low 6,136 fans showed for a home victory over San Diego State, Coach told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram He was "really, really disappointed in attendance," and that it had "come to bother me a great deal. If that's all that's going to attend basketball here, then Tech ought to give up basketball." The Lubbock Kool-Aid Crowd got the message and 7,097 showed up for the team's very next game. Next thing we heard, Coach was pissed because not enough tickets had been sold for a showcase game on national TV in Dallas against Iowa. Coach told AP two or three days before the game, at a point when about 8,500 tickets had been sold in a 19,200-seat arena, that, goddammit, if Tech alumni (said to number about 35,000) in the Dallas area couldn't support His team any better than that, then He would see to it that Tech never played another game in Dallas. "If they can't support a basketball game, we're not going back," Coach seethed. Dallas-area Kool-Aiders responded with attendance of 14,831 to see Tech win. So far, Coach's decision about whether Tech will drop college basketball or never again play in Dallas has not been reported. He will tell us when He is ready for us to know, is my guess. (December 23, 2003)

Monroe Circuit Judge Kenneth Todd without fanfare declined December 19 to reconsider an earlier ruling in Coach's big lawsuit againt Indiana University. Coach had appealed a September ruling against Him, saying that the judge incorrectly interpreted the legal language in Knight's contract. Judge Todd has now said it a second time. What is it about the English language that Coach doesn't understand? Coach can appeal, though, and no doubt will. Good! He'll be prolonging His own misery. (December 19, 2003)

Mike Davis was quoted in the Indianapolis Star this morning saying he really looked forward to today's game against top-ranked Kentucky becaue it would be a good measure of how much Indiana has improved this season. A few hours later, Kentucky humiliated IU, 80-41. IU was outrebounded, 54-25, outscored in the paint, 48-16, outscored in the second half, 48-15. Indiana was held to 26 percent shooting and had only four players score. Now Mike Davis knows. The difference in the two programs is measured in light years. (December 20, 2003)
Coach treated a grateful nation to another of his Just Bein' Coach tantrums December 22 on ESPN when, during a press interview he and Iowa Coach Steve Alford gave to a reporter named Fran Fraschilla, Coach took exception to a question asked of Alford about the Knight-Alford relationship. Coach interrupted and buried the reporter in profanities--eight of them in His approximate two-minute rant, including five variations of the F-word and three "bullshits". The bleep-filled video was broadcast around the nation. Alford, a stricken look on his face, declined to answer the original question or express a shred of embarrassment or shame when offered a chance after Coach stopped flaming. A day or so later, Coach apologized on his Lubbock radio talk show, so somebody high up at Texas Tech somehow managed to be judgmental. (December 22, 2003)

I Say Terrell's Been Watching Too Much IU Football

"(in the fourth quarter, Chicago quarterback) Chris Chandler hit (receiver David) Terrell over the middle for a long gainer. There was no defender near him, but Terrell inexplicably cut right and headed straight for (Chiefs) safety Shaunhard Harts, who tackled him on the 17." --From the Indianapolis Star's wire service accounts of the December 28 NFL game between the Chicago Bears and the Kansas City Chiefs. (December 29, 2003)

Coach was still bitching at year's end about crappy attendance at Texas Tech home games, but still hadn't ordered the University to drop collegiate basketball. Official seating capacity at TT's United Spirit Arena in Lubbock is 15,098. Average attendance--based on tickets sold--and this is important to distinguish, because Coach is finagling--during Coach's first year was 13,700. Not what Coach wanted, but not too bad, really. Last season, Coach's second, He decreed that henceforth attendance would be based on turnstile count. Average attendance was reported at 9,962 (a 27.3% decrease). So far this season (as of December 28, 2003), average attendance is 6,976, only 46 percent of capacity and down 30% from last season. All three seasons Tech has had winning teams with frequent national TV appearances. One of life's great mysteries is unfolding in West Texas. How can any of this be? (December 31, 2003)

Word seeped out at year's end that Jessan Gray-Ashley, Indiana's first-ever hyphenated-last-name basketballer, had been declared academically ineligible. He will miss the spring semester. My guess is he will never be heard from again on IU's roster. (December 31, 2003)

Only days after learning that IU had lost its hypenated basketballer (Jessan Gray-Ashley), I learned that Ohio State has one. His last name is Fuss-Cheatham. Eventually we'll get that first name. Must be a sign of the times. (December 31, 2003)

