2002 | Indiana University Sports

Indiana Coach Mike Davis earned a $25,000 bonus (part of his new contract) when his team won a share of the Big Ten basketball championship. He has given the entire amount to his church to support youth programs. There's something very sinister about this. Will the ACLU launch an investigation? (March 15, 2002)

Coach Still Rollin' In IU Cash

Those pleased to see Bob Knight's pestilential presence gone from the state of Indiana can't get too smirky about their triumph. For the March 10 Indianapolis Star carried a report that although Coach is no longer on the payroll, Coach is still on the payroll. Indiana University is cutting monthly checks for $17,994.33 to Knight to continue his contract which expires in June, 2002. And once a year for the next eight years the University must pay Knight $425,244.04 as part of his university pension. In February of 2001, Coach notified The University He was planning to sue them for $7 million for emotional distress suffered because He was fired. No word from the Star on how that matter's progressing. The one sure thing, though, is that Coach will nurse his anger and resentment until the end of time. Good! (March 10, 2002)

Two "What If" Heartbreakers For IU Fans

There's a new videocassette out on the life of Oscar Robertson, who some say was the greatest basketball player ever, surpassing even Michael Jordan. Robertson grew up in Indianapolis, played college ball at the University of Cincinnati, and had a stellar professional career. A story about the new video in the Indianapolis Star March 17 contained a tantalizing nugget buried deep in the article--in the "jump" portion on an inside page. The writer (Steve Slosarek) notes that (italics mine) "Robertson had chosen Cincinnati over Indiana University because, during a recruiting trip, Robertson took offense when IU coach Branch McCracken implied that the player would accept payments from athletic department devotees for playing there." A panel of Star readers could not agree on the meaning of this paragraph and a delegate was directed to contact the author for clarification. Slosarek said that McCracken inadvertently offended Robertson when he (McCracken) made an offhand remark that he certainly hoped Robertson was not one of those players who would be looking for any kind of under-the-table payments (because Indiana was not that kind of school). Robertson was offended that the issue was even raised, according to Slosarek. And so it seems a chance remark may have cost Indiana arguably the greatest college player of his time. This is exquisite torture for IU fans, who also can remember that the legendary Larry Bird accepted a scholarship and enrolled at Indiana for a brief shining September in 1974. Bird quit school shortly before basketball practice began, and went home to Terre Haute to work. He and now Oscar will top the list of "what ifs" when Indiana fans gather to reminisce about the olden days.

Imagine This: A Normal Human Being. . .

I've watched several editions of Indiana University basketball coach Mike Davis's weekly television show and it's quite a contrast to its predecessor. The latter was called The Bob Knight Show and was--as everything was in Bloomington during the Knight Era--more about Knight himself than anything else. The new version is Indiana Basketball. . .Featuring Mike Davis. Davis is dressed immaculately in suit and tie for every program. He sits attentively, responds directly and clearly to each question asked by the show's host, John Laskowski. There's none of the bile, sarcasm, and surliness of the departed Knight. A delightful and refreshing change.

Jesse Gets Mike All Shook Up

In the flood of breathless coverage coming out of the NCAA basketball tourney came this nuuget: Jesse Jackson called Indiana Coach Mike Davis to congratulate him on IU's amazing trip to the Final Four. Davis said he was so shook up about it that he couldn't remember his own address when Jesse asked for it so He could put it in His Rolodex. Mike's wife had to help him out with the address. Mike said he was astonished, shocked that an Eminence such as this would ever call him. Appears Davis has temporarily suspended what might be called his "critical faculties."

Todd Checks, Finds Diploma Says IU, Not Bob Knight University

This morning's Indianapolis Star carried a story about ex-Hoosier players who will NOT be rooting for Indiana in the Final Four. They included Steve Downing, Tom Geyer, and Pat Knight, all, coincidentally, sipping grape at The Master's Feet in Lubbock. No surprise in this story--all three are known acolytes. The shocker, though, was that the story then quoted Todd Leary, who played on the 1992 IU Final Four team and is now an IU basketball broadcaster beside the legendary Don Fischer. Leary told breathless reporters he was "disappointed" to hear these lads would be cheering for the enemy. Then Leary offered this little scorcher--my nomination for Quip O' The Week: "If my diploma came from Bob Knight University like those guys', I'd be rooting for Oklahoma, too. But my diploma says Indiana University and I'll be rooting for the Hoosiers." Bet money Todd and his family will be getting some late night visits and calls from the heavy-breathers in the Grape Kool-Aid legions. He has excommunicated himself from the Inner Circle of True Believers with his remarks. He will pay a heavy price. He has shown remarkable courage. (March 27, 2002)

Davis Declines To Take The Bait

Mike Davis has had some difficulties in recent months with blurting out things that get him in hot water, but on March 27 he got it perfect. The Indianapolis Star, seemingly desperate for something controversial to write about, cooked up a story about a debate that is "raging" (in its view)--namely, who gets credit for IU's great success in the NCAA tournament--new Coach Mike Davis, who was involved in recruiting some of the players on the current roster, and who has coached them full-time for two years, or the fired former coach, Bob Knight, who claims in his new book that he, Knight, was responsible for getting most of them to attend IU and that he, Knight, knew all along that he had the makings of a championship team with these current lads? Davis was asked about it and told breathless reporters that it didn't matter to him who got credit, the important thing was that they were playing hard for Indiana University, and he thought they were certainly doing that. Wonderfully succinct, on-target, and insightful--and horribly deflating for the reporter who no doubt thought he'd get Davis to say something dumb. (March 27, 2002)

The Star even compiled a list of the current players for this story and assigned "credit" for recruiting each of them. Pat Knight was given credit, apparently without irony, for being the lead recruiter on Mike Roberts and George Leach, and co-lead recruiter on Sean Kline. (March 27, 2002)

A major source of amusement lately has been Coach's Healing Book Tour. Bob Knight's newest book is due out March 26 and suddenly Knight--world-renowned for his contempt and vicious abuse of journalists in over three decades of coaching--is popping up everywhere, on radio and TV talks shows, making personal appearances in major cities, to hype book sales. So the man famously self-proclaimed for his honor and integrity is willing to put aside his lifelong record of loathing the press if he can use them to make some money.

Coach Puts Contempt For Journalists Aside, Becomes One

And who but the most attentive of troublemakers will notice that Coach, famous for remarking of journalists that "most of us learn to write by the second grade then go on to other (better and more important) things," is willing to become an editor and writer himself when there's cash on the table?

Coach seldom passed up a chance to let us know what an honorable and upright man he was, but occasionally we get a peek behind the curtain. One of Coach's former players, Todd Leary, gave us such a glimpse when he was quoted in the March 28 Indianapolis Star about the "loyalty issue" that's such a big part of Coach's mantra. Leary told the Star that behind the scenes Coach is now using former players to spread the word that He wants His ex-IU players to contribute money to Texas Tech, where Coach now holds court, instead of giving to Indiana. This tactic is reminiscent of the one Richard Nixon made popular in Watergate days, of erecting a "wall of deniability" between himself and actions taken by his staff on Nixon's behalf. Using players to spread the word allows Coach to deny doing this if he's ever asked about it. Leary professed puzzlement that Coach would pass along this message now. "He must have said that two million times," Leary said. "He said we should always be loyal to Indiana. So now I think he should be proud that most of us are continuing to be loyal to IU." (March 28, 2002)

"At long last, the cord to an evil era has been cut. Indiana has a new basketball program now, a better way of life. . .It is Davis. . .the outsider who has been harassed mercilessly by Knight's loyalists, who ends up fitting the state's values far better than the legendary ogre he replaced" --Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times columnist, commenting about new Coach Mike Davis's success at emerging from the shadow cast by his predecessor, fired coach Bob Knight, after Indiana's 73-64 win over heavily favored Oklahoma in the Final Four in Atlanta. (March 30, 2002)

Memo To Mike Bianchi: This Will Do for Starters. . .

". . .there is a much deeper, more satisfying reason why we want to see the Hoosiers win the national title. Because it would drive Bob Knight out of his mind. Because it would cut Bob Knight's heart out. Because it would minimize Bob Knight, de-emphasize him, diminish and disparage him. What could be better than that?" --Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel. (March 30, 2002)

Anyone who thinks this IU team would have played this well under Bob Knight is dreaming. Even present and former players are saying as much. Another cherished illusion the Kool-Aid Crowd needs to let go of.

