Indiana University Sports

• An Internet message reveals that Lou Moore, the 6-7 IU juco transfer who left the team three games into the season, has enrolled at the University of Oklahoma.(January 15, 1996)

• Former IU basketballer Jay Edwards has been traded by the Fort Wayne Fury to the Connecticut Pride of the Continental Basketball Association. Edwards was averaging 17.8 points a game, but had scored only 17 points in the last seven games, according to an Indianapolis Star sports brief.

• Surfed across a bit of the Purdue-Michigan game last night and the camera was panning down the Purdue bench looking for assistant coach Frank Kendrick, who was being praised by the ESPN broadcaster for something. . .it dawned on me, when Frank appeared onscreen, that IU does not have a black assistant coach and hasn't since Joby Wright left. Sources deep within the bowels of the program allege that The Mentor has offered such a slot to Jim Thomas, Bob Wilkerson, Scott May, Mike Woodson and Keith Smart in recent centuries, and all have declined. Wonder why? And wonder why we don't have one, particularly in this day and age of heightened racial sensitivity in society and on campuses?

A Red-Hot Poker And A Vise For Todd--Hey, It's Just Coach Being Coach!

• Coach was asked at a press conference following the IU-Penn State game, in which center Todd Lindeman played uncommonly well, what the coaching staff had done to motivate the lad. Coach's reply, which within hours was broadcast all across this great land of ours, was to the effect that Coach put Lindeman's testicles in a vise and squeezed, jammed a red hot poker up his ass, poured water down his throat, and told him as soon as he played better Coach would stop doing all that. A few cranks complained, as they always seem to, about the unseemliness of a grown man, a role model, talking this way in public. The local press pursued the story only after national TV made it impossible to ignore. Cries of protest were heard on local radio sports talk shows. One fella named "Marv" called WNDE-1260-AM about 5:40 p.m. on Feb. 19 to tell host Tim Bragg he (Marv) couldn't understand why a "person of Knight's stature would talk like that in public" and added that "It's just beyond me why the school doesn't do anything about it." Down in Bloomington, The Mentor's putative bosses, athletic director Clarence Doninger and university president Myles Brand both dove into the bunker deep beneath the campus where school officials hide out during tough times like these. No one was available for comment, though their rapid breathing could be faintly heard from the deep recesses of their limestone grotto. Like T-cells, Coach's defenders swarmed over the critics, buzzing angrily about "negativity" and telling us that "Oh, that's just Coach," deflecting, changing the subject, and chanting the mantra about the cleanliness and integrity of the program, the magnificent graduation rate and three NCAA championship banners, and the countless nice things Coach does for which he gets no credit. (February 20, 1996)

Did Don Clear This With Coach?

• IU broadcaster Don Fischer was a guest on WNDE-1260 AM's Sports Talk show February 22 and said Kentucky had more talent--"two teams deep"--than any team he'd seen this year. He claimed that Big Ten basketball was down this year, was down last year and that college basketball was "the worst it's been in 20 years." I wonder if he cleared that statement with Coach?

• "I really like last year's class. I feel it's going to be a class that's alive." --Indiana University football coach Peewilly Lockjaw, describing his fall, 1995 group of recruits, quoted in Inside Indiana's February 17, 1996 edition.

Analyzing The Mantra

• The Indianapolis Star's IU beat writer, Mark Montieth, has done what journalists ought to do every day with every story: he's actually submitted the day's mantra to factual analysis. What he discovered was interesting. First the mantra, legendary throughout college basketball: "If you give (IU) Coach Bob Knight a week to prepare for an opponent he won't lose (or almost never does)." Now the facts: The Mentor is 87-29 (.750) in games for which he had at least five days of practice to prepare, nearly identical to his overall record of 572-195 (.746). In Big Ten games only, his record is actually worse when he has added preparation time--32-16 (.666) versus 312-121 (.720) overall. How could we ever have gotten so confused about this? Or are we missing something, failing to understand some subtlety in the received wisdom? Is there a flaw in Montieth's analysis? One of the big foundations ought to research this. The real truth, I'm betting, will be found in the letters to the editor page of upcoming issues of Inside Indiana. (February 25, 1996)