	Scoundrels, Knaves & Fools American Pile Whoops & Squawks Splinters From the Bench Indiana University Sports Lists & Other Minutiae Contact the author	2009 \| 2008 \| 2007 \| 2006 \| 2005 \| 2004 \| 2003 \| 2002 \| 2001 \| 2000 \| 1999 \| 1998 \| 1997 \| 1996 \| 1995 \| Pre-1995 Indiana University Sports Coach Sends One of His Two Begotten Sons. . . Just so we know Coach is still Coach, this morning's Indianapolis Star reported that Coach declined to attend the big press conference following Texas Tech's big New Year's Day win over instate rival, Houston. Coach sent His Son, Pat, instead. A TT sports information lackey later told eager reporters that Coach wanted his Son to get experience doing news conferences, and that was why He, Coach, wasn't there. (January 2, 2003) The Star this morning (January 10, 2003), roughly two weeks after the fact, carried a sports brief which seems to have slipped under most radar. It is unjustly alleged that on December 28 Iowa basketball coach Steve Alford "shoved Hawkeye guard Brody Boyd as they left the floor at halftime" of the Iowa-Tulsa game. Alford was said to have been upset because Boyd did not catch a breakout pass that Tulsa intercepted and turned into a layup. An ESPN commentator was heard by millions and millions and millions in the audience to say, "I wonder where he (Alford) learned that from?" This was taken by some to be a reference to Alford's playing and tutelage at Indiana for the legendarily tempestuous Bob Knight, who on more than one occasion was known--and once was even videotaped doing it-- to have physically engaged his players. Steve is said to have taken offense at the insinuation. He later told a Des Moines Register reporter, "I've learned a lot of lessons in the last five months about the creativity of the media." He, Alford, added that he felt that this (media unfairness against him, presumably) is "always going to be there because of the relationship that (Knight) and I have and the things we did together at Indiana." The Star's account was painfully brief, but it was only last summer that Alford made a much-publicized Healing Trip to Lubbock, Texas, where Coach now lives and works, for advice and counsel, and to reconcile after a period of estrangement from Coach. Alford's comments to the Register hint at the same kind of paranoia and blame-the-media surliness so pronounced in his mentor. One wonders if Steve is slowly emerging as a Chip Off The Old Coach. (January 10, 2003) Lou Lands An Expert On Life Without Consequences Lou Dobbs, genial host of CNN's Moneyline, of all people, had a recent segment about the alleged Decline in Sportsmanship in America. And he brought aboard, of all people, Bob Knight, as a guest expert on the subject. Dobbs stated the premise, then turned gravely to Coach and asked what Coach's take was on this. The problem, Coach intoned, is that "with athletes, actions have no consequences." Dobbs flicked nary an eyelash at this remark, coming as it did from a man whose nearly entire adult life--certainly all but one day of some 29 years of it as Indiana University basketball Coach, anyway--has been lived without consequences. (January 17, 2003) Time alone will tell if Todd Leary will lose his job for uttering on January 24 what many of us would consider the truth during a radio broadcast of the Indiana-Purdue basketball game from Mackey Arena. The Boilers thrashed Indiana and after the game Don Fischer, IU's long-time broadcaster, noted that Purdue Coach Gene Keady had finished a post-game interview and gone over to kiss his wife. Leary, serving this year as the "color commentator," blurted out that "It takes a real man to do that." There was hell to pay. Within a couple of days it was announced that Leary had sent a written apology to Keady, and was publicly apologizing to Purdue University and its fans, indeed to all decent human beings anywhere who might have been offended. And Leary made another apology three days later during the pre-game radio broadcast of the Indiana-Michigan State game. Anyone who has ever actually seen Keady's wife knows what Leary meant by the comment. Truth, though, is no defense in these settings. Leary has sinned, and he may not be done paying for it. (January 29, 2003) Another Shriveler For IU Indiana University basketball recruit Patrick Ewing Jr. was described as standing 6 feet 8 inches tall in the Star's announcement story March 7. On the same day, but presumably some hours later, a story by writer Mike Sullivan was filed on an Internet sports site, RivalsHoops.com, said Ewing was a 6-7. (March 7, 2003) Fundy, Fundy. . . Lawrence Funderburke, who spent one brief, shining partial semester on the IU basketball team long ago and far away, is still hanging around in the pros. A brief note in the March 14 Indianapolis Star reported that Funderburke, a reserve averaging 3.1 points on the Sacramento Kings, "was not with the team" for a game against the Phoenix Suns, and had "stayed home because of personal reasons." This is code, of course, and it can't be for anything good, given Fundy's history. (March 14, 2003) Don Fischer, apparently needing to douse the reality of Pittsburgh's 74-52 trashing of Indiana in the NCAA tournament, turned in the post-game broadcast to what he said was the wonderful potential of next year's IU team. His sidekick agreed, and listeners could be forgiven for wondering what university the two were referencing, since the fan consensus now seems to be that next season likely will be brutally bad. Fischer conceded that this year's team, which finished with a 21-13 record and in 6th place in the Big Ten, had certain problems during the season, and took a stab at describing them. This is close to an exact reconstruction of what Don said. "(there were) times during the year when IU played--well, I don't want to say selfishly--but they played for themselves." Don is apparently so concerned with political correctness and hurting feelings that he believes "selfishly" and "playing for themselves" are different concepts. (March 23, 2003) Fans Less Bashful Than Don Fans