Following the 64-52 loss to Maryland in the April 1 national championship game, we can say that this Indiana team went light years beyond what even its most hysterically optimistic fans would ever have imagined. This team took over-achieving to new heights. This season was a magnificent accomplishment, one we'll remember for years to come. And absolutely the best thing about it is that it was a thundering rebuke to Coach and the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd. It had to just tear their guts out. Good.

I know, I know, I could have turned off the TV sound, turned on the radio, and listened to Don Fischer shill for Indiana. But that would have required me to get out of my Barcalounger. It takes roughly forty-five minutes to unfasten the restraints, so it made no sense to leave the chair.

You can make the case, too, that Don Fischer is the best college basketball and football broadcaster ever to sit behind a mike.

Jared Jeffries remains the most overhyped player in ages at IU. His combined 16 points and 15 rebounds in two Final Four games don't spell "best ever" for me. I believe statistics will show that Jeffries would not rank even in the top 10 players in Indiana basketball history. One of the big foundations will be researching this and reporting back.

Bartender, Make That Two Valiums For The Kravster!

The Star's sports columnist, Bob Kravitz, is screaming this morning for IU to tear up Mike Davis's contract and give him a new one with a huge raise. Davis just signed a new four-year deal a few months ago. He and everybody else said then that it was a great deal. Kravitz says IU's going to the national championship game changes all that. This is preposterous. Where was Kravitz when IU looked absolutely awful in the pre-season? Was he lobbying for a pay reduction then? I must have missed it. Davis already has a new contract and he is fairly paid for now. Kravitz needs another sedative. (April 2, 2002)

I'd give Mike Davis a raise on one condition: that he spend every penny of it to hire a 24-7-365 personal media handler. Davis has suffered half a dozen or more episodes of blurting out hysterical or impolitic remarks in the last few months. He is painfully inexperienced in high-pressure public settings, and the press droolers eagerly leap on any dopey little thing the comes out of his mouth. Davis gets credit for refreshing candor and honesty, but often his remarks are not in his own best interests. A media handler could prove invaluable till Davis gets enough experience to know when not to say something.

Prepping For Coach

Coach is coming back to Indiana April 6-7 for book signings. Titanic crowds are expected. Massive police and security forces are on alert. Phone lines are flooded with calls from the Faithful, wanting to know about overnight camping arrangements. Naturally there are strict rules. They apply only to others, though, not to Coach. Coach will allow photographs, His handlers report, but He will not pose for them. There is a limit on how many books per person He will sign. There is a rule on how He will sign them, and for how long. Bookstore owners say they are swamped with calls and orders. They say they are really a little frightened that the crowds will get out of control in His presence. Worshippers may approach Coach only on bended knee. Heads must be bowed. No direct eye contact is permitted. Small bowls of precious oils will be placed on the floor so that His feet may be anointed. Coach's handlers will be serving flagons o' grape. Cyanide is optional. The book costs $25.95. The Indianapolis Star hasn't confirmed it, but I'll bet they put out a special edition on this. This is bigger than the Second Coming. (April 4, 2002)

Here Come De Facts!

Jared Jeffries' talents have been hotly argued among IU fans over the last two years and loyalists are still wondering how much his departure for the NBA draft will hurt next year's team. Better to let facts carry the day, so the consulting firm of Schnepp, Runyon, Trepling, Reems and Kernodle was hired to compile comparative statistics measuring Jeffries against IU's "Thousand Point Club," a widely accepted measure of achievement for its basketball players. Since records for rebounding, assists, blocks, steals, turnovers, and three-point shooting were either not consistently kept or do not exist at all, the most thorough comparison comes in points scored and field goal and free throw shooting percentage. Since Jeffries played only two seasons, his achievements are compared only against the first two seasons played by all the others in the survey. Draft reports show the following: In points scored per game, Jeffries ranked 19th of 35 players studied: Don Schlundt (21.6), Archie Dees (21.2), Walter Bellamy (20.0), Calbert Cheaney (19.5), Mike Woodson (19.2), Jay Edwards (18.2), Jimmy Rayl (18.0), Joe Cooke (17.3), Dick Van Arsdale (17.2), Tom Bolyard (17.0), Dick Van Arsdale (16.9), Steve Alford (16.8), Joby Wright (16.1), Butch Joyner (15.6), Bob Leonard (15.5), A. J. Guyton (15.2), Vern Payne (14.9), Scott May (14.5), Jared Jeffries (14.4), Eric Anderson (13.9), Steve Downing (13.7), Steve Green (13.5), Rick Calloway (13.2), Kent Benson (12.4), Damon Bailey (11.9), Allen Henderson (11.4), Ray Tolbert (11.1), Andrae Patterson (9.5), Quinn Buckner (9.5), Greg Graham (9.2), Uwe Blab (8.6), Brian Evans (8.1), Randy Wittman (6.9), Ted Kitchel (6.2), Daryl Thomas (4.0). In field goal shooting percentage, Jeffries ranked 22nd out of 34 compiled: Cheaney (.586), Alford (.560), Anderson (.540), Calloway (.538), Blab (.532), Benson (.527), Bellamy (.526), Wittman (.523), Woodson (.522), Daryl Thomas (.515), Green (.514), May (.502), Bailey (.501), Tolbert (.500), Henderson (.498), Greg Graham (.491), Wright (.475), Patterson (.473), Edwards (.465), Joyner (.452), Downing (.451), Jeffries (.450), Dick Van Arsdale (.440), Schlundt (.440), Evans (.440), Tom Van Arsdale (.438), Kitchel (.437), Bolyard (.435), Guyton (.426), Dees (.424), Rayl (.416), Payne (.415), Cooke (.410), Buckner (.394). In free throw shooting Jeffries ranked 28th out of 34 compiled: Alford (.917), Edwards (.847), Dees (.830), Kitchel (.826), Rayl (.807), Guyton (.806), Cheaney (.781), Woodson (.779), Dick Van Arsdale (.769), May (.767), Cooke (.759), Schlundt (.755), Evans (.741), Wittman (.737), Greg Graham (.737), Anderson (.727), Bailey (.727), Green (.724), Patterson (.721), Calloway (.708), Benson (.706), Payne (.706), Joyner (.693), Tolbert (.676), Bolyard (.667), Bellamy (.659), Henderson (.650), Jeffries (.643), Tom Van Arsdale (.632), Daryl Thomas (.602), Buckner (.582), Blab (.575), Wright (.543), Downing (.508). Of all the players in the 1,000-Point Club, only 10 played in the era of the three-point shot. Jeffries ranks 9th of 10 in three-point percentage: Alford (.530), Greg Graham (.439), Cheaney (.438), Bailey (.437), Guyton (.414), Evans (.408), Anderson (.396), Patterson (.326), Jeffries (.325), and Henderson (.231). Case closed. (April 10, 2002)

Coach's Healing Tour Awes The Faithful

Coach has come and gone, and there was no violence, no loss of life (though the usual souls were sold). The Indianapolis Star and central Indiana television gave us wall-to-wall coverage over the weekend of Coach's Healing Tour, which featured stops to sign copies of His new book in Indianapolis, Bloomington, and Terre Haute. Literally thousands of people attended. Many were quoted In Praise of Him. Some brought young children. Coach blessed them. They came in cars, vans, buses, limousines, on bicycles, motorcycles, unicycles, tricycles. Big Wheels and dune buggies. They came on horseback, on mules, in ox-drawn carts, and on foot. Some choppered in. Oddly enough, apparently no news outlet tallied the numbers of nations, states, cities, and towns they came from, or their faiths, creeds, ethnicity, races, genders, hues, or sexual preferences. We can be sure it was a Diverse Faithful. Reporters, once they regained composure and could speak, described the crowds as peaceful, joyous, worshipful, awed in His Presence. There was a single report of a protester appearing in a downtown Indianapolis store. He was quickly hustled away by authorities before the crowd could tear him limb from limb. Coach Himself, according to the Star's Monday morning report, was observed displaying a "bit of churlishness" at the Bloomington signing. Part of the elaborate procedure for the event involved an assistant Coach was provided. This individual's job was to obtain the names of the people in line, write that name on a slip of paper, and push it in front of Coach so He, Coach, would not have to ask how to spell that person's name when it came time to "personalize" a signature. But, alas, the assistant, apparently weary, produced some slips in handwriting that Coach had trouble reading. Coach became "churlish." He muttered what could only be described as an uncharitable, critical remark. He demanded that it (the illegible handwriting) be fixed. The assistant was replaced by another. The handwriting improved. Coach was satisfied, calmed. A sigh of relief swept the room. Many had feared, it seemed, that Coach was going to erupt and become truly angry. We can imagine their relief when He did not. Legendary Bloomington fan Al Carpenter, age 51, who has attained fame for himself by becoming the most famous fan of them all, and whose name is thus in the Rolodex of every reporter and newspaper person assigned to Cover The Mentor, was there, in Bloomington, and managed to get himself photographed with Coach (although the rules clearly stated that Coach would not pose for pictures) for the front page of the Star this morning. Carpenter also created a stir when he refused to allow a bookstore attendant to take his (Carpenter's) book from the shelf or stack straight over to Coach for signing. Al firmly told an eager reporter that he (Carpenter) "did not want anyone touching the book except for Coach." Later, seeking wisdom, reporters asked Carpenter about Coach's declining so far to utter a syllable of congratulations to His Boys on the Indiana team for their remarkable tourney run. Carpenter calmed the reporter, then told him that "Coach will say something, but in His own good time." That seemed to have a soothing effect, not only on the Sunday crowd, but among churlish Star readers twitching over their Monday morning gruel. (April 8, 2002)

