1998 | Indiana University Sports

Who Was That Masked Crotch-Grabber, Anyway?

It had to be a mere coincidence that just around the time of The Most Recent Unpleasantness involving Slick Willie, Indiana University's intrepid investigators announced that a female university professor's claim that a varsity football player grabbed his crotch in front of a class in a lewd gesture directed at the teacher was "unsubstantiated" and that no disciplinary action would be needed. The university, exquisitely concerned as always with fiercely protecting human rights, refused to identify the crotch-grabber. It was revealed, though, that the lad "received a warning for disrupting class" even though no one could substantiate that he did. (January 25, 1998)

I listened to about 20 minutes of The Bob Knight Show on radio Monday evening February 2. On this program, host and longtime IU broadcaster Don Fischer reads questions over the phone to Coach, who appears to be at a remote location--believed to be either his home, his Assembly Hall office, or a Bloomington restaurant. Fischer collects the questions by telephone, by mail, then screens and reads them on-air (Knight long ago ceased talking to live callers). Knight and Fischer dispatched about a dozen questions while I listened. Knight answered every single question with sarcastic, insulting, smart-alecky comments. With many, his answer was curt, extremely brief. There were lame jokes, snide remarks about IU fans who criticize the program and Coach, and a potshot at departed center Jason Collier, who quit the team before Christmas. Fischer, in his role of house lackey, laughed continually during the segment. There were occasional odd pauses between Don's questions. Several times Coach's answers were muffled, as though Coach was eating while Don read and then had to swallow quickly in order to reply. I heard sounds in the background like dishes clinking and rattling, even thought I faintly heard other conversation. The following night I chanced upon WLW radio in Cincinnati, where hosts Chris Collinsworth and Andy Furman were interviewing Knight. I listened for about 15 minutes. During the entire time, Coach was polite, fully responsive to all questions, gregarious, charming, and totally without the sarcasm and ugly tone which permeated the previous night's program. His answers on WLW were thorough and interesting, and when it was over, Knight warmly thanked the two WLW chaps for an enjoyable time. What could account for the 180-degree difference in these two appearances? (February 3, 1998)

Brand-Walda Bull Issued

By merest coincidence, Indiana University president Myles Brand and John Walda, president of the university's board of trustees, co-authored a passionate defense of Bob Knight which appeared in the February 2 Indianapolis Star. They accused the media of "often not getting the story right", of unfairly criticizing Coach, of acting as judge and jury. They stoutly defended IU's graduation rates. They lauded Knight for the discipline he insists upon from his players ( but conveniently avoided addressing the lack of personal discipline in Knight himself). They cited the many accomplishments and proud moments Knight's teams have provided. Brand said he was not aware of a single former player who has graduated from Indiana who isn't "grateful to Coach Knight. . ." Brand-Walda challenged the media and public to define the "unacceptable behavior" Knight's critics cite. They made it clear that nothing Knight has ever done while at IU would be unacceptable behavior to them. Dipping deep into their well-traveled bag of euphemisms, Brand-Walda conceded that there have been instances of "strong emotion" expressed by Coach and "moments that have drawn widespread attention," but added that "none (of these moments or emotions) have been so egregious as to have lost the support of Indiana University--despite media suggestions to the contrary." Certainly, no one doubts that latter. Knight's defenders, including his putative bosses, Brand and athletic director Clarence Doninger, have been unswerving in their devotion and support. Brand-Walda's screed, however, did nothing but set up straw men and knock them down. It addressed only issues on which no one truly criticizes Knight: graduation rates, recruiting only fine young men, insisting upon discipline and good behavior from his players, running a clean program, and so forth. Even Knight's harshest critics don't complain about these things. The things they do complain about--Knight's abusive treatment of other human beings, both within and outside the University, his insufferable, surly arrogance and incivility, his use of vile, foul language in public--were never addressed by Brand-Walda. It is a great big wonderful free country and Brand-Walda and the Kool-Aid Crowd have as much right to speak their mind as the critics do. The two sides will never reconcile. Many will find it quite odd, though, that a university president felt compelled to write such an article in the first place. The presidents at Purdue, North Carolina, Duke, Kansas, and other highly regarded universities don't feel compelled to defend their coaches. It's unfortunate Brand does. (February 3, 1998)

A mere two days after the Brand-Walda Bull was nailed to the Star's op-ed door, Indiana soundly pummeled Penn State. One of the ink-stained wretches in Coach's post-game press humiliation conference asked Knight for a reaction to this show of support. Knight said he appreciated it and that (I nearly quote verbatim here) "anyone who can't support what we've done here, what our kids have been able to accomplish over the years, has got to be a moron." It seems obvious Coach still doesn't get it, doesn't have a clue to what the critics, destroyers and negativists object to. What part of the word "asshole" doesn't he understand? (February 6, 1998)