joining in post-season analysis weren't so bashful. Mark Patrick, host of an Indianapolis sports talk show, said the majority of his e-mailers and callers the next day named freshman guard Bracey Wright as the target of "selfishness" hints and claims made by upset teammates following the Pittsburgh defeat. Wouldn't you know it? Now that Coach is gone from Indiana University, another thing He forbade is going to be allowed. The March 17-22 issue of Indianapolis Business Journal reported that IU officials have signed a three-year deal worth $3.9 million to allow advertising inside Assembly Hall. School officials stress that the ads will appear initially in the foyer and concourse areas, not in the playing area. "Initially" is the operative word for those of us trying to break the code. Give ‘em time, they'll get in there, courtside, to defile another of Coach's legacies. (March 25, 2003) This is complicated, so help me out. Coach, who denies He has an anger management problem, has a cameo role in a new film just out starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. The film is called Anger Management. If Coach was paid to do this, then He has a hypocrisy management problem. This is the one that enables Him to schmooze on talk shows and with the press He has ridiculed for decades when it comes time to get publicity for His latest book, the one He wrote even though He never tires of instructing us that most people learn how to write in the second grade and move on to other, better things with their lives. (March 28, 2003) There's not been a single confirmed sighting of the elusive Norm Covenant House) Ellenberger, formerly an IU assistant basketball coach under Bob Knight, since his April 18, 2002, resignation from an assistant's job with the NBA's Chicago Bulls. (April 18, 2003) Coach's Deposition Big News In Kool-Aid Land--Pat Gets In A Few Licks, Too Coach and His oldest begotten son, Pat, had to give depositions last summer in a lawsuit filed against Coach by a former assistant, Ron Felling. The suit was settled last fall with Coach paying Felling $25,000 to drop it. Everyone hoped that would be the end of it. But WTHR-TV in Indianapolis filed a request under the Freedom of Information Act to get copies of the videotaped depositions. The court ruled in TV-13's favor, and starting on April 24--Day One of Sweeps Week, by incredible coincidence--the station began airing nightly snippets. It was Classic Coach: sullen, sneering, snotty, insolent, bullying, ill-tempered, self-serving. Pat was every bit as ugly and inarticulate, cursing and sneering, and boasting that he wished he'd had a chance to beat the crap out of Felling. It was wonderful to see Coach and His boy bristling in the dock, under oath. The Star ran stories and posted transcripts on its website. Timely reminders of how lucky we are that these festering sociopaths are gone from the Indiana scene. (April 25, 2003) His nickname was either "Bouncing" or "Bounding." He was an Elkhart High School all-stater in 1954, set the school's single season scoring record of 528 points. Played on Indiana University's 1958 Big Ten basketball champions, voted into the Indiana Basketball Hall of Fame in 1979, coached and taught at Shawswick and in the Indianapolis public schools. Died May 19 at age 68. Say adios to Ray Ball. (May 19, 2003) Road Warrior Gerry DiNardo has kept his promise. The Star this morning reported that Jerry has fulfilled his vow to visit every high school in Indiana to try to restore the good relationships Indiana University squandered during The Camster's disastrous turn as head football coach. It took DiNardo two springs: 45 days of travel, 311 schools visited, 13,000 miles driven. Without better players, all this will get him is an 0-12 season, But you've got to start somewhere. I like this guy. (June 3, 2003) Jackin' 'Em Up IU football ticket prices are increasing from $32 to $35 starting this fall, except for a couple of "premium" games, Ohio State and Purdue, where a ticket will run $40 and billions and billions and billions of Purdue and Buckeye fans may be stupid enough to drive down and pay it. Terry (We Looked Far And Wide All Over This Mother-Lovin' Planet For An Athletic Director Only To Find That The Absolute Best Man For The Job Was Right Here Among Us Schmoozin' On The Veranda All The Time) Clapacs, Indiana's new athletic director, was quoted in the Star this morning telling us how "very competitive" IU's prices are (but not telling us how non-competitive the team is), how it was (and remains) an "economic situation" and what great progress the athletic department is making in getting its finances back into the black. Terry obviously believes what the rest of them have believed for some time: namely, that when you produce and want to sell a non-competitive product, a hideously, appallingly crappy product, in fact, the way to get more people to buy it is to raise the price of it, and if they still don't want to buy, raise the price some more and some more until they do. And so the challenge remains: what is Terry going to do about the 20,000 empty seats that will greet him, on average, for every home game, no matter how high he raises ticket prices? (June 10, 2003) The true market value of an IU football game ticket remains about the price of a movie ticket, between $6-$8. Smart buyers will find all the tickets they want for sale by desperate-to-dump-'em vendors in the parking lot on game day, at roughly 50 percent discounts. Indiana University lawyers have asked a local Monroe County judge to