Coach is so damned mad at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram for running a front-page story about His son Tim's business practices--Tim's also on the Texas Tech payroll--that He has canceled His appearance at a Fort Worth Public Library benefit co-sponsored by the paper. Normally, Coach and His acolytes make big hay out of his fund-raising for libraries--He got tons of great publicity for it when He was at Indiana University, anyway. But this, well, this is different, somehow, so Coach didn't hesitate to jettison His commitment.

Listening to the Indianapolis 500 Mile Race May 26, I happened to hear a broadcaster say, "And now let's go down to Chuck Marlowe in (wherever Chuck was)." And away they went and there was the familiar voice of Chuck, still alive, still an obsequious fawning babbler. A confirmed sighting--the first in several years for this observer! I figured Chuck had joined the rest of them in that great migration south to Lubbock to sit at the feet of The Mentor. Apparently not. I'll bet Chuck calls Coach for advice regularly, though. (May 27, 2002)

Dopiness To The Googol Power

Indiana University athletic officials have announced a plan to build club seating and luxury suites at Memorial Stadium, where there are roughly 20,000 empty seats at every home football game. Doesn't get much dumber than this.

He's A Prick, An Outsider, And He Has Standards--Such Men Are Dangerous

New Indiana University athletic director Mike McNeeley has made news recently by letting the word leak out that he was setting goals and expectations for the sports program, and that he intends to hold coaches and their staffs to standards. Many will loathe him for it. He'll make a lot of enemies in Bloomington, particularly among the crowd of genial schmoozers on the Varsity Club veranda. They want to sip their mint juleps and watch golden sunsets rather than bust their asses chasing excellence. McNeeley better never turn his back. (July 1, 2002)

IU's Grape Kool-Aid Crowd is said to be deeply pleased that one of Coach's betrayers, Luke Recker, was not drafted in the recent NBA meat market. They remember--as we all do--Luke's saying when he left Indiana that he wanted to be in a program that would enhance his chances of playing in the NBA. Coach's Coyotes are feelin' so smug it's almost unbearable. (July 11, 2002)

What's A Day At The Fair Without A Little Kool-Aid?

Indianapolis Star columnist Will Higgins brought us the inspiring account this morning of 79-year-old Bob Carroll, who is setting up an In Praise of Coach Booth at the Indiana State Fair. Passersby will be invited to speak words of adulation and encouragement--no negativity allowed, you can be sure--to Coach. These will be recorded and the audiocassettes shipped to KBAM Sports Radio in Lubbock where, Carroll prays, they will be broadcast to the yearning West Texas multitudes hanging around Texas Tech worshipping Coach. And of course a private set will be given to Coach Himself. Carroll also plans use his Fair venue to launch the Indiana Double T Club so Coach's worshippers still living in Indiana will have a flag around which to rally. Last Fall Carroll sponsored an All Hail Coach Day at an Eastside Senior Citizens Center. Five persons, according to Higgins, showed up. One minor mystery in all this: Higgins reports that Carroll's booth will be set up "outside the swine barn." Wonder if Higgins found Carroll's unwittingly perfect choice of site as beautiful as we did. (August 12, 2002)

Kissing The Ring. . .

Steve Alford was sighted on the ground in West Texas recently, where he was believed to have gone to seek counsel and absolution from Coach. This should end any speculation that Steve is a man of rectitude and principles. (August 10, 2002)

Alford himself confirmed his Lubbock pilgrimmage, telling reporter Rob Howe of the Iowa City Press-Citizen that "It was an incredible three days both personally and professionally. I came home with 36 pages of notes." Howe noted that Coach and Steve's relationship had been "tenuous" in recent years until Steve broke the ice and called Coach last January. Steve said he not only got coaching advice--the old "X's and O's"--but personal guidance from The Mentor, as well. Alford joined Coach in an interview on Fox TV, and those who saw it were struck by the shower of compliments Alford rained on Coach. "You want to have a good relationship with someone who's meant so much to me," Alford said.

Scott May, Jr., has quietly slipped out of town and off the IU basketball roster, according to reports leaking out of Bloomington in late August. Young May is the son of Scott May, who played on Indiana's national champions in 1976. Young Scott was recruited as a walk-on at IU after averaging 7.5 points for his high school team, but more importantly, because he was the older brother of Sean May, one of the nation's most highly-recruited players who IU desperately wanted to land. Sean chose North Carolina instead and when that happened, the charade with Scott Jr. no longer had a shred of justification. Scott Jr. is transferring to Division II's University of Southern Indiana. Good. (August 26, 2002)

Coach has settled with one of His Tormentors, Ron Felling, for a piddly $25,000. (Felling had sued Coach, charging assault.) Coach also agreed not to contest Felling's use of certain witness statements sealed under court order when it comes time for Ron's $1 million lawsuit against Indiana University to go forward. Coach also agreed to give a statement, apparently Coach's version of what went on that fateful day in Felling's office (December 1, 1999) to Ron's lawyer in the IU case. Felling's attorney told the Indianapolis Star how happy Ron was to have this settlement, but did not disclose what portion of it would be eaten up by attorney fees. It is alleged that Ron's suit against IU is still "alive." The only puzzler here is how Coach got off so cheap. (September 4, 2002)

The Buck Suhr Conundrum

Buck Suhr, a rarity in the coterie of flacks broadcasting Indiana University sports for his occasional bursts of candor, was quietly fired over the summer. He has been replaced on the football broadcast team by Danny Thompson, a former IU football player with little to no radio experience. No explanation has been given for the move and no one associated with the broadcasts will utter a peep about it. Suhr, a former coach, wasn't Red Barber, but he was sometimes brutally honest about what he was witnessing onfield, and he had a sense of humor and sufficient background to offer valid insights about the game. I've listened to his replacement, Thompson, for one game, and can assure you Thompson wasn't hired because he was more qualified or more talented than Suhr. The Silver Fox has been assigned to ferret out the truth on the Buck Suhr Conundrum. (September 8, 2002)

All Hail 9/10!

But hey! September 11 will be a downer but we get a joyous celebration the day before. For September 10 is the two-year anniversary of The Canning Of Coach!! So let's get the brass bands marching in our neighborhoods bright and early. Let's take the kids and grandkids out for an ice cream cone. Take 'em to the park and tell them stories of the olden days when Coach Ruled The World And Terrorized The Countryside. Let's tell them of the courageous, leather-balled Myles, who rode, after three decades of fear and trembling and dithering in high places, to the rescue 9/10/2000 and cut off Coach's and Banished Him To The Outer Darkness, Which Later Became Lubbock. Let's tell them how at last the people came to be free. And let's forever hail Ron Felling, without whose videotape this would never have happened.

For the historical record, George McGinnis, who played one brief shining season of Indiana University basketball in the early 1970s, compiled these statistics in 11 professional seasons with the Philadelphia 76ers, Denver Nuggets, and Indiana Pacers: ABA (Pacers): 25.2 points per game, field goal shooting percentage of .470, free throw percentage of .682, and 12.9 rebounds per game; NBA (76ers, Nuggets, Pacers): 17.2 points per game, field goal percentage of .448, free throw percentage of .651, and 9.8 rebounds per game. Combined, George scored 17,009 points for an average of 20.2 per game, and grabbed 9,235 rebounds in 842 pro games for a 10.97 per game average. He was a three-time NBA all-star. (September 9, 2002)

Antwaan Randle-El made his NFL debut September 9. I turned eagerly to my September 10 Indianapolis Star sports section looking for a report on how the ex-Indiana University quarterback did. Nothing there, and nothing in any issue the rest of the week, either. Getting the "local angle" on such a story is a childishly simple concept in journalism. Apparently it never occurred to the Star's sports editors and writers that the billions and billions and billions of IU alumni and fans around Indianapolis and the state would be interested. Luckily the Chicago Tribune knew there was a local angle. Randle-El is from the Chicago area and starred in high school sports there. Its report noted that Antwaan completed his only pass for five yards, rushed one time for 9 yards, returned two punts for 9 yards and caught six passes for 87 yards.