Promoters are trying to set up a nine-year series of showcase games between the Atlantic Coast Conference and the Big Ten. Everyone in the Big Ten except Indiana and Ohio State is said to be in favor of the "challenge".games. Indiana's athletic director Clarence Doninger told the Indianapolis Star's Mark Ambrogi that Indiana "already has a solid schedule" and used IU's annual big game with Kentucky as an example. "We'd probably like to figure out our own challenge," Doninger added, "where we decide who we play instead of being told who we're going to play. It has to be a good fit for us. We don't lack for high-profile games." This is code for: IU is not interested in taking on any more top-rank opponents, particularly not when the basketball program has fared as poorly against them as it has since the past four or five years. And Doninger's remarks about the "good fit" sound suspiciously like the arrogant, pious nonsense we hear from Notre Dame when it has a disappointing season and doesn't get its pick of the top football bowl games. It would be so much easier for all of us if Clarence would just be honest about this. But we can say this: the more this man reveals of his thought process in public, the bigger jerk he reveals himself to be. (February 25, 1998)

IU basketball freshman Luke Recker is quoted in the March 1 Chicago Tribune stoutly defending his coach, Bob Knight. " I don't think anybody has the right to criticize Coach Knight," Recker said. Luke, we love ya, you're Every Mother's Son, but you're full of baloney on this one. Sorry. (March 1, 1998)

Mysteries Of The Universe: Why Does Don Keep Coming Back For More?

I listened to more of the Bob Knight Show on the radio tonight. I heard about 25 minutes' worth, covering approximately a dozen questions. My amazement continues. Again there were long, odd, never-explained pauses. Host Don Fischer would ask a question: silence. Sometimes Coach would start an answer, then stop. More silence. There was background noise which sounded like silverware scraping or being set down on a plate. Coach interrupted Don as he was reading one question, told Don to hold it right there, told Don and the audience that the premise on which the question was based was wrong. Coach then noted that many people were operating with incorrect information, and many statements made (presumably about IU basketball) had no basis in fact. Later Coach interrupted Don at least three times as Don tried to finish one question and move to another question. Finally Don stopped and waited. Then Coach said nothing. Coach asked Don to repeat one question. Several times Don sounded as if he were puzzled about what to do next. After one interruption followed by silence, Don finally said, "Coach, do you have any more comments?" More silence. Don chuckled uncomfortably, then went on reading the next question. About half of Coach's answers were curt, smart-alecky or sarcastic. None of the questions read by Fischer carried even the slightest hint of animosity, and it is safe to assume that the questioners themselves bore Knight no ill-feelings. Indeed, it is practically guaranteed that all the callers were in fact deeply worshipful of Knight. Yet he treated their questions--which were sincere, naive, trusting, genuine--with contempt and disrespect. The money must be awfully easy or awfully huge for Fischer to put up with being insulted on this show week after week. What insistent demon possesses Knight to make him treat innocent people this way? He abuses even Fischer, a certified lapdog of the first order. What's wrong with him? Why do people continue to call in to be insulted? Doesn't it occur to anyone at station WNAP that insulting listeners isn't a sound business practice? I just don't get it. I don't get it at all. (March 9, 1998)

Last night I channel-surfed across a brief sports news feature on a Bob Knight press conference at the NCAA's East Regional in Wonderland, D.C. The cameras stayed on Knight for three or four questions. Each Knight answer was smart-alecky, surly, or both. The wonder is that any journalists at all show up for these things. Any self-respecting news person, confronted with Knight's presence, would get up and leave the room. Yet they keep attending, keep asking questions, and by so doing grant legitimacy to this absurd, grotesque, sour turd of a man. What's wrong with them? What's wrong with him? What terrible demon gnaws at Knight's innards and causes him to be such a flamer? (March 13, 1998)

Garl's Spin: They're In Poor Condition When They Arrive

IU basketball trainer Tim Garl joined genial host Chuck "The Babbler" Marlowe for the season finale Sunday of the Bob Knight Show. Between them they reached new lows of absurdity, and for this show that's something. Chuck and Tim reminisced about happier days in IU basketball. Tim said one of the big problems with IU basketball during the Recent Five-Year Unpleasantness has been the highly-touted athletes who come to Bloomington in insufficient physical condition. It's obvious, Tim said, that for many of them IU is their first exposure to weight training. Some in the audience found that a peculiar claim, since many high schools have excellent weight training facilities, the concept of such training is widely accepted throughout the country, and other teams always seem to have enough big strong chaps in uniform. Cynics wondered if perhaps the IU problem isn't just crappy recruiting instead. Chuck never challenged Tim's assertions, though, so heretics are left floundering in still another deep mystery. Once Coach comes back on the show he'll clear all this up for us. (March 22, 1998)