dismiss Coach's lawsuit seeking billions and billions and billions in damages for what Coach deems a breach of his contract when IU fired him in September, 2000. Coach and his attorney were unreachable for comment, according to the Associated Press. (June 12, 2003) Grand Experiment Fails The Indiana University athletic department announced today it is switching back to artificial turf in its football stadium effective this fall. It will cost $466,000 and an anonymous alumni donor has been rounded up to pay the entire cost, it was reported. Five years ago then coach Cam Cameron convinced his bosses to change to natural grass. According to the Indianapolis Star this morning, this never worked out and there were "repeated problems with the grass taking hold." So, not only do we have a crappy football program, we can't even grow grass. (June 25, 2003) A breathless late-night phone call July 2 from a trusted source deep, deep within the bowels of the Indiana University athletic department informed me that basketball coach Mike Davis was planning to offer a high school coach in Tuscaloosa, Alabama an assistant's position in Bloomington and the assistant-to-be was--surprise!--the coach of D. J. White, a 6-9, 240-pound Tuscaloosa star who is said now to be Indiana's No. 1 recruiting target to fill out its Fall, 2004 class. A mere coincidence that the lad's coach happens to be the most qualified candidate in the entire nation for the opening, but you heard it here first, the raspy voice said. Click. Silence. (July 2, 2003) Thomas Departing A couple of days later, the Indianapolis Star sports section carried a brief note that assistant basketball coach Jim Thomas is leaving the staff. The story was typically obtuse. Thomas could not be reached for comment. Coach Mike Davis issued one of those arched, awkward statements about the key contributions Thomas had made and how everyone joined in wishing him (Thomas) the very best of luck. The only thing missing was the usual baloney about "moving on for the challenge" to "pursue other career oppportunities." No word about a replacement. (July 4, 2003) Heavy Breathin' at Nike. . . At precisely 7 p.m. on July 7 the phone rang. It was an informant, this time deep within the bowels of the Nike basketball camp currently underway in Indianapolis. "It's big," a raspy voice whispered over the roaring background din of the camp, "but you can book it--Indiana just got a commitment from D.J. White. The word was out half an hour ago. (Coach Mike) Davis is putting together a class that'll rival Michigan's Fab Five. If they get Josh Smith out of Georgia, you can book a Final Four ticket for Indiana." Fab Five sounds great, I shouted, so long as there was fewer indictments than Michigan had. "You heard it here, first," the voice said. Click. Silence. (July 7, 2003) Every once in a while a reader gets it just right. Brad Cooper of Franklin, Indiana, nailed it with a letter to the editor in the July 6 Sunday Indianapolis Star which is worth a prize. Coops charged that IU hired Myles Brand, then replaced him with a "guy Florida went to extreme measures to eliminate, fired the best basketball coach of his generation, hired the joke that is Mike Davis, gave Cam Cameron a five-year extension and then fired him with pay, hired a new athletic director and then ‘resigned' him with pay, spent hundreds of thousands of dollars not to change the school logo, and agreed to pay millions for the retirement of the same president (Brand) who made these bad decisions and then left." Cooper wrapped up his fusillade by ripping this world-class university which can't even grow grass on its football field, noting that the school claimed that "real grass costs $150,000 to reseed and even more to maintain,." but alleging that "enough grass seed to cover 10 football fields costs under $100 at Wal-Mart and Chem-Lawn will do it for $500 a shot." Not a whole lot that can be rebutted here. A Vicar of Vitriol, indeed! Anybody Here Got A Tape Measure? Mike Davis and Indiana basketball were the buzz of the Nike Camp in Indianapolis the first week of July. D. J. White of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, announced on the camp's first full day that he was IU's in the fall of 2004. He is a consensus Top 10 player nationally. The Star‘s account July 8 said D.J. was 6-7 and 233 pounds. When word first leaked locally in late June that White was "leaning" toward Indiana, the story said he stood 6-9 and weighed 240. Then a story in the Star July 10 said White was 6-8 and 235 pounds. I repeat: there is no greater need in this great nation than for federal legislation establishing a National Board of Weights and Measures for everyone participating in athletics at any level. (July 10, 2003) And two days after D.J. signed on for IU, so did Josh Smith. Josh is said to stand 6-9 and weigh 215. He is also a Top 10-ranked player nationally, and is from McEacham (Georgia) Powder Springs High School. He will play his senior year at Oak Hill Academy in Virginia, and come to IU in the Fall of 2004. White and Smith will be joined by two previously announced IU recruits--Robert (Darth) Vaden of Indianapolis Pike High School, and James Hardy of Fort Wayne Elmhurst (July 10, 2003) No matter how much the other Indiana basketball recruits shrink, they'll probably not be eyeball-to-eyeball with 5-9 Errek Suhr (son of the legendary Buck, a former IU assistant football coach and radio broadcaster), who is scheduled to be a walk-on in the Fall of 2003 for Mike Davis's team. Given history, once Errek arrives