Waiting For The Other Arms And Legs To Drop

Lawyers for Indiana University and Coach have agreed on a one-month extension of the two-year Statue of Limitations (you know, the one with no arms or nose) so they can try to reach a settlement of Coach's Threatened Big Lawsuit For Billions And Billions And Billions Of Dollars In Damages For Crimes Committed Against Him And His Family By The University. The statue expired September 10. The new deadline is October 10, 2002. The Indianapolis Star's article about this indicates Coach's initial demands seem to have shriveled with time (and, one deduces, with the intrusion of reality). But nuffin's ever over till it's over, so best wait till the rest of the arms and legs drop off the statue. (September 10, 2000)

A Piercing Insight

I've struggled mightily over the years to find words to describe Indiana University football, with no special success. It's comforting to know that others are trying, too. In late September one of them--known only as Sam Flenner of Indianapolis--gave it a shot in a letter to the editor of the Indianapolis Star. Sam referenced in his missile a public debate about a possible extension of Interstate 69 through southern Indiana, and offered this wry retort: "A recent letter to the editor said access to Indiana University football was a reason for the new-terrain I-69 (proposal). In reality, IU football is more of a reason to shut off all access to Monroe and its surrounding counties, relocating the school, all residents and businesses, and allowing the entire area to grow back into the beautiful wilderness it once was." I think Sam's just about nailed it! (September 25, 2002)

Ohio State's offensive line outweighed Indiana's by an average of 45 pounds per man September 28 when the two teams played in Columbus, Ohio. Ohio State won, 45-17. Years ago Indiana football coach Peewilly Lockjaw downplayed such size differences favoring opponents. He much preferred, he said, to recruit smaller, faster, more agile players. This was code for: IU could not recruit big monsters. Lockjaw's collection of runts got plastered most of the time, like runts always do. Now it's 2002 and our beloved boys are still fleas against enemy rhinos nearly every Saturday. Some things never change and IU football is one of them. (September 28, 2002)

Brand Belongs On Mt. Rushmore

Myles Brand's resignation as president of Indiana University brought out the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd, clucking and sneering about the man who fired the icon god, Bob Knight. Brand is accepting a position as the chief executive of the NCAA at a salary said to be several times his IU stipend. Newspaper columns were aflutter with opinions, speculation and reflection on Brand's work at IU. If Brand never did a thing at Indiana except fire Bob Knight, he rendered heroic and unparalleled service to the university and to humanity, for which he should be revered through all eternity. They should put up a statue in his honor on campus.

Steve Alford's had a run of off-season bad news--recruits in trouble with the law, players in trouble and transferring--in his Iowa basketball program. Iowa fans are said to be restless and upset over Steve's mediocre results in the last couple of years. Some have even expressed sympathy for the young Hawkeye mentor. I don't feel sorry for Steve, not one bit. My admiration for him has gone way down in light of his recent declarations of fealty--including a vomit-inducing ESPN interview last spring with Coach--to his former college coach at Indiana, Bob Knight. This (Steve) is a man who we've been told for decades has built his entire life on his Christian faith, on rectitude, honor, decency, politeness, good manners, kindness to others. Steve has been presented as a pure, clean-limbed, Boy Scout and All-American boy, a lad of God. For him to affiliate himself with a man like Knight is, I'm sorry, a contradiction of what Alford claims to be. Alford has either abandoned what he claims his life has been built upon or he is a howling hypocrite. This has nothing to do, I hasten to add, with the way Alford played basketball at Indiana University. That I greatly admire.

For the historical record, Indiana University has added two walk-ons to its men's basketball team for the 2002-2003 season: 6-7 Joe Harmaan (Cincinnati) and 6-8 Jason Stewart from Edwardsport (North Knox High School). (October 17, 2002)

IU Bags First Hyphenated Male Basketballer

IU's first and only basketball recruit so far for the Fall of 2003 is Jessan Gray-Ashley, described as a 6-9 (though he's sure to shrink by the time he arrives on campus) power forward weighing 210 pounds. He is from Davenport, Iowa, and is not on anyone's Top This or That lists at this point. The Star's account indicated Indiana stole Jessan from the likes of Iowa (which, according to sources close to the bowels of the Hawkeye program, was decidedly not interested in him), Creighton, Bowling Green, Nebraska, Alabama State, and Indiana State. Unremarked in all this is this landmark: Jessan is the first male basketball recruit in Indiana history bearing a hyphenated last name. Hyphens typically spell a certain "edge" when encountered in a female; it will be fascinating to see what Jessan's hyphen bring us. (November 11, 2002)

The Star can't seem to let go of Coach, stop rubbing Him in our faces, or our faces in Him. This morning's edition carried a sports front page feature on how happy Coach is in Lubbock, how happy everyone down there is to have Him, how well things are going for Him, how the old fire is still there and how He really, really, really wants to coach, and how, per his adoring oldest son, Pat, Coach may coach forever because He loves coaching so much and is so happy down there. I can't for the life of me figure out why the Star feels it still has to cater to the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd, but apparently it does. (November 20, 2002)

Perhaps the best football player on Indiana University's sorry team, freshman linebacker John Kerr, has announced he will transfer to another school. Coach Gerry DiNardo issued a terse, two-sentence cinfirmation. Otherwise, radio silence. Some felt this is a terrible blow. Kerr's team-leading 114 tackles will be made, to the extent that next year's team makes any tackles at all, by someone else. Kerr's absence will not be noticed. He probably feels he can further his chances for a pro career by playing at a legitimate big-time program. The odds say he is wrong if he believes he'll ever play as a professional. They say he's right if he believes he will play for a better football program by transferring almost anywhere.This is a non-event for IU football. (December 5, 2002)

Brandian Disconnect. . .

"Michael McNeeley came in with extraordinary credentials. His interpersonal skills are excellent. He did a lot of good things for the university in terms of branding the athletic program. He did a superb job, and a very difficult job." --Myles Brand, outgoing Indiana University President, quoted in the November 25 Indianapolis Business Journal, when asked how he, Brand, would assess the brief (20 months) tenure of Michael McNeeley, the man he hired as athletic director (McNeeley was fired several months ago after alienating almost everyone in the university family, and his tenure was by nearly all (non-Brandian) accounts a major disaster).

Something's Right WithThe World--Ray Tolbert Can Still Dunk!

Where Are They Now Department: Ray Tolbert, the wonderfully likeable center on Indiana University's 1981 NCAA basetball champions, is now an ordained minister working as sports and recreation director at the East 91st Street Church in Indianapolis, and is happy as a clam about it. This encouraging news came from a Louisville Courier-Journal feature story December 23. "And I can still dunk," he joyously told sports reporter Michael Grant. (December 23, 2002)

Nonjudgmentalism And Weak Knees Still Seem To Trump Everything In Bloomington

Indiana University pooh-bahs continue to have trouble getting it right. After basketball coach Mike Davis got national attention--plus two technical fouls and ejected from the game--for storming on-court at the end of the Indiana-Kentucky game December 21, IU officials shuffled their feet, looked at the floor and waited around for polls to tell them which way the wind was blowing. Finally the Big Ten stepped in and proposed a suspension for Davis, to which the University agreed (one game suspension and a written apology to the officials). Davis's outburst brought forth critics who asked what had happened to the University's famous "zero tolerance" policy--the one imposed 29 years late by then-president Myles Brand and which soon after resulted in Indiana firing basketball Coach Bob Knight in September, 2000. They had a point. Indiana's acting athletic director, Terry Clapacs, downplayed Davis' behavior and never issued any strong criticism of it, and the University failed to step in forcefully and take action of its own. The school's weak handling of the matter leaves the impression that nobody in charge of anything there is capable of forcefully dealing with matters like this. (December 30, 2002)