A high school senior from Alabama, Kei Madison, has announced he'll be joining the Indiana University basketball program. Madison, a 6-8, 200-pound "small forward," told eager reporters he was academically qualified, but within 24 hours his coach, Charles Dickinson, said he was not. The following day it was announced that Madison would be going to prep school, where, it may be devoutly wished, he will quietly disappear. Indiana won the recruiting battle for the lad's services over such big-time programs as Alabama-Birmingham, and unidentified junior colleges in Florida, Alabama, and Texas. The next day it was reported in the Star that Madison was indeed academically ineligible. Somebody tell the kid and the brilliantly sleuthing IU coaching staff, please. He's probably already penciled in as a starter. (April 9, 1998)

Meanwhile, Oscar Robertson, one of basketball's all-time greats, was interviewed in the Indianapolis Star to promote his new book. Staff writer Marc Allen got around to asking Robertson what he thought about the Most Recent Unpleasantness Involving Indiana Coach Bob Knight, in which the irascible Mentor was given three technical fouls, ejected from the game, and later fined $10,000 by the NCAA. Robertson's view of it was dim. "I don't blame Bobby Knight for any of that," he said. "You know who I blame? The college president. If he sees a student do something like that, what would he do? So obviously, he's letting Bobby Knight get away with that." Well, yes, Oscar, he certainly is.

Pat Hired

Pat Knight's long, determined march to the head basketball coaching job at Indiana University continues. Pat, son of the legendary Mentor, Bob Knight, has taken a coaching position in Columbus, Ohio, with the Columbus Cagerz of the U.S. Basketball League. Who among seasoned IU and Bob Knight watchers would bet money that this is but a prelude to young Pat getting an assistant's job at IU under his dad, then inheriting the throne after a few years' seasoning? Preposterous, you say? Never underestimate The Mentor's power to have His way, nor the perversity of His many lackeys--Myles, Clarence, Chuck, Gregg, Norm, the board of trustees and all the rest of the Kool-Aid Crowd schmoozing and clucking out on the veranda, juleps in hand, feet up on the railing as a gorgeous sunset bathes them in the golden glow of smug self-satisfaction and denial. This--the Coronation of Pat--would be the crowning touch, the ultimate coup for them all. Keep a close watch, friends. (May 1, 1998)

Let's Offer That Man An Assistant's Job At Indiana University!

Eastern New Mexico University's men's basketball coach, Earl Diddle (no kidding), resigned last week after being accused of grabbing a player's crotch. (May 10, 1998)

Pat Fired

Pat Knight, legendary son of Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight, has been fired as coach of the Columbus (Ohio) Cagerz of the United States Basketball league. Young Patrick came to the Cagers after a season as coach of the Wisconsin Blast of the International Basketball Assn. At Columbus, his team had a 4-7 record. Don't be surprised if Pat is offered a suddenly available assistant's position at Indiana. A few years of grooming there and Pat will be ready to succeed his father.

Pat Hired

The Father's Day issue of the Indianapolis Star carried the news that Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight--The Mentor--has hired his son, Patrick, as an assistant coach. Joy erupted in full cry among the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd across Hoosierland. The move is the latest in a brilliant counter-offensive by the elder Knight against the destroyers, negativists, and traitors who have been increasingly critical of Knight in recent years and who even were so bold as to boo young Knight when he played at Indiana in the early 1990s. Father and son both expressed bitterness at the criticism, and it was well known that Coach had nursed a festering, bilious anger at what he regarded as traitorous fans who turned against Him and his basketball program. Bringing back his son Patrick, who clearly is qualified only because of patrimony, is a brilliant stroke of vindictiveness against the enemy. Being able to again rub a son in their faces --after torturing IU fans for five years by giving his utterly unqualified son a scholarship as a player--has to be the finest Father's Day present this sick, tortured, ugly, arrogant mess of a human being could ever receive. Thus is completed Phase I of Knight's grand scheme. Phase II is projected to take three to five years and will culminate in the coronation of Patrick Knight to replace his father as head basketball coach at IU. All Hail Coach! All Hail Pat! All Hail the New Millenium! (June 21, 1998)

IU's new assistant basketball coach Pat Knight, The Mentor's Son, wasted no time hitting the recruiting trail hard by calling Faruk Mujezinovic, a 6-8 Bosnian playing high school basketball in Jasper, Indiana, and the brother of recently graduated IU player, Haris Mujezinovic. The Indianapolis Star quoted Faruk saying he's "still undecided (whether) to go to a small school or a mid-major." This tells us far more than we want to know, but confirms what we know, anyway, about IU basketball, namely that (1) IU is continuing to recruit at a talent level far below what it needs to be competitive nationally or even in the Big Ten, and (2) Faruk apparently regards IU as no better than a "mid-major" school and questions his own ability to play even at that level. He's right on both counts. (July 9, 1998) (Post-Script: Young Mujezinovic later accepted a scholarship offer at the University of Evansville.)