See Ya At The Whaling Wall

• Skip Myslenski, the Chicago Tribune's college basketball writer, in an article on the IU-Purdue game in the Feb. 26 edition, wrote that for the entire game the two teams "wailed on each other like a pair of wild-eyed heavyweights. . ." It's enough to make you want to stop by the whaling wall next time you're in Jerusalem. (February 26, 1996)

• Let's Hope So Department: "Word is, Indiana football coach Bill Mallory has one year to resurrect the Hoosiers' sagging football program. . ." --Fred Mitchell, writing in his "Odds & Ins" column, Chicago Tribune, February 28, 1996.

Best Rumor This Week

• From the insidious Internet comes word that Indiana's new assistant football coach, Kit Cartwright (just hired from the University of Michigan), has been involved in meetings with players during which plans to "turn the offense upside down" have been revealed. Rumor has it that offensive coordinator George Belu, the architect of IU's tailback-off-left-tackle-over-and-over-and-over-again-until-we-all-are-dead schemes of recent years, has not been present for the meetings. Hope springs eternal.

• The latest issue of Inside Indiana (March 9, 1996) contains 11 letters to the Editor, most in defense of the program and The Mentor or attacking those who criticize any IU icon. Three of the letters use the phrase "fair weather" to describe critics. Four of them use the phrase "real IU fans" or "true IU fans" in describing themselves and their spiritual kin. Another calls critics "misguided" IU fans. I sense in the columns of Inside Indiana a growing movement toward some sort of loyalty check or shibboleth, whereby one's credentials or "colors" must be checked and shown at the door. I hear a mantra evolving. The smell of grape Kool-Aid wafts off these pages, too. (March 9, 1996)

• The Peoria Journal Star and Inside Indiana reported the week of March 11-15 that Indiana has recruited 6-1 guard A. J. Guyton from Peoria. The Indianapolis Star and other local media have not yet reported this story. They're probably waiting to get it from an approved source.

• IU's 64-51 opening round NCAA tournament loss to Boston College nicely sums up another laughably inept season for our beloved Hoosiers. It was IU's fourth first-round elimination in the last nine years, and second straight. Assistant Coach Norm (Covenant House) Ellenberger's post-game radio comments with Max and Don were revealing. He said that we may look back upon this as "a pretty good year" even though it was an awful one. Perhaps he meant "pretty good" for the talent we had. I could buy that. Asked what we had to do to fix the problem, Covenant House said "part of the answer is to get some new blood in here." Well, yes. Barring dramatic changes, IU may be worse next year than this. Broadcaster Don Fischer announced that IU has recruited A. J. Guyton from Peoria, and the Indianapolis Star also covered the story in Saturday morning's edition (March 16). It's a relief to have it over.

If Coach Had Done This. . .

• Careful readers of Sunday's Indianapolis Star coverage of the Purdue-Georgia game were rewarded when they arrived at the seventh paragraph of a nine-paragraph "Purdue Notebook" piece by staff writer Mark Abrogi. There he wrote, "After graciously answering all media questions in the postgame interviews, (Purdue Coach Gene) Keady had a brief blowup in the (Purdue) locker room. He was angered by an apparent comment by one of his players to a television station that the team should have used the fast break more. Following the explosion, Keady chased out the media." The story itself was tucked away on page 7. Is there anyone alive who'd not believe that had The Mentor been involved in this little "explosion" it would have been supernova class front-page news all over the United States? Yet Ambrogi and the Star chose to make little or nothing of it. Guess we're not supposed to notice. (March 17, 1996)

• Many held their breaths as IU's season ground to a close with an insipid first round loss to Boston College, wondering if Coach would become involved in another of his world-famous tantrums at the tournament site. All accounts indicate not a hint of a snit occurred, that Coach's post-game remarks were surprisingly civil. Coach's defenders charge that he never gets credit for all the nice things he does, so let's give credit where it's due here. All hail The Mentor!