	Scoundrels, Knaves & Fools American Pile Whoops & Squawks Splinters From the Bench Indiana University Sports Lists & Other Minutiae Contact the author	2009 \| 2008 \| 2007 \| 2006 \| 2005 \| 2004 \| 2003 \| 2002 \| 2001 \| 2000 \| 1999 \| 1998 \| 1997 \| 1996 \| 1995 \| Pre-1995 Indiana University Sports Indiana Coach Mike Davis earned a $25,000 bonus (part of his new contract) when his team won a share of the Big Ten basketball championship. He has given the entire amount to his church to support youth programs. There's something very sinister about this. Will the ACLU launch an investigation? (March 15, 2002) Coach Still Rollin' In IU Cash Those pleased to see Bob Knight's pestilential presence gone from the state of Indiana can't get too smirky about their triumph. For the March 10 Indianapolis Star carried a report that although Coach is no longer on the payroll, Coach is still on the payroll. Indiana University is cutting monthly checks for $17,994.33 to Knight to continue his contract which expires in June, 2002. And once a year for the next eight years the University must pay Knight $425,244.04 as part of his university pension. In February of 2001, Coach notified The University He was planning to sue them for $7 million for emotional distress suffered because He was fired. No word from the Star on how that matter's progressing. The one sure thing, though, is that Coach will nurse his anger and resentment until the end of time. Good! (March 10, 2002) Two "What If" Heartbreakers For IU Fans There's a new videocassette out on the life of Oscar Robertson, who some say was the greatest basketball player ever, surpassing even Michael Jordan. Robertson grew up in Indianapolis, played college ball at the University of Cincinnati, and had a stellar professional career. A story about the new video in the Indianapolis Star March 17 contained a tantalizing nugget buried deep in the article--in the "jump" portion on an inside page. The writer (Steve Slosarek) notes that (italics mine) "Robertson had chosen Cincinnati over Indiana University because, during a recruiting trip, Robertson took offense when IU coach Branch McCracken implied that the player would accept payments from athletic department devotees for playing there." A panel of Star readers could not agree on the meaning of this paragraph and a delegate was directed to contact the author for clarification. Slosarek said that McCracken inadvertently offended Robertson when he (McCracken) made an offhand remark that he certainly hoped Robertson was not one of those players who would be looking for any kind of under-the-table payments (because Indiana was not that kind of school). Robertson was offended that the issue was even raised, according to Slosarek. And so it seems a chance remark may have cost Indiana arguably the greatest college player of his time. This is exquisite torture for IU fans, who also can remember that the legendary Larry Bird accepted a scholarship and enrolled at Indiana for a brief shining September in 1974. Bird quit school shortly before basketball practice began, and went home to Terre Haute to work. He and now Oscar will top the list of "what ifs" when Indiana fans gather to reminisce about the olden days. Imagine This: A Normal Human Being. . . I've watched several editions of Indiana University basketball coach Mike Davis's weekly television show and it's quite a contrast to its predecessor. The latter was called The Bob Knight Show and was--as everything was in Bloomington during the Knight Era--more about Knight himself than anything else. The new version is Indiana Basketball. . .Featuring Mike Davis. Davis is dressed immaculately in suit and tie for every program. He sits attentively, responds directly and clearly to each question asked by the show's host, John Laskowski. There's none of the bile, sarcasm, and surliness of the departed Knight. A delightful and refreshing change. Jesse Gets Mike All Shook Up In the flood of breathless coverage coming out of the NCAA basketball tourney came this nuuget: Jesse Jackson called Indiana Coach Mike Davis to congratulate him on IU's amazing trip to the Final Four. Davis said he was so shook up about it that he couldn't remember his own address when Jesse asked for it so He could put it in His Rolodex. Mike's wife had to help him out with the address. Mike said he was astonished, shocked that an Eminence such as this would ever call him. Appears Davis has temporarily suspended what might be called his "critical faculties." Todd Checks, Finds Diploma Says IU, Not Bob Knight University This morning's Indianapolis Star carried a story about ex-Hoosier players who will NOT be rooting for Indiana in the Final Four. They included Steve Downing, Tom Geyer, and Pat Knight, all, coincidentally, sipping grape at The Master's Feet in Lubbock. No surprise in this story--all three are known acolytes. The shocker, though, was that the story then quoted Todd Leary, who played on the 1992 IU Final Four team and is now an IU basketball broadcaster beside the legendary Don Fischer. Leary told breathless reporters he was "disappointed" to hear these lads would be cheering for the enemy. Then Leary offered this little scorcher--my nomination for Quip O' The Week: "If my diploma came from Bob Knight University like those guys', I'd be rooting for Oklahoma, too. But my diploma says Indiana University and I'll be rooting for the Hoosiers." Bet money Todd and his family will be getting some late night visits and calls from the heavy-breathers in the Grape Kool-Aid legions. He has excommunicated himself from the Inner Circle of True Believers with his remarks. He will pay a heavy price. He has shown remarkable courage. (March 27, 2002) Davis Declines To Take The Bait Mike Davis has had some difficulties in recent months with blurting out things that get him in hot water, but on March 27 he got it perfect. The Indianapolis Star, seemingly desperate for something controversial to write about, cooked up a story about a debate that is "raging" (in its view)--namely, who gets credit for IU's great success in the NCAA tournament--new Coach Mike Davis, who was involved in recruiting some of the players on the current roster, and who has coached them full-time for two years, or the fired former coach, Bob Knight, who claims in his new book that he, Knight, was responsible for getting most of them to attend IU and that he, Knight, knew all along that he had the makings of a championship team with these current lads? Davis was asked about it and told breathless reporters that it didn't matter to him who got credit, the important thing was that they were playing hard for Indiana University, and he thought they were certainly doing that. Wonderfully succinct, on-target, and insightful--and horribly deflating for the reporter who no doubt thought he'd get Davis to say something dumb. (March 27, 2002) The Star even compiled a list of the current players for this story and assigned "credit" for recruiting each of them. Pat Knight was given credit, apparently without irony, for being the lead recruiter on Mike Roberts and George Leach, and co-lead recruiter on Sean Kline. (March 27, 2002) A major source of amusement lately has been Coach's Healing Book Tour. Bob Knight's newest book is due out March 26 and suddenly Knight--world-renowned for his contempt and vicious abuse of journalists in over three decades of coaching--is popping up everywhere, on radio and TV talks shows, making personal appearances in major cities, to hype book sales. So the man famously self-proclaimed for his honor and integrity is willing to put aside his lifelong record of loathing the press if he can use them to make some money. Coach Puts Contempt For Journalists Aside, Becomes One And who but the most attentive of troublemakers will notice that Coach, famous for remarking of journalists that "most of us learn to write by the second grade then go on to other (better and more important) things," is willing to become an editor and writer himself when there's cash on the table? Coach seldom passed up a chance to let us know what an honorable and upright man he was, but occasionally we get a peek behind the curtain. One of Coach's former players, Todd Leary, gave us such a glimpse when he was quoted in the March 28 Indianapolis Star about the "loyalty issue" that's such a big part of Coach's mantra. Leary told the Star that behind the scenes Coach is now using former players to spread the word that He wants His ex-IU players to contribute money to Texas Tech, where Coach now holds court, instead of giving to Indiana. This tactic is reminiscent of the one Richard Nixon made popular in Watergate days, of erecting a "wall of deniability" between himself and actions taken by his staff on Nixon's behalf. Using players to spread the word allows Coach to deny doing this if he's ever asked about it. Leary professed puzzlement that Coach would pass along this message now. "He must have said that two million times," Leary said. "He said we should always be loyal to Indiana. So now I think he should be proud that most of us are continuing to be loyal to IU." (March 28, 2002) "At long last, the cord to an evil era has been cut. Indiana has a new basketball program now, a better way of life. . .It is Davis. . .the outsider who has been harassed mercilessly by Knight's loyalists, who ends up fitting the state's values far better than the legendary ogre he replaced" --Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times columnist, commenting about new Coach Mike Davis's success at emerging from the shadow cast by his predecessor, fired coach Bob Knight, after Indiana's 73-64 win over heavily favored Oklahoma in the Final Four in Atlanta. (March 30, 2002) Memo To Mike Bianchi: This Will Do for Starters. . . ". . .there