Tough Choice: Slick Or Coach?

A co-conspirator recently asked me: Who do you dislike the most--Bob Knight or Bill Clinton? I thought for a moment, then told him my loathing for them is about equal. Knight is a world-class asshole, Clinton a world-class scumbag. Knight is, from all available evidence, a man of his word. Slick's word is worthless. Slick is sleazy; Knight is not. Knight is said to be loyal to his friends. Slick willingly sacrifices his friends whenever it's convenient. Knight has a mean, ugly, vicious side frequently on display. Clinton rarely displays even a hint of these qualities. Both are cunning, masters at manipulating people and situations to their benefit. Knight at least knows what he believes in. Slick Willie believes in whatever the polls tell him is the hot-button of the moment. Slick has no inner core, no guiding principles; Knight does. Knight's asshole-ness, however, is of such titanic proportions that for me it outweighs all his good qualities. Clinton has few discernible good qualities. It's a toss-up.

Indiana University announcer Don Fischer described a mistake by the IU football team in its game with Kentucky Saturday as "one little faux pas." But poor Don pronounced it "fooo pah." (September 20, 1998)

Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight offered some ideas about how to clean up college recruiting during a late October pre-season Big Ten meeting. He wants coaches restricted to evaluating athletes only in the student's high school gym under the supervision of the high school coach, or in regularly scheduled games. No more scouting or schmoozing at summer camps, AAU games and the like. Behind Knight's noble-sounding advice, though, are unpleasant facts: Knight hates recruiting and has done a mediocre job at it in recent years. What he proposes would hamper aggressive coaches who work hard at recruiting, by bringing them back to Knight's level. (November 11, 1998)

Incredible Shrinking Cagers

The plague of shrinking IU basketball players continues. Last spring it was announced that Lynn Washington, a 6-8 junior college transfer from California, was coming to Indiana. By late summer rumors were floating that Washington was "more Charlie Miller's size," or even a little bit bigger, around 6-7, in other words. When Indiana's first pre-season exhibition was shown on television it was obvious Washington was not 6-8. More like 6-5, I thought at the time. During the TV broadcast of the second pre-season game, broadcaster Ted Kitchel said Washington looked about 6-5 to him. So far we have a net loss on Washington of three inches. But an Indianapolis Star article November 6 by Terry Hutchens described Washington as a "6-7 JC transfer. . ." There are several other shrinkers on the current IU roster. Jarrad Odle was 6-9 in high school, but now is 6-8. Center Kirk Haston was 6-11 in high school and is now 6-10. Mike Lewis, a sophomore guard and 6-3 in high school, is now between 6-0 and 6-1. And so it continues. Where is the national board of standards college basketball needs to stop this nonsense? (November 11, 1998)

Chuck Marlowe is reported to have conspiratorially confided to a breakfast guest earlier in November that "Bobby" says this year's IU basketball team is different from those of the last four or five years--this one is "mentally tough." Chuck assured his guest that "Bobby has decided to personally handle recruiting from now on" and that as a result IU is now starting to get "some of the best players in the country." Chuck cited George Leach, the 6-11 center (who'll no doubt be 6-8 or so when he reports to Bloomington) from Blowfly, North Carolina, as an example. "Everyone was after this boy," Chuck is said to have said. My extensive reading on IU recruiting, however, never uncovered any mention of North Carolina, Duke, Kansas, UCLA, Kentucky, Michigan, or Arizona--to name a handful of top-rank programs--ever chasing Leach. My guess is Chuck's hallucinating again. (November 22, 1998)

During the December 20 broadcast of the IU-San Francisco basketball game, broadcaster Ted Kitchel noted that San Francisco forward Terrence Moore was listed at 6-7 and 250 pounds. "The 250 pounds looks right," Kitch noted, "but he looks more like 6-4 or 6-5 to me." Is this a clue that other schools suffer from the Incredible Shrinking Player syndrome, too?