on campus, is thrown to the ground, hog-tied, and actually measured, he'll be 5-3 or so. That could be a modern-day record for IU starters. Gerry DiNardo was asked at the Big Ten football media day in Chicago about star linebacker John Kerr quitting the Indiana team and transferring to Ohio State. "I know he doesn't like me," DiNardo said. "After he told me that, I didn't listen to the other reasons." Good job, Gerry. A straight, honest answer. Refreshing candor. (July 23, 2003) Beautiful Irony Baylor Coach Dave Bliss, a disciple and protégé of Bob Knight (Bliss was an assistant coach for Knight at Indiana University), has lost his job at Baylor and may face criminal charges (obstruction of justice) if prosecutors are feelin' bitchy. Bliss, who resigned recently, before the report cards could come out on an NCAA investigation of the school's basketball program, has been audio-taped telling assistant coaches and a few team members to lie when NCAA investigators questioned them. One of Baylor's starters was murdered earlier this summer and dark clouds hang everywhere for the university. Two great ironies remain in all this: I can't recall seeing a single mention in press coverage of the fact that Bliss is a Knight protégé, or of the utterly weird coincidence that the beginning of the end for Knight at Indiana University came in the spring of 2000 when an assistant coach, Ron Felling, smuggled an incriminating videotape of Knight to the press, where it was shown on national televsision, and now Bliss, a Knight acolyte, has been nailed to the wall by an assistant coach who secretly taped Bliss and gave the tape to the NCAA snoops. (August 17, 2003) Four For One Would Be More Like It The August 31 Sunday Indianapolis Star sports section carried a coupon offering a "Buy One, Get One Free" football ticket deal for Indiana University's home opener Sept. 13 against Indiana State. This at least drags down the price of a ticket to the high teens-- still two to three times the $6-$8 it's worth, but a step in the right direction. The best thing about this is that with the university itself seemingly more desperate to sell tickets, the vendors selling them in the parking lot will have to cut prices to sell theirs. Maybe free market capitalism has finally penetrated even the bunkers at Indiana. (August 31, 2003) The Star noted in pre-season commentary that Indiana's football team had given up 40 points or more in a game 29 times ( 35%) in 89 games over the past eight seasons. For comparison, it noted that Ohio State had given up 40 points to an opponent once since 1980, and won that game, 49-42, over Illinois. . . .And Then He Was Run Over By An Onrushing Train of Thought IU football broadcaster Danny Thompson, describing a dropped pass by an Indiana receiver in the season opener at Connecticut, said that the pass was perfectly thrown but a defender actually got his hand up in the ball's vicinity, causing IU's receiver to "lose his train of vision." I say bring back Buck Suhr, who at least occasionally blurted out something brutally honest. (September 1, 2003) A moment of grateful, prayerful silence, please. Today is the third anniversary of Coach's firing at Indiana University. All hail! All hail Myles Brand! (September 10, 2003) Word seeps north that Iowa basketball coach Steve Alford was among those in Lubbock the weekend of September 13-14 for a reunion of Bob Knight's former players. Meantime, in Bloomington, Indiana, the same weekend, former players under ex-Indiana football Coach Bill Mallory convened for a golf outing, dinner, and other festivities. Attendees were given a baseball cap emblazoned with the words "Mallory"s Men" on top, and on the side, one of Peewilly's legendary sayings, "Lock Your Jaw." (September 15, 2003) Indiana University offered a Buy One, Get One Free ticket deal for fans interested in attending the IU-Indiana State game September 14. Official attendance was reported at 31,112 (Indiana won, 33-3), about the norm in recent years in Memorial Stadium. At 2-for-1, tickets are still way overpriced. Four-for-one would get it about right, the price of a movie ticket. Thousands of potential ticket-buyers have rendered their decision--the price for an IU football game is steeply over-valued. When will IU officials understand the basic economics involved? (September 15, 2003) What Part of The Phrase ‘Did Not' Will Coach Not Understand? Monroe County Circuit Judge Kenneth Todd has thrown out of court Bob Knight's lawsuit against his former employer, Indiana University. Todd ruled October 6 that in firing Knight in September of 2000 the university did not violate Coach's sacred human rights, did not withhold any money due Knight, did not defame Knight, did not deny Coach his due process rights, did not deny Coach his rightful legacy at IU, and did not breach any aspect of Coach's contract. (October 7, 2003) Judge Todd, in tossing out Coach's suit against IU, did confess to puzzlement about one aspect of Coach's contract. Apparently it contained not the usual one, but two clauses addressing conditions under which the university could fire Coach. First there was the standard "at will" clause which allowed a firing as long as Coach was paid remaining amounts due under his contract. A second clause, however, allowed the university to fire Knight "for cause." Judge Todd said that was confusing, when the "at will" portion gave the school all the legal cover it needed to fire Knight. It turns out the "for cause" clause was specifically negotiated by Knight into his contract. The