is a much deeper, more satisfying reason why we want to see the Hoosiers win the national title. Because it would drive Bob Knight out of his mind. Because it would cut Bob Knight's heart out. Because it would minimize Bob Knight, de-emphasize him, diminish and disparage him. What could be better than that?" --Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel. (March 30, 2002) Anyone who thinks this IU team would have played this well under Bob Knight is dreaming. Even present and former players are saying as much. Another cherished illusion the Kool-Aid Crowd needs to let go of. Following the 64-52 loss to Maryland in the April 1 national championship game, we can say that this Indiana team went light years beyond what even its most hysterically optimistic fans would ever have imagined. This team took over-achieving to new heights. This season was a magnificent accomplishment, one we'll remember for years to come. And absolutely the best thing about it is that it was a thundering rebuke to Coach and the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd. It had to just tear their guts out. Good. I know, I know, I could have turned off the TV sound, turned on the radio, and listened to Don Fischer shill for Indiana. But that would have required me to get out of my Barcalounger. It takes roughly forty-five minutes to unfasten the restraints, so it made no sense to leave the chair. You can make the case, too, that Don Fischer is the best college basketball and football broadcaster ever to sit behind a mike. Jared Jeffries remains the most overhyped player in ages at IU. His combined 16 points and 15 rebounds in two Final Four games don't spell "best ever" for me. I believe statistics will show that Jeffries would not rank even in the top 10 players in Indiana basketball history. One of the big foundations will be researching this and reporting back. Bartender, Make That Two Valiums For The Kravster! The Star's sports columnist, Bob Kravitz, is screaming this morning for IU to tear up Mike Davis's contract and give him a new one with a huge raise. Davis just signed a new four-year deal a few months ago. He and everybody else said then that it was a great deal. Kravitz says IU's going to the national championship game changes all that. This is preposterous. Where was Kravitz when IU looked absolutely awful in the pre-season? Was he lobbying for a pay reduction then? I must have missed it. Davis already has a new contract and he is fairly paid for now. Kravitz needs another sedative. (April 2, 2002) I'd give Mike Davis a raise on one condition: that he spend every penny of it to hire a 24-7-365 personal media handler. Davis has suffered half a dozen or more episodes of blurting out hysterical or impolitic remarks in the last few months. He is painfully inexperienced in high-pressure public settings, and the press droolers eagerly leap on any dopey little thing the comes out of his mouth. Davis gets credit for refreshing candor and honesty, but often his remarks are not in his own best interests. A media handler could prove invaluable till Davis gets enough experience to know when not to say something. Prepping For Coach Coach is coming back to Indiana April 6-7 for book signings. Titanic crowds are expected. Massive police and security forces are on alert. Phone lines are flooded with calls from the Faithful, wanting to know about overnight camping arrangements. Naturally there are strict rules. They apply only to others, though, not to Coach. Coach will allow photographs, His handlers report, but He will not pose for them. There is a limit on how many books per person He will sign. There is a rule on how He will sign them, and for how long. Bookstore owners say they are swamped with calls and orders. They say they are really a little frightened that the crowds will get out of control in His presence. Worshippers may approach Coach only on bended knee. Heads must be bowed. No direct eye contact is permitted. Small bowls of precious oils will be placed on the floor so that His feet may be anointed. Coach's handlers will be serving flagons o' grape. Cyanide is optional. The book costs $25.95. The Indianapolis Star hasn't confirmed it, but I'll bet they put out a special edition on this. This is bigger than the Second Coming. (April 4, 2002) Here Come De Facts! Jared Jeffries' talents have been hotly argued among IU fans over the last two years and loyalists are still wondering how much his departure for the NBA draft will hurt next year's team. Better to let facts carry the day, so the consulting firm of Schnepp, Runyon, Trepling, Reems and Kernodle was hired to compile comparative statistics measuring Jeffries against IU's "Thousand Point Club," a widely accepted measure of achievement for its basketball players. Since records for rebounding, assists, blocks, steals, turnovers, and three-point shooting were either not consistently kept or do not exist at all, the most thorough comparison comes in points scored and field goal and free throw shooting percentage. Since Jeffries played only two seasons, his achievements are compared only against the first two seasons played by all the others in the survey. Draft reports show the following: In points scored per game, Jeffries ranked 19th of 35 players studied: Don Schlundt (21.6), Archie Dees (21.2), Walter Bellamy (20.0), Calbert Cheaney (19.5), Mike Woodson (19.2), Jay Edwards (18.2), Jimmy Rayl (18.0), Joe Cooke (17.3), Dick Van Arsdale (17.2), Tom Bolyard (17.0), Dick Van Arsdale (16.9), Steve Alford (16.8), Joby Wright (16.1), Butch Joyner (15.6), Bob Leonard (15.5), A. J. Guyton (15.2), Vern Payne (14.9), Scott May (14.5), Jared Jeffries (14.4), Eric Anderson (13.9), Steve Downing (13.7), Steve Green (13.5), Rick Calloway (13.2), Kent Benson (12.4), Damon Bailey (11.9), Allen Henderson (11.4), Ray Tolbert (11.1), Andrae Patterson (9.5), Quinn Buckner (9.5), Greg Graham (9.2), Uwe Blab (8.6), Brian Evans (8.1), Randy Wittman (6.9), Ted Kitchel (6.2), Daryl Thomas (4.0). In field goal shooting percentage, Jeffries ranked 22nd out of 34 compiled: Cheaney (.586), Alford (.560), Anderson (.540), Calloway (.538), Blab (.532), Benson (.527), Bellamy (.526), Wittman (.523), Woodson (.522), Daryl Thomas (.515), Green (.514), May (.502), Bailey (.501), Tolbert (.500), Henderson (.498), Greg Graham (.491), Wright (.475), Patterson (.473), Edwards (.465), Joyner (.452), Downing (.451), Jeffries (.450), Dick Van Arsdale (.440), Schlundt (.440), Evans (.440), Tom Van Arsdale (.438), Kitchel (.437), Bolyard (.435), Guyton (.426), Dees (.424), Rayl (.416), Payne (.415), Cooke (.410), Buckner (.394). In free throw shooting Jeffries ranked 28th out of 34 compiled: Alford (.917), Edwards (.847), Dees (.830), Kitchel (.826), Rayl (.807), Guyton (.806), Cheaney (.781), Woodson (.779), Dick Van Arsdale (.769), May (.767), Cooke (.759), Schlundt (.755), Evans (.741), Wittman (.737), Greg Graham (.737), Anderson (.727), Bailey (.727), Green (.724), Patterson (.721), Calloway (.708), Benson (.706), Payne (.706), Joyner (.693), Tolbert (.676), Bolyard (.667), Bellamy (.659), Henderson (.650), Jeffries (.643), Tom Van Arsdale (.632), Daryl Thomas (.602), Buckner (.582), Blab (.575), Wright (.543), Downing (.508). Of all the players in the 1,000-Point Club, only 10 played in the era of the three-point shot. Jeffries ranks 9th of 10 in three-point percentage: Alford (.530), Greg Graham (.439), Cheaney (.438), Bailey (.437), Guyton (.414), Evans (.408), Anderson (.396), Patterson (.326), Jeffries (.325), and Henderson (.231). Case closed. (April 10, 2002) Coach's Healing Tour Awes The Faithful Coach has come and gone, and there was no violence, no loss of life (though the usual souls were sold). The Indianapolis Star and central Indiana television gave us wall-to-wall coverage over the weekend of Coach's Healing Tour, which featured stops to sign copies of His new book in Indianapolis, Bloomington, and Terre Haute. Literally thousands of people attended. Many were quoted In Praise of Him. Some brought young children. Coach blessed them. They came in cars, vans, buses, limousines, on bicycles, motorcycles, unicycles, tricycles. Big Wheels and dune buggies. They came on horseback, on mules, in ox-drawn carts, and on foot. Some choppered in. Oddly enough, apparently no news outlet tallied the numbers of nations, states, cities, and towns they came from, or their faiths, creeds, ethnicity, races, genders, hues, or sexual preferences. We can be sure it was a Diverse Faithful. Reporters, once they regained composure and could speak, described the crowds as peaceful, joyous, worshipful, awed in His Presence. There was a single report of a protester appearing in a downtown Indianapolis store. He was quickly hustled away by authorities before the crowd could tear him limb from limb. Coach Himself, according to the Star's Monday morning report, was observed displaying a "bit of churlishness" at the Bloomington signing. Part of the elaborate procedure for the event involved an assistant Coach was provided. This individual's job was to obtain the names of the people in line, write that name on a slip of paper, and push it in front of Coach so He, Coach, would not have to ask how to spell that person's name when it came time to "personalize" a signature. But, alas, the assistant, apparently weary, produced some slips in handwriting that Coach had trouble reading. Coach became "churlish." He muttered what could only be described as an uncharitable, critical remark. He demanded that it (the illegible handwriting) be fixed. The assistant was replaced by another. The handwriting improved. Coach was satisfied, calmed. A sigh of relief swept the room. Many had feared, it seemed, that Coach was going to erupt and become truly angry. We can imagine their relief