	Scoundrels, Knaves & Fools American Pile Whoops & Squawks Splinters From the Bench Indiana University Sports Lists & Other Minutiae Contact the author	2009 \| 2008 \| 2007 \| 2006 \| 2005 \| 2004 \| 2003 \| 2002 \| 2001 \| 2000 \| 1999 \| 1998 \| 1997 \| 1996 \| 1995 \| Pre-1995 Indiana University Sports Who Was That Masked Crotch-Grabber, Anyway? It had to be a mere coincidence that just around the time of The Most Recent Unpleasantness involving Slick Willie, Indiana University's intrepid investigators announced that a female university professor's claim that a varsity football player grabbed his crotch in front of a class in a lewd gesture directed at the teacher was "unsubstantiated" and that no disciplinary action would be needed. The university, exquisitely concerned as always with fiercely protecting human rights, refused to identify the crotch-grabber. It was revealed, though, that the lad "received a warning for disrupting class" even though no one could substantiate that he did. (January 25, 1998) I listened to about 20 minutes of The Bob Knight Show on radio Monday evening February 2. On this program, host and longtime IU broadcaster Don Fischer reads questions over the phone to Coach, who appears to be at a remote location--believed to be either his home, his Assembly Hall office, or a Bloomington restaurant. Fischer collects the questions by telephone, by mail, then screens and reads them on-air (Knight long ago ceased talking to live callers). Knight and Fischer dispatched about a dozen questions while I listened. Knight answered every single question with sarcastic, insulting, smart-alecky comments. With many, his answer was curt, extremely brief. There were lame jokes, snide remarks about IU fans who criticize the program and Coach, and a potshot at departed center Jason Collier, who quit the team before Christmas. Fischer, in his role of house lackey, laughed continually during the segment. There were occasional odd pauses between Don's questions. Several times Coach's answers were muffled, as though Coach was eating while Don read and then had to swallow quickly in order to reply. I heard sounds in the background like dishes clinking and rattling, even thought I faintly heard other conversation. The following night I chanced upon WLW radio in Cincinnati, where hosts Chris Collinsworth and Andy Furman were interviewing Knight. I listened for about 15 minutes. During the entire time, Coach was polite, fully responsive to all questions, gregarious, charming, and totally without the sarcasm and ugly tone which permeated the previous night's program. His answers on WLW were thorough and interesting, and when it was over, Knight warmly thanked the two WLW chaps for an enjoyable time. What could account for the 180-degree difference in these two appearances? (February 3, 1998) Brand-Walda Bull Issued By merest coincidence, Indiana University president Myles Brand and John Walda, president of the university's board of trustees, co-authored a passionate defense of Bob Knight which appeared in the February 2 Indianapolis Star. They accused the media of "often not getting the story right", of unfairly criticizing Coach, of acting as judge and jury. They stoutly defended IU's graduation rates. They lauded Knight for the discipline he insists upon from his players ( but conveniently avoided addressing the lack of personal discipline in Knight himself). They cited the many accomplishments and proud moments Knight's teams have provided. Brand said he was not aware of a single former player who has graduated from Indiana who isn't "grateful to Coach Knight. . ." Brand-Walda challenged the media and public to define the "unacceptable behavior" Knight's critics cite. They made it clear that nothing Knight has ever done while at IU would be unacceptable behavior to them. Dipping deep into their well-traveled bag of euphemisms, Brand-Walda conceded that there have been instances of "strong emotion" expressed by Coach and "moments that have drawn widespread attention," but added that "none (of these moments or emotions) have been so egregious as to have lost the support of Indiana University--despite media suggestions to the contrary." Certainly, no one doubts that latter. Knight's defenders, including his putative bosses, Brand and athletic director Clarence Doninger, have been unswerving in their devotion and support. Brand-Walda's screed, however, did nothing but set up straw men and knock them down. It addressed only issues on which no one truly criticizes Knight: graduation rates, recruiting only fine young men, insisting upon discipline and good behavior from his players, running a clean program, and so forth. Even Knight's harshest critics don't complain about these things. The things they do complain about--Knight's abusive treatment of other human beings, both within and outside the University, his insufferable, surly arrogance and incivility, his use of vile, foul language in public--were never addressed by Brand-Walda. It is a great big wonderful free country and Brand-Walda and the Kool-Aid Crowd have as much right to speak their mind as the critics do. The two sides will never reconcile. Many will find it quite odd, though, that a university president felt compelled to write such an article in the first place. The presidents at Purdue, North Carolina, Duke, Kansas, and other highly regarded universities don't feel compelled to defend their coaches. It's unfortunate