• What we need to do now is bury this stinking, pathetic shambles of a basketball team (right beside the stinking, pathetic football team) and get on with the pathetic, stinking shambles of our lives. Next season will come soon enough.

Hey! Is That A Hyena Peekin' In Our Tent?

• The tone and tenor of comments on the Hoosiers Internet list have certainly changed since Indiana's embarrassing first-round defeat. My mailbox has brimmed with wailing and lamentation. People are saying this team was mediocre, that it didn't get any better, that it made the same bone-grindingly dumb mistakes at the end as it made at the beginning of the season. They're saying the team needs better guard play, better center play, better outside shooting, better inside play, better defenders, better rebounders, more quickness, more tenacity, more toughness, more "athleticism" (code for: talent), better decision-making. They're saying next year's roster doesn't offer much prospect of things getting better anytime soon. They're saying we've got to recruit better players, and fast! Yet those who throughout the season jumped on "negativity"--the merest suggestion of these deficiencies----like starving hyenas on a spring lamb are remarkably silent. It's as if reality has finally peeked under the tent and its ugly face has been at last acknowledged by those huddling in denial inside. This is just speculation, of course. And I could be wrong about this. (March 20, 1996)

• No sooner do we get one stinking abomination (IU's basketball team) buried than another rises: IU's football team opens spring practice Monday the 25th. Head Coach Peewilly Lockjaw, fresh from 1995's 2-9 nightmare season, assured Indianapolis Star readers this morning that he "plans no major adjustments." Well, we wouldn't want any adjustments, anyway. Let's just keep doing the same old thing over and over and over and over and over again until we all are dead. (March 23, 1996)

• One of Indiana's incoming basketball recruits, Michael Lewis of Jasper, offered a revealing quote late in March when interviewed on WNDE-1260 AM's Sports Daily talk show. Lewis, whose height has been reported in various print media over the last 12 months as 6-4, 6-3, 6-2, and 6-1, told the show's host Tim Bragg that he (Lewis) was "about 6-1." That probably means somewhere between 5-9 and six feet and a fraction. We seem to be getting closer to the truth with Michael, who is another compelling argument for creation of a new federal bureau to officially certify heights and weights of all college and professional athletes.

Chummin' Along, Singin' A Song. . .

• Field testing is complete. The research is in. It can now be announced that a new word has been successfully injected into and has taken root in chatroom dialogue: Grape Kool-Aider, a noun, and an offshoot, Grape Kool-Aid Crowd (usually preceded by the article "the," or the phrase "a member of the. . ."). This was one of my major--though unannounced--goals when I signed up for the "Hoosiers" Internet group late last summer. I began with occasional casual insertions of these terms into my own messages and replies to list members, chumming in these exceptionally bounteous waters, thoroughly confident someone would rise to the bait. In a few weeks, one did. "What does that mean?" came the cautious question from a member using the screen name of "Newsdirctr," who works at a television station in Iowa. So I offered that first, admittedly crude definition. "The term," I replied, "derives from the famed 'Jonestown Massacre' (which was really a mass suicide) in 1978. The Rev. Jim Jones--who, in a rather beautiful bit of irony, was a native-born Hoosier--had taken a flock of over 900 followers to Guyana and set up camp there. One day, apparently convinced that the apocalypse was near, The Reverend filled a vat with grape-flavored Kool-Aid heavily laced with cyanide and commanded his acolytes to drink deeply. They did, and more than 900 of them died alongside the Reverend himself in the South American jungle camp. Bob Knight's worshippers exhibit the same blind, fanatic obeisance today in ferociously defending his every outrage against even the slightest criticism. Thus they--Coach's unquestioning faithful--became in my mind, the 'Grape Kool-Aid Crowd.' The term means anyone who blindly follows another." By mid-November I increased the number of insertions. Others, new to the list, inquired as to its meaning. I promptly responded. By mid-December, others were using the term in their own messages. Some, for example, would deny that they were a "Grape Kool-Aider" at the beginning of a comment defending The Mentor. Others proudly confirmed they were "Kool-Aiders." One or two appended the notation "Not a Grape Kool-Aider" at the end of their messages. By Christmas, a dozen or more such uses had been confirmed. Confirmed sightings continued into January, February, March. People new to the list still occasionally ask for a definition. I no longer need to provide it; others step forward to offer help. I believe my work is complete. Documentation has been sent to the major dictionary publishers. I'm hard-pressed to think of a single accomplishment in my life that's been more satisfying. (March 28, 1996)