when He did not. Legendary Bloomington fan Al Carpenter, age 51, who has attained fame for himself by becoming the most famous fan of them all, and whose name is thus in the Rolodex of every reporter and newspaper person assigned to Cover The Mentor, was there, in Bloomington, and managed to get himself photographed with Coach (although the rules clearly stated that Coach would not pose for pictures) for the front page of the Star this morning. Carpenter also created a stir when he refused to allow a bookstore attendant to take his (Carpenter's) book from the shelf or stack straight over to Coach for signing. Al firmly told an eager reporter that he (Carpenter) "did not want anyone touching the book except for Coach." Later, seeking wisdom, reporters asked Carpenter about Coach's declining so far to utter a syllable of congratulations to His Boys on the Indiana team for their remarkable tourney run. Carpenter calmed the reporter, then told him that "Coach will say something, but in His own good time." That seemed to have a soothing effect, not only on the Sunday crowd, but among churlish Star readers twitching over their Monday morning gruel. (April 8, 2002) Coach is so damned mad at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram for running a front-page story about His son Tim's business practices--Tim's also on the Texas Tech payroll--that He has canceled His appearance at a Fort Worth Public Library benefit co-sponsored by the paper. Normally, Coach and His acolytes make big hay out of his fund-raising for libraries--He got tons of great publicity for it when He was at Indiana University, anyway. But this, well, this is different, somehow, so Coach didn't hesitate to jettison His commitment. Listening to the Indianapolis 500 Mile Race May 26, I happened to hear a broadcaster say, "And now let's go down to Chuck Marlowe in (wherever Chuck was)." And away they went and there was the familiar voice of Chuck, still alive, still an obsequious fawning babbler. A confirmed sighting--the first in several years for this observer! I figured Chuck had joined the rest of them in that great migration south to Lubbock to sit at the feet of The Mentor. Apparently not. I'll bet Chuck calls Coach for advice regularly, though. (May 27, 2002) Dopiness To The Googol Power Indiana University athletic officials have announced a plan to build club seating and luxury suites at Memorial Stadium, where there are roughly 20,000 empty seats at every home football game. Doesn't get much dumber than this. He's A Prick, An Outsider, And He Has Standards--Such Men Are Dangerous New Indiana University athletic director Mike McNeeley has made news recently by letting the word leak out that he was setting goals and expectations for the sports program, and that he intends to hold coaches and their staffs to standards. Many will loathe him for it. He'll make a lot of enemies in Bloomington, particularly among the crowd of genial schmoozers on the Varsity Club veranda. They want to sip their mint juleps and watch golden sunsets rather than bust their asses chasing excellence. McNeeley better never turn his back. (July 1, 2002) IU's Grape Kool-Aid Crowd is said to be deeply pleased that one of Coach's betrayers, Luke Recker, was not drafted in the recent NBA meat market. They remember--as we all do--Luke's saying when he left Indiana that he wanted to be in a program that would enhance his chances of playing in the NBA. Coach's Coyotes are feelin' so smug it's almost unbearable. (July 11, 2002) What's A Day At The Fair Without A Little Kool-Aid? Indianapolis Star columnist Will Higgins brought us the inspiring account this morning of 79-year-old Bob Carroll, who is setting up an In Praise of Coach Booth at the Indiana State Fair. Passersby will be invited to speak words of adulation and encouragement--no negativity allowed, you can be sure--to Coach. These will be recorded and the audiocassettes shipped to KBAM Sports Radio in Lubbock where, Carroll prays, they will be broadcast to the yearning West Texas multitudes hanging around Texas Tech worshipping Coach. And of course a private set will be given to Coach Himself. Carroll also plans use his Fair venue to launch the Indiana Double T Club so Coach's worshippers still living in Indiana will have a flag around which to rally. Last Fall Carroll sponsored an All Hail Coach Day at an Eastside Senior Citizens Center. Five persons, according to Higgins, showed up. One minor mystery in all this: Higgins reports that Carroll's booth will be set up "outside the swine barn." Wonder if Higgins found Carroll's unwittingly perfect choice of site as beautiful as we did. (August 12, 2002) Kissing The Ring. . . Steve Alford was sighted on the ground in West Texas recently, where he was believed to have gone to seek counsel and absolution from Coach. This should end any speculation that Steve is a man of rectitude and principles. (August 10, 2002) Alford himself confirmed his Lubbock pilgrimmage, telling reporter Rob Howe of the Iowa City Press-Citizen that "It was an incredible three days both personally and professionally. I came home with 36 pages of notes." Howe noted that Coach and Steve's relationship had been "tenuous" in recent years until Steve broke the ice and called Coach last January. Steve said he not only got coaching advice--the old "X's and O's"--but personal guidance from The Mentor, as well. Alford joined Coach in an interview on Fox TV, and those who saw it were struck by the shower of compliments Alford rained on Coach. "You want to have a good relationship with someone who's meant so much to me," Alford said. Scott May, Jr., has quietly slipped out of town and off the IU basketball roster, according to reports leaking out of Bloomington in late August. Young May is the son of Scott May, who played on Indiana's national champions in 1976. Young Scott was recruited as a walk-on at IU after averaging 7.5 points for his high school team, but more importantly, because he was the older brother of Sean May, one of the nation's most highly-recruited players who IU desperately wanted to land. Sean chose North Carolina instead and when that happened, the charade with Scott Jr. no longer had a shred of justification. Scott Jr. is transferring to Division II's University of Southern Indiana. Good. (August 26, 2002) Coach has settled with one of His Tormentors, Ron Felling, for a piddly $25,000. (Felling had sued Coach, charging assault.) Coach also agreed not to contest Felling's use of certain witness statements sealed under court order when it comes time for Ron's $1 million lawsuit against Indiana University to go forward. Coach also agreed to give a statement, apparently Coach's version of what went on that fateful day in Felling's office (December 1, 1999) to Ron's lawyer in the IU case. Felling's attorney told the Indianapolis Star how happy Ron was to have this settlement, but did not disclose what portion of it would be eaten up by attorney fees. It is alleged that Ron's suit against IU is still "alive." The only puzzler here is how Coach got off so cheap. (September 4, 2002) The Buck Suhr Conundrum Buck Suhr, a rarity in the coterie of flacks broadcasting Indiana University sports for his occasional bursts of candor, was quietly fired over the summer. He has been replaced on the football broadcast team by Danny Thompson, a former IU football player with little to no radio experience. No explanation has been given for the move and no one associated with the broadcasts will utter a peep about it. Suhr, a former coach, wasn't Red Barber, but he was sometimes brutally honest about what he was witnessing onfield, and he had a sense of humor and sufficient background to offer valid insights about the game. I've listened to his replacement, Thompson, for one game, and can assure you Thompson wasn't hired because he was more qualified or more talented than Suhr. The Silver Fox has been assigned to ferret out the truth on the Buck Suhr Conundrum. (September 8, 2002) All Hail 9/10! But hey! September 11 will be a downer but we get a joyous celebration the day before. For September 10 is the two-year anniversary of The Canning Of Coach!! So let's get the brass bands marching in our neighborhoods bright and early. Let's take the kids and grandkids out for an ice cream cone. Take 'em to the park and tell them stories of the olden days when Coach Ruled The World And Terrorized The Countryside. Let's tell them of the courageous, leather-balled Myles, who rode, after three decades of fear and trembling and dithering in high places, to the rescue 9/10/2000 and cut off Coach's and Banished Him To The Outer Darkness, Which Later Became Lubbock. Let's tell them how at last the people came to be free. And let's forever hail Ron Felling, without whose videotape this would never have happened. For the historical record, George McGinnis, who played one brief shining season of Indiana University basketball in the early 1970s, compiled these statistics in 11 professional seasons with the Philadelphia 76ers, Denver Nuggets, and Indiana Pacers: ABA (Pacers): 25.2 points per game, field goal shooting percentage of .470, free throw percentage of .682, and 12.9 rebounds per game; NBA (76ers, Nuggets, Pacers): 17.2 points per game, field goal percentage of .448, free throw percentage of .651, and 9.8 rebounds per game. Combined, George scored 17,009 points for an average of 20.2 per game, and grabbed 9,235 rebounds in 842 pro games for a 10.97 per game average. He was a three-time NBA all-star. (September 9, 2002) Antwaan Randle-El made his NFL debut September 9. I turned eagerly to my September 10 Indianapolis Star sports section looking for a report on how the ex-Indiana University quarterback did. Nothing there, and nothing in any issue the rest of the week, either. Getting