Brand does. (February 3, 1998) A mere two days after the Brand-Walda Bull was nailed to the Star's op-ed door, Indiana soundly pummeled Penn State. One of the ink-stained wretches in Coach's post-game press humiliation conference asked Knight for a reaction to this show of support. Knight said he appreciated it and that (I nearly quote verbatim here) "anyone who can't support what we've done here, what our kids have been able to accomplish over the years, has got to be a moron." It seems obvious Coach still doesn't get it, doesn't have a clue to what the critics, destroyers and negativists object to. What part of the word "asshole" doesn't he understand? (February 6, 1998) Promoters are trying to set up a nine-year series of showcase games between the Atlantic Coast Conference and the Big Ten. Everyone in the Big Ten except Indiana and Ohio State is said to be in favor of the "challenge".games. Indiana's athletic director Clarence Doninger told the Indianapolis Star's Mark Ambrogi that Indiana "already has a solid schedule" and used IU's annual big game with Kentucky as an example. "We'd probably like to figure out our own challenge," Doninger added, "where we decide who we play instead of being told who we're going to play. It has to be a good fit for us. We don't lack for high-profile games." This is code for: IU is not interested in taking on any more top-rank opponents, particularly not when the basketball program has fared as poorly against them as it has since the past four or five years. And Doninger's remarks about the "good fit" sound suspiciously like the arrogant, pious nonsense we hear from Notre Dame when it has a disappointing season and doesn't get its pick of the top football bowl games. It would be so much easier for all of us if Clarence would just be honest about this. But we can say this: the more this man reveals of his thought process in public, the bigger jerk he reveals himself to be. (February 25, 1998) IU basketball freshman Luke Recker is quoted in the March 1 Chicago Tribune stoutly defending his coach, Bob Knight. " I don't think anybody has the right to criticize Coach Knight," Recker said. Luke, we love ya, you're Every Mother's Son, but you're full of baloney on this one. Sorry. (March 1, 1998) Mysteries Of The Universe: Why Does Don Keep Coming Back For More? I listened to more of the Bob Knight Show on the radio tonight. I heard about 25 minutes' worth, covering approximately a dozen questions. My amazement continues. Again there were long, odd, never-explained pauses. Host Don Fischer would ask a question: silence. Sometimes Coach would start an answer, then stop. More silence. There was background noise which sounded like silverware scraping or being set down on a plate. Coach interrupted Don as he was reading one question, told Don to hold it right there, told Don and the audience that the premise on which the question was based was wrong. Coach then noted that many people were operating with incorrect information, and many statements made (presumably about IU basketball) had no basis in fact. Later Coach interrupted Don at least three times as Don tried to finish one question and move to another question. Finally Don stopped and waited. Then Coach said nothing. Coach asked Don to repeat one question. Several times Don sounded as if he were puzzled about what to do next. After one interruption followed by silence, Don finally said, "Coach, do you have any more comments?" More silence. Don chuckled uncomfortably, then went on reading the next question. About half of Coach's answers were curt, smart-alecky or sarcastic. None of the questions read by Fischer carried even the slightest hint of animosity, and it is safe to assume that the questioners themselves bore Knight no ill-feelings. Indeed, it is practically guaranteed that all the callers were in fact deeply worshipful of Knight. Yet he treated their questions--which were sincere, naive, trusting, genuine--with contempt and disrespect. The money must be awfully easy or awfully huge for Fischer to put up with being insulted on this show week after week. What insistent demon possesses Knight to make him treat innocent people this way? He abuses even Fischer, a certified lapdog of the first order. What's wrong with him? Why do people continue to call in to be insulted? Doesn't it occur to anyone at station WNAP that insulting listeners isn't a sound business practice? I just don't get it. I don't get it at all. (March 9, 1998) Last night I channel-surfed across a brief sports news feature on a Bob Knight press conference at the NCAA's East Regional in Wonderland, D.C. The cameras stayed on Knight for three or four questions. Each Knight answer was smart-alecky, surly, or both. The wonder is that any journalists at all show up for these things. Any self-respecting news person, confronted with Knight's presence, would get up and leave the room. Yet they keep attending, keep asking questions, and by so doing grant legitimacy to this absurd, grotesque, sour turd of a man. What's wrong with them? What's wrong with him? What terrible demon gnaws at Knight's innards and causes him to be such a flamer? (March 13, 1998) Garl's Spin: They're In Poor Condition When They Arrive IU basketball trainer Tim Garl joined genial host Chuck "The Babbler" Marlowe for the season finale Sunday of the Bob Knight Show. Between them they reached new lows of absurdity, and for this show that's something. Chuck