Indianapolis Star's account quoted IU trustee Pete Obremsky saying that "this clause was Knight's protection against an athletic director firing him on the spot." It was widely known over the latter years of Knight's tenure at Indiana that He and then athletic director Clarence Doninger had become "estranged," to put a polite face on it. Knight's contract also stipulated that Knight reported only to the University president as his boss, not to the athletic director. Obremsky, commenting on the inclusion of the "for cause clause" said--with or without irony we'll probably never know--that, "Frankly, he (Coach) thought he could deal with the president." As it turned out, Myles Brand was finally, after three decades, an IU president Knight could not bully into submission. (October 7, 2003) Freebie Cutback Hard times in Bloomington. IU's athletic director, Terry Clapacs, has announced the suspension (temporary, everyone is praying) of a longtime practice of giving two season basketball tickets free (value $800) to all full-time athletic department employees (180+ of them at last count). The retrieved freebies would be offered first to the employees themselves for a 20 percent discount. Whatever's left will be made available --big stunner here--to top-tier donors and other heavy hitters. Terry says times are tough, the department's running a deficit, and it's tough, tough, tough to justify the handouts. I suspect this is code for: somebody has raised a ruckus over the giveaway. The Star's account noted that all Big Ten schools have such a free tickets policy, but made no mention of any other school planning to suspend it. Another example of the cutting edge in Bloomington. (October 10, 2003) Attendance at Indiana University's homecoming football game October 11 against Northwestern was 27,213. Memorial Stadium's listed capacity is 52,354. It was the fifth lowest attendance in 18 years since 1985. Indiana's newly-anointed athletlc director Terry Clapacs was quoted in the Indianapolis Star saying, "I thought the crowd was very disappointing. I think at Homecoming you should have close to a full house." (October 12, 2003) Indiana has announced that its October 27 home game against mighty Ohio State is a sellout. But Ohio State fans have bought over 25,000 of those tickets. Coach Is Still Coach, Flaming Away. . .But He Could Be Right On This One Texas Tech basketball coach Bob Knight declined to attend a mandatory meeting of the National Association of Basketball Coaches in Rosemont, Illinois, October 15. Myles Brand, president of the NCAA and the guy who fired Knight at Indiana, was to address the group. The meeting was called by the NABC's Board of Directors to discuss Various Unpleasantnesses (you know, murders, cheating, coaches partying with coeds, drugs, booze, credit card fraud, assaults, rapes, stuff like that) which have plagued the game over the past year and the past 400,000 years. "A few coaches were no-shows," the Associated Press reported, and one of those was Coach. Coach Himself was quoted in the Indianapolis Star (beneath a picture of Coach with a bad case of bed hair), saying "Why should I be at that thing? Why should I be there? I don't think that meeting holds any merit." I'll bet Coach's brethren didn't miss him. Just a hunch. Sources close to the bowels of the Texas Tech program, though, say that Coach's "quote" was truncated by the media. They say that His reason for not going is that all these organizations--particularly the NCAA-- ever do is talk about reform, but they never take serious action to do so. Coach is reported to have said that if these people ever decide to act, He will be glad to attend and participate. If that's Coach's position, he's right. The NCAA could stop most of the crap in a minute if it were serious about doing so. (October 16, 2003) Like Coach Said. . . Most revealing were some comments of coaches at the meeting. Rather than standing stoutly behind severe punishment for offenders, or ways to eliminate the offending behavior, some coaches seemed to favor changing or eliminating the rules so there'd be fewer violations. Oklahoma Coach Kelvin Sampson said "Sometimes when we talk about violations, or cheating, or coaches making a mistake--a lot of these things are rules that maybe could be eliminated." Duke's Mike Krzyzewski seemed happy that the two organizations--the NABC and the NCAA--were trying to work together. He said that "gives us an opportunity to revisit and look at certain rules." What Part Of The Word ‘Crappy' Don't We Understand? "I have a lack of confidence in some of the things we're doing in our passing game. I was disappointed in our protection, in our route running, in our throwing, and in our catching. I had a lot of confidence in our running game and not a lot of confidence in our passing game, but it wasn't directed at Matt (Lovecchio, the quarterback), at the protection, or at the receivers. It was directed at all of them." --Gerry DiNardo, Indiana University football coach, explaining to eager reporters why he relied almost entirely on running plays at the end of regulation time and in overtime in a game IU eventually lost, 37-31, to Northwestern. (October 15, 2003) *Spinning Doormats Spotted By Alert Star* Reader** A week ago the Indianapolis Star ran an article about Indiana University and Northwestern being "Perennial Doormats" in Big Ten football. The writer chose the time period of 1997-2003 for his comparison. I remember thinking the choice of years slightly odd. So did reader Curt Grelle of Indianapolis, whose letter to