the "local angle" on such a story is a childishly simple concept in journalism. Apparently it never occurred to the Star's sports editors and writers that the billions and billions and billions of IU alumni and fans around Indianapolis and the state would be interested. Luckily the Chicago Tribune knew there was a local angle. Randle-El is from the Chicago area and starred in high school sports there. Its report noted that Antwaan completed his only pass for five yards, rushed one time for 9 yards, returned two punts for 9 yards and caught six passes for 87 yards. Waiting For The Other Arms And Legs To Drop Lawyers for Indiana University and Coach have agreed on a one-month extension of the two-year Statue of Limitations (you know, the one with no arms or nose) so they can try to reach a settlement of Coach's Threatened Big Lawsuit For Billions And Billions And Billions Of Dollars In Damages For Crimes Committed Against Him And His Family By The University. The statue expired September 10. The new deadline is October 10, 2002. The Indianapolis Star's article about this indicates Coach's initial demands seem to have shriveled with time (and, one deduces, with the intrusion of reality). But nuffin's ever over till it's over, so best wait till the rest of the arms and legs drop off the statue. (September 10, 2000) A Piercing Insight I've struggled mightily over the years to find words to describe Indiana University football, with no special success. It's comforting to know that others are trying, too. In late September one of them--known only as Sam Flenner of Indianapolis--gave it a shot in a letter to the editor of the Indianapolis Star. Sam referenced in his missile a public debate about a possible extension of Interstate 69 through southern Indiana, and offered this wry retort: "A recent letter to the editor said access to Indiana University football was a reason for the new-terrain I-69 (proposal). In reality, IU football is more of a reason to shut off all access to Monroe and its surrounding counties, relocating the school, all residents and businesses, and allowing the entire area to grow back into the beautiful wilderness it once was." I think Sam's just about nailed it! (September 25, 2002) Ohio State's offensive line outweighed Indiana's by an average of 45 pounds per man September 28 when the two teams played in Columbus, Ohio. Ohio State won, 45-17. Years ago Indiana football coach Peewilly Lockjaw downplayed such size differences favoring opponents. He much preferred, he said, to recruit smaller, faster, more agile players. This was code for: IU could not recruit big monsters. Lockjaw's collection of runts got plastered most of the time, like runts always do. Now it's 2002 and our beloved boys are still fleas against enemy rhinos nearly every Saturday. Some things never change and IU football is one of them. (September 28, 2002) Brand Belongs On Mt. Rushmore Myles Brand's resignation as president of Indiana University brought out the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd, clucking and sneering about the man who fired the icon god, Bob Knight. Brand is accepting a position as the chief executive of the NCAA at a salary said to be several times his IU stipend. Newspaper columns were aflutter with opinions, speculation and reflection on Brand's work at IU. If Brand never did a thing at Indiana except fire Bob Knight, he rendered heroic and unparalleled service to the university and to humanity, for which he should be revered through all eternity. They should put up a statue in his honor on campus. Steve Alford's had a run of off-season bad news--recruits in trouble with the law, players in trouble and transferring--in his Iowa basketball program. Iowa fans are said to be restless and upset over Steve's mediocre results in the last couple of years. Some have even expressed sympathy for the young Hawkeye mentor. I don't feel sorry for Steve, not one bit. My admiration for him has gone way down in light of his recent declarations of fealty--including a vomit-inducing ESPN interview last spring with Coach--to his former college coach at Indiana, Bob Knight. This (Steve) is a man who we've been told for decades has built his entire life on his Christian faith, on rectitude, honor, decency, politeness, good manners, kindness to others. Steve has been presented as a pure, clean-limbed, Boy Scout and All-American boy, a lad of God. For him to affiliate himself with a man like Knight is, I'm sorry, a contradiction of what Alford claims to be. Alford has either abandoned what he claims his life has been built upon or he is a howling hypocrite. This has nothing to do, I hasten to add, with the way Alford played basketball at Indiana University. That I greatly admire. For the historical record, Indiana University has added two walk-ons to its men's basketball team for the 2002-2003 season: 6-7 Joe Harmaan (Cincinnati) and 6-8 Jason Stewart from Edwardsport (North Knox High School). (October 17, 2002) IU Bags First Hyphenated Male Basketballer IU's first and only basketball recruit so far for the Fall of 2003 is Jessan Gray-Ashley, described as a 6-9 (though he's sure to shrink by the time he arrives on campus) power forward weighing 210 pounds. He is from Davenport, Iowa, and is not on anyone's Top This or That lists at this point. The Star's account indicated Indiana stole Jessan from the likes of Iowa (which, according to sources close to the bowels of the Hawkeye program, was decidedly not interested in him), Creighton, Bowling Green, Nebraska, Alabama State, and Indiana State. Unremarked in all this is this landmark: Jessan is the first male basketball recruit in Indiana history bearing a hyphenated last name. Hyphens typically spell a certain "edge" when encountered in a female; it will be fascinating to see what Jessan's hyphen bring us. (November 11, 2002) The Star can't seem to let go of Coach, stop rubbing Him in our faces, or our faces in Him. This morning's edition carried a sports front page feature on how happy Coach is in Lubbock, how happy everyone down there is to have Him, how well things are going for Him, how the old fire is still there and how He really, really, really wants to coach, and how, per his adoring oldest son, Pat, Coach may coach forever because He loves coaching so much and is so happy down there. I can't for the life of me figure out why the Star feels it still has to cater to the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd, but apparently it does. (November 20, 2002) Perhaps the best football player on Indiana University's sorry team, freshman linebacker John Kerr, has announced he will transfer to another school. Coach Gerry DiNardo issued a terse, two-sentence cinfirmation. Otherwise, radio silence. Some felt this is a terrible blow. Kerr's team-leading 114 tackles will be made, to the extent that next year's team makes any tackles at all, by someone else. Kerr's absence will not be noticed. He probably feels he can further his chances for a pro career by playing at a legitimate big-time program. The odds say he is wrong if he believes he'll ever play as a professional. They say he's right if he believes he will play for a better football program by transferring almost anywhere.This is a non-event for IU football. (December 5, 2002) Brandian Disconnect. . . "Michael McNeeley came in with extraordinary credentials. His interpersonal skills are excellent. He did a lot of good things for the university in terms of branding the athletic program. He did a superb job, and a very difficult job." --Myles Brand, outgoing Indiana University President, quoted in the November 25 Indianapolis Business Journal, when asked how he, Brand, would assess the brief (20 months) tenure of Michael McNeeley, the man he hired as athletic director (McNeeley was fired several months ago after alienating almost everyone in the university family, and his tenure was by nearly all (non-Brandian) accounts a major disaster). Something's Right WithThe World--Ray Tolbert Can Still Dunk! Where Are They Now Department: Ray Tolbert, the wonderfully likeable center on Indiana University's 1981 NCAA basetball champions, is now an ordained minister working as sports and recreation director at the East 91st Street Church in Indianapolis, and is happy as a clam about it. This encouraging news came from a Louisville Courier-Journal feature story December 23. "And I can still dunk," he joyously told sports reporter Michael Grant. (December 23, 2002) Nonjudgmentalism And Weak Knees Still Seem To Trump Everything In Bloomington Indiana University pooh-bahs continue to have trouble getting it right. After basketball coach Mike Davis got national attention--plus two technical fouls and ejected from the game--for storming on-court at the end of the Indiana-Kentucky game December 21, IU officials shuffled their feet, looked at the floor and waited around for polls to tell them which way the wind was blowing. Finally the Big Ten stepped in and proposed a suspension for Davis, to which the University agreed (one game suspension and a written apology to the officials). Davis's outburst brought forth critics who asked what had happened to the University's famous "zero tolerance" policy--the one imposed 29 years late by then-president Myles Brand and which soon after resulted in Indiana firing basketball Coach Bob Knight in September, 2000. They had a point. Indiana's acting athletic director, Terry Clapacs, downplayed Davis' behavior and never issued any strong criticism of it, and the University failed to step in forcefully and take action of its own. The school's weak handling of the matter leaves the impression that nobody in charge of anything there is capable of forcefully dealing with matters like this. (December 30, 2002) Back to top
©2010 Twitfits.com