and Tim reminisced about happier days in IU basketball. Tim said one of the big problems with IU basketball during the Recent Five-Year Unpleasantness has been the highly-touted athletes who come to Bloomington in insufficient physical condition. It's obvious, Tim said, that for many of them IU is their first exposure to weight training. Some in the audience found that a peculiar claim, since many high schools have excellent weight training facilities, the concept of such training is widely accepted throughout the country, and other teams always seem to have enough big strong chaps in uniform. Cynics wondered if perhaps the IU problem isn't just crappy recruiting instead. Chuck never challenged Tim's assertions, though, so heretics are left floundering in still another deep mystery. Once Coach comes back on the show he'll clear all this up for us. (March 22, 1998) A high school senior from Alabama, Kei Madison, has announced he'll be joining the Indiana University basketball program. Madison, a 6-8, 200-pound "small forward," told eager reporters he was academically qualified, but within 24 hours his coach, Charles Dickinson, said he was not. The following day it was announced that Madison would be going to prep school, where, it may be devoutly wished, he will quietly disappear. Indiana won the recruiting battle for the lad's services over such big-time programs as Alabama-Birmingham, and unidentified junior colleges in Florida, Alabama, and Texas. The next day it was reported in the Star that Madison was indeed academically ineligible. Somebody tell the kid and the brilliantly sleuthing IU coaching staff, please. He's probably already penciled in as a starter. (April 9, 1998) Meanwhile, Oscar Robertson, one of basketball's all-time greats, was interviewed in the Indianapolis Star to promote his new book. Staff writer Marc Allen got around to asking Robertson what he thought about the Most Recent Unpleasantness Involving Indiana Coach Bob Knight, in which the irascible Mentor was given three technical fouls, ejected from the game, and later fined $10,000 by the NCAA. Robertson's view of it was dim. "I don't blame Bobby Knight for any of that," he said. "You know who I blame? The college president. If he sees a student do something like that, what would he do? So obviously, he's letting Bobby Knight get away with that." Well, yes, Oscar, he certainly is. Pat Hired Pat Knight's long, determined march to the head basketball coaching job at Indiana University continues. Pat, son of the legendary Mentor, Bob Knight, has taken a coaching position in Columbus, Ohio, with the Columbus Cagerz of the U.S. Basketball League. Who among seasoned IU and Bob Knight watchers would bet money that this is but a prelude to young Pat getting an assistant's job at IU under his dad, then inheriting the throne after a few years' seasoning? Preposterous, you say? Never underestimate The Mentor's power to have His way, nor the perversity of His many lackeys--Myles, Clarence, Chuck, Gregg, Norm, the board of trustees and all the rest of the Kool-Aid Crowd schmoozing and clucking out on the veranda, juleps in hand, feet up on the railing as a gorgeous sunset bathes them in the golden glow of smug self-satisfaction and denial. This--the Coronation of Pat--would be the crowning touch, the ultimate coup for them all. Keep a close watch, friends. (May 1, 1998) Let's Offer That Man An Assistant's Job At Indiana University! Eastern New Mexico University's men's basketball coach, Earl Diddle (no kidding), resigned last week after being accused of grabbing a player's crotch. (May 10, 1998) Pat Fired Pat Knight, legendary son of Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight, has been fired as coach of the Columbus (Ohio) Cagerz of the United States Basketball league. Young Patrick came to the Cagers after a season as coach of the Wisconsin Blast of the International Basketball Assn. At Columbus, his team had a 4-7 record. Don't be surprised if Pat is offered a suddenly available assistant's position at Indiana. A few years of grooming there and Pat will be ready to succeed his father. Pat Hired The Father's Day issue of the Indianapolis Star carried the news that Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight--The Mentor--has hired his son, Patrick, as an assistant coach. Joy erupted in full cry among the Grape Kool-Aid Crowd across Hoosierland. The move is the latest in a brilliant counter-offensive by the elder Knight against the destroyers, negativists, and traitors who have been increasingly critical of Knight in recent years and who even were so bold as to boo young Knight when he played at Indiana in the early 1990s. Father and son both expressed bitterness at the criticism, and it was well known that Coach had nursed a festering, bilious anger at what he regarded as traitorous fans who turned against Him and his basketball program. Bringing back his son Patrick, who clearly is qualified only because of patrimony, is a brilliant stroke of vindictiveness against the enemy. Being able to again rub a son in their faces --after torturing IU fans for five years by giving his utterly unqualified son a scholarship as a player--has to be the finest Father's Day present this sick, tortured, ugly, arrogant mess of a human being could ever receive. Thus is completed Phase I of Knight's grand scheme. Phase II is projected to take three to five years and will culminate in the coronation of Patrick