• The Gang of Four huddled at Denny's Restaurant on North Michigan Road Sunday, March 24. IU sports analysis dominated the agenda. Various "inside sources" were heard from. After two-and-a-half hours the restaurant manager gently asked if we could either move to the counter or to a smaller booth, since quite a crowd was waiting in the lobby while we whiled away the morning on free coffee refills. Ever gracious, we immediately left. "Well, boys," I said, "We've taken this to a new level today." Site rotation may be necessary. The Gang of Four is increasingly recognizable on this stretch of road. The sight of even one of us coming through the door sends staff screaming out the back door into the foggy morning. On the other hand, the medical and psychiatric evaluations on The Bogtrot Slasher, a true IU fan, are positive. It is believed he's nearly ready to be taken off medication and should be able to function independently without 24-hour surveillance.

• Bob Greene penned a column in the Chicago Tribune this month about the death of former Ohio State fullback and 1950 Heisman Trophy winner, Vic Janowicz, that rang an old bell for me. Wasn't Janowicz the back who scored the famous (to IU fans) "phantom touchdown" in a late 1940s or early 1950s game against Indiana? I recall seeing films of the play. The back--Janowicz or whomever--diving into the middle, the officials signaling touchdown, the end line camera later showing he didn't get in. This was just one of many signposts along Indiana's path to eternal damnation. (April 2, 1996)

The Stuff of Legend

• "I don't even care to talk about it. That baby is flushed. I don't think about it. It was a situation that didn't work, and we're right back at it and thinking positive." --Indiana University football coach Bill "Peewilly Lockjaw" Mallory, on last year's disastrous 2-9 football season, quoted from spring football practice by Stan Sutton of the Louisville Courier Journal.

Mystery Shrouds Blockbuster Price For Keady Item

• A renowned Midwestern proctologist attending an April 24 American Heart Association fund-raiser in Indianapolis reports a mysterious phenomenon. During a silent auction of sports memorabilia a basketball autographed by Purdue basketball coach Gene Keady sold for more than twice as much as one autographed by Indiana Coach Bob Knight. Did Purdue plant a ringer in the crowd to purposefully jack up the bid price on the Keady item? A thing like this may have happened in West Lafayette--Boilermaker Country--but our correspondent believes it surely never has happened in Indianapolis. Is this an omen, a sign? (April 25, 1996)

Out-Migration Continues

• Indiana University basketball has lost another player. . .guard Chris Rowles has "vanished," according to an article in the June/July issue of Inside Indiana. No one associated with the university or the team will comment, but the newspaper says Rowles stopped going to informal practices with teammates in May and has since disappeared from Bloomington. Rowles was an afterthought recruit picked up a year ago from a junior college in Illinois, another of the second-tier mediocrities who've littered the roster especially in the past three or so years.

• IU Trivia Department: Former IU guard Keith Smart, who hit the game-winning shot in the 1987 NCAA final game against Syracuse, is joining the Fort Wayne Fury of the Continental Basketball Association, where he will team up with another former IU guard, Damon Bailey. . .and Lloy Ball, a Fort Wayne High School volleyball player who turned down an offered IU basketball scholarship a few years ago, has surfaced on the American Olympic men's volleyball team competing in Atlanta..

Getting Cranked, Getting Glued. . .