the editor in the October 19 edition pulled back the curtain. If years 1995-2003 had been used, Grelle noted, the whole story would have changed: it would show Northwestern with 20 more victories, plus two Big Ten championships and major bowl appearances. Grelle went on to say that if the Star had used decades, as most people do when analyzing trends, its article would have shown that Northwestern, far from being a league doormat, won more Big Ten titles than any other league school except Ohio State and Michigan. (October 19, 2003) The Indianapolis Star, reporting on the now traditional opening of basketball practice at Indiana University, "Midnight Madness," noted that one of the new recruits, Patrick Ewing, Jr., won the slam dunk contest and played well at both ends of the court in a 15-minute scrimmage. Ewing was universally reported to stand 6-8 when he was a high school player. But, alas, the Star describes Ewing now as a "6-7 freshman." Before this is over, IU may discover it's recruited a 6-3 guard named Ewing. The plague--the mysterious shrinking of high school athletes when they enroll in college--remains at large and a menace. It is past time for national legislation to deal with this. (October 19, 2003) There's always some ornery prick around thrusting the ultimate horror in our faces: facts. Recent chatter about the merits of IU's new quarterback, Matt Lovecchio, prompted an Indianapolis Star scribe to provide some: a comparison of Lovecchio's statistics after seven games this year to those compiled last year by two eminently forgettable holders of the position, Gibran Hamdan and Tommy Jones. Here they are: Passes attempted, completed, and percentage--Lovecchio, 101 of 194 for 52.1%, Hamdan and Jones, 128 of 256, or 50%; Passing yardage and average yards per completion-- Lovecchio, 1301 (12.88 yard average), Hamdan and Jones, 1893 (14.79 average); Touchdowns--Lovecchio, 2, Hamdan and Jones 13; Interceptions--Lovecchio 2, Hamdan and Jones, 6. The Star gave head coach Gerry Dinardo full rein to comment on these facts. DiNardo confessed to some puzzlement that the facts didn't show more than two touchdown passes and more than a 50 percent completion rate. But he added--somewhat inexplicably, it seems--that "it's his first year in the offense, so I have nothing to compare his play to. I'll still take this offense over the interception-fest we had last year. This is still better than what we did last year. It's not even close." The Star noted that last year for the full season Hamdan and Jones combined for 18 TD passes and 21 interceptions. Probably best to wait till the year's over, then look. (October 24, 2003) Bulldoze It And Shut Down The Program Seems A Far Better Idea Sources deep within the bowels of the Indiana University athletic department say that newly anointed Athletic Director, Terry Clapacs--unlike the cretins in Wonderland, D.C.--has a plan, a plan to bring back greatness to the IU football program. The centerpeice of Terry's dream is said to be to close in the south end of Memorial Stadium. Obviously, there are more pieces to the plan. But thoughtful observers are already brought up short by this one. Why, they ask, would Terry want to add 15,000 more empty seats. Aren't 20,000 empties a game enough? Why, indeed? (November 3, 2003) Coach has filed a motion asking the judge who on October 7 threw out every last sentence of His lawsuit against Indiana University to reconsider, change his mind, and reinstate the suit. Coach claims Monroe County Circuit Court Judge Kenneth Todd erred and misinterpreted certain sections of Coach's special contract with IU; you know, the one only Coach and His attorneys are capable of correctly understanding. When will this meanspirited turd of a man let go, and get on with his miserable, ridiculous life? (November 6, 2003) Attendance at the Indiana-Illinois game November 8 was officially announced at 24,102. This was the third-smallest crowd at Memorial Stadium since 1966, according to the Indianapolis Star. The other teeny-tinys were 23,018 vs. Illinois on Nov. 23, 1971, and 24,027 vs,. Michigan State on Nov. 11, 1995. (November 9, 2003) Your Honor, I enter as evidence what may be the world's first known report of an athlete who has grown taller in the transition from high school to college. None other than Indiana University's first hyphenated basketballer, Jessan Gray-Ashley, who was universally listed at 6-8 when a high school athlete in Iowa. He has now been described twice this fall by the Indianapolis Star's intrepid IU beat writer, Terry Hutchens, as "the 6-10 forward." He's also porked up. Hutchens said in this morning's edition that G-A weighed 178 pounds when he enrolled at IU this summer, but weighs 205 now. (November 14, 2003 IU football is over, and a full-season comparison of current quarterback Matt LoVecchio and last year's co-quarterbacks, Gibran Hamdan and Tommy Jones, is available. LoVecchio's efficiency rating was 101.8 (versus 113.1 for Hamdan and 108.3 for Jones). LoVecchio completed 155 passes in 291 attempts (53.3%), while Hamdan-Jones went 227-445 and 51.01%. LoVecchio passed for 1778 total yards and 161.6 yards per game with three touchdown passes. Hamdan-Jones had 3020 total yards, a per-game average of 251.7, and 18 touchdown passes. LoVecchio threw 9 interceptions and Hamdan-Jones combined for 21. This gives us an unbiased basis for evaluating current Coach Gerry DiNardo's disparaging remarks about Hamdan-Jones's performance and his praise of LoVecchio's earlier this year. (November 23, 2003) At Least