Knight to replace his father as head basketball coach at IU. All Hail Coach! All Hail Pat! All Hail the New Millenium! (June 21, 1998) IU's new assistant basketball coach Pat Knight, The Mentor's Son, wasted no time hitting the recruiting trail hard by calling Faruk Mujezinovic, a 6-8 Bosnian playing high school basketball in Jasper, Indiana, and the brother of recently graduated IU player, Haris Mujezinovic. The Indianapolis Star quoted Faruk saying he's "still undecided (whether) to go to a small school or a mid-major." This tells us far more than we want to know, but confirms what we know, anyway, about IU basketball, namely that (1) IU is continuing to recruit at a talent level far below what it needs to be competitive nationally or even in the Big Ten, and (2) Faruk apparently regards IU as no better than a "mid-major" school and questions his own ability to play even at that level. He's right on both counts. (July 9, 1998) (Post-Script: Young Mujezinovic later accepted a scholarship offer at the University of Evansville.) Tough Choice: Slick Or Coach? A co-conspirator recently asked me: Who do you dislike the most--Bob Knight or Bill Clinton? I thought for a moment, then told him my loathing for them is about equal. Knight is a world-class asshole, Clinton a world-class scumbag. Knight is, from all available evidence, a man of his word. Slick's word is worthless. Slick is sleazy; Knight is not. Knight is said to be loyal to his friends. Slick willingly sacrifices his friends whenever it's convenient. Knight has a mean, ugly, vicious side frequently on display. Clinton rarely displays even a hint of these qualities. Both are cunning, masters at manipulating people and situations to their benefit. Knight at least knows what he believes in. Slick Willie believes in whatever the polls tell him is the hot-button of the moment. Slick has no inner core, no guiding principles; Knight does. Knight's asshole-ness, however, is of such titanic proportions that for me it outweighs all his good qualities. Clinton has few discernible good qualities. It's a toss-up. Indiana University announcer Don Fischer described a mistake by the IU football team in its game with Kentucky Saturday as "one little faux pas." But poor Don pronounced it "fooo pah." (September 20, 1998) Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight offered some ideas about how to clean up college recruiting during a late October pre-season Big Ten meeting. He wants coaches restricted to evaluating athletes only in the student's high school gym under the supervision of the high school coach, or in regularly scheduled games. No more scouting or schmoozing at summer camps, AAU games and the like. Behind Knight's noble-sounding advice, though, are unpleasant facts: Knight hates recruiting and has done a mediocre job at it in recent years. What he proposes would hamper aggressive coaches who work hard at recruiting, by bringing them back to Knight's level. (November 11, 1998) Incredible Shrinking Cagers The plague of shrinking IU basketball players continues. Last spring it was announced that Lynn Washington, a 6-8 junior college transfer from California, was coming to Indiana. By late summer rumors were floating that Washington was "more Charlie Miller's size," or even a little bit bigger, around 6-7, in other words. When Indiana's first pre-season exhibition was shown on television it was obvious Washington was not 6-8. More like 6-5, I thought at the time. During the TV broadcast of the second pre-season game, broadcaster Ted Kitchel said Washington looked about 6-5 to him. So far we have a net loss on Washington of three inches. But an Indianapolis Star article November 6 by Terry Hutchens described Washington as a "6-7 JC transfer. . ." There are several other shrinkers on the current IU roster. Jarrad Odle was 6-9 in high school, but now is 6-8. Center Kirk Haston was 6-11 in high school and is now 6-10. Mike Lewis, a sophomore guard and 6-3 in high school, is now between 6-0 and 6-1. And so it continues. Where is the national board of standards college basketball needs to stop this nonsense? (November 11, 1998) Chuck Marlowe is reported to have conspiratorially confided to a breakfast guest earlier in November that "Bobby" says this year's IU basketball team is different from those of the last four or five years--this one is "mentally tough." Chuck assured his guest that "Bobby has decided to personally handle recruiting from now on" and that as a result IU is now starting to get "some of the best players in the country." Chuck cited George Leach, the 6-11 center (who'll no doubt be 6-8 or so when he reports to Bloomington) from Blowfly, North Carolina, as an example. "Everyone was after this boy," Chuck is said to have said. My extensive reading on IU recruiting, however, never uncovered any mention of North Carolina, Duke, Kansas, UCLA, Kentucky, Michigan, or Arizona--to name a handful of top-rank programs--ever chasing Leach. My guess is Chuck's hallucinating again. (November 22, 1998) During the December 20 broadcast of the IU-San Francisco basketball game, broadcaster Ted Kitchel noted that San Francisco forward Terrence Moore was listed at 6-7 and 250 pounds. "The 250 pounds looks right," Kitch noted, "but he looks more like 6-4 or 6-5 to me." Is this a clue that other schools suffer from the Incredible Shrinking Player syndrome, too? Back to top
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