There's One Other Place About Like Indiana In Football Enthusiasm Baylor University's 50,000-seat stadium was "maybe one-quarter full for the Oklahoma State game," reports the Chicago Tribune, and there were "only a few small clumps of tailgaters in the parking lot." He's B-a-a-a-a-a-c-k! Coach has really been pissed lately. You get the feeling He's been on good behavior long enough. First it was crappy attendance at Texas Tech home games this year. After a season-low 6,136 fans showed for a home victory over San Diego State, Coach told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram He was "really, really disappointed in attendance," and that it had "come to bother me a great deal. If that's all that's going to attend basketball here, then Tech ought to give up basketball." The Lubbock Kool-Aid Crowd got the message and 7,097 showed up for the team's very next game. Next thing we heard, Coach was pissed because not enough tickets had been sold for a showcase game on national TV in Dallas against Iowa. Coach told AP two or three days before the game, at a point when about 8,500 tickets had been sold in a 19,200-seat arena, that, goddammit, if Tech alumni (said to number about 35,000) in the Dallas area couldn't support His team any better than that, then He would see to it that Tech never played another game in Dallas. "If they can't support a basketball game, we're not going back," Coach seethed. Dallas-area Kool-Aiders responded with attendance of 14,831 to see Tech win. So far, Coach's decision about whether Tech will drop college basketball or never again play in Dallas has not been reported. He will tell us when He is ready for us to know, is my guess. (December 23, 2003) Monroe Circuit Judge Kenneth Todd without fanfare declined December 19 to reconsider an earlier ruling in Coach's big lawsuit againt Indiana University. Coach had appealed a September ruling against Him, saying that the judge incorrectly interpreted the legal language in Knight's contract. Judge Todd has now said it a second time. What is it about the English language that Coach doesn't understand? Coach can appeal, though, and no doubt will. Good! He'll be prolonging His own misery. (December 19, 2003) Mike Davis was quoted in the Indianapolis Star this morning saying he really looked forward to today's game against top-ranked Kentucky becaue it would be a good measure of how much Indiana has improved this season. A few hours later, Kentucky humiliated IU, 80-41. IU was outrebounded, 54-25, outscored in the paint, 48-16, outscored in the second half, 48-15. Indiana was held to 26 percent shooting and had only four players score. Now Mike Davis knows. The difference in the two programs is measured in light years. (December 20, 2003) Coach treated a grateful nation to another of his Just Bein' Coach tantrums December 22 on ESPN when, during a press interview he and Iowa Coach Steve Alford gave to a reporter named Fran Fraschilla, Coach took exception to a question asked of Alford about the Knight-Alford relationship. Coach interrupted and buried the reporter in profanities--eight of them in His approximate two-minute rant, including five variations of the F-word and three "bullshits". The bleep-filled video was broadcast around the nation. Alford, a stricken look on his face, declined to answer the original question or express a shred of embarrassment or shame when offered a chance after Coach stopped flaming. A day or so later, Coach apologized on his Lubbock radio talk show, so somebody high up at Texas Tech somehow managed to be judgmental. (December 22, 2003) I Say Terrell's Been Watching Too Much IU Football "(in the fourth quarter, Chicago quarterback) Chris Chandler hit (receiver David) Terrell over the middle for a long gainer. There was no defender near him, but Terrell inexplicably cut right and headed straight for (Chiefs) safety Shaunhard Harts, who tackled him on the 17." --From the Indianapolis Star's wire service accounts of the December 28 NFL game between the Chicago Bears and the Kansas City Chiefs. (December 29, 2003) Coach was still bitching at year's end about crappy attendance at Texas Tech home games, but still hadn't ordered the University to drop collegiate basketball. Official seating capacity at TT's United Spirit Arena in Lubbock is 15,098. Average attendance--based on tickets sold--and this is important to distinguish, because Coach is finagling--during Coach's first year was 13,700. Not what Coach wanted, but not too bad, really. Last season, Coach's second, He decreed that henceforth attendance would be based on turnstile count. Average attendance was reported at 9,962 (a 27.3% decrease). So far this season (as of December 28, 2003), average attendance is 6,976, only 46 percent of capacity and down 30% from last season. All three seasons Tech has had winning teams with frequent national TV appearances. One of life's great mysteries is unfolding in West Texas. How can any of this be? (December 31, 2003) Word seeped out at year's end that Jessan Gray-Ashley, Indiana's first-ever hyphenated-last-name basketballer, had been declared academically ineligible. He will miss the spring semester. My guess is he will never be heard from again on IU's roster. (December 31, 2003) Only days after learning that IU had lost its hypenated basketballer (Jessan Gray-Ashley), I learned that Ohio State has one. His last name is Fuss-Cheatham. Eventually we'll get that first name. Must be a sign of the times. (December 31, 2003) Back to top
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