• Our beloved Hoosiers were featured August 21 in the Chicago Tribune's unapproved pre-season football reports. Writer Joseph Tybor clearly drank no grape Kool-Aid before sitting down to tap out his synopsis. "The biggest question around here (Bloomington)," he wrote, "is whether he (Peewilly Lockjaw) will be around". . .next season. "Unlike (basketball coach Bob) Knight, Mallory may not have the luxury of choice when it comes to retirement. His Hoosiers were pathetic last season. . .(and) worse, preseason pundits say they could duplicate that ignominy this year, even be worse. . .". Tybor noted mordantly that "by the end of the season the empty seats in Memorial Stadium glistened like fool's gold in the late autumn sun. In the season finale against in-state rival Purdue,only 34,029 fans filled the 52,354-seat stadium." Tybor got athletic director Clarence (Bill Mallory Will Be Coaching Here As Long As He Wants To) Doninger to acknowledge that he is feeling the heat over Lockjaw. Doninger counseled wisdom, patience and the long view in contemplating Lockjaw. Lockjaw himself said that "this old boy is cranked" and added that he'd had good training from former Ohio State Coach Woody Hayes. "Woody was a good teacher in how to deal with and handle pressure," Lockjaw said, adding that he "always thought Woody had a calloused eye, didn't have rabbit ears, and had an elephant's skin." (Sounds like something that'll be onstage at the Democratic National Convention, doesn't it?). Lockjaw told the Tribune that touted freshman quarterback Earl Haniford was really "glued in" and had a great attitude as well. Vic Malinovsky, president of the Bloomington Varsity Club (which last Nov. 8 was sternly lectured by The Mentor about criticizing Lockjaw's performance), was quoted saying "I think there are no surprises here. Bill's under the gun. Last year was really, really tough in terms of fan support. So, I think this is the year." We would surely feel better about ourselves if the Tribune would takes its insidious negativity and just go away. But I fear it will never stop tormenting us. Knowing that, what can we do but strap it on, get on the old elephant skin, ear muffs, rabbit ears, calloused eyes and ammo bandoliers, flush last year, get cranked, lock our jaws, get glued in, have a good feel for things and, as The Mentor once wisely said, sit (or lie) back and enjoy it? (August 22, 1996)

Voting With Their Wallets

• For the Record. . .31,584 fans attended Indiana University's football home opener against Mid-American Conference foe Miami of Ohio. This after the university gave students some 10,000 free tickets in an effort to jack up sagging attendance. The empty seats represent millions in lost revenue over a season. The athletic administration mightily resists acknowledging the obvious and doggedly continues to raise ticket prices, circle the wagons, sip mint juleps, and tell the world that all is wonderful out on the Varsity Club veranda where--after all--everyone has a deep tan, an IU blazer, Gucci loafers, and straight white teeth (but a crooked smile). Economic reality has penetrated most nooks and crannies of American life, and "value" is a cocktail party mantra hummed everywhere but in the bunkers of Bloomington. If there is hope for change in IU's football fortunes it lies in the crushing economic realities which are not going to go away no matter how much Clarence and The Sunnysiders tell us and themselves that everything's peachy. It isn't. The only way people can vote on it is with their wallets. About 20,000 of them per game are doing so. (September 16, 1996).

• Former Indiana University basketball guard Chris Rowles has enrolled at another school but the IU athletic department still had not acknowledged Rowles' departure as of the publication date of the September, 1996 issue of Inside Indiana. Word is out that walk-on Luke Jiminez has been given Rowles's scholarship, but the athletic department won't comment on that either.

• Inside Indiana editor Rick Notter speculates that "around 20-thousand" persons actually paid for their tickets to Indiana's home football opener against Miami of Ohio last Saturday. The officially announced attendance of 31,584 included thousands of students and others who got in free.

• Indianapolis radio stations are airing an ad promoting "the glory of IU football." This is a joke, whether or not IU knows it.

• With the junior high school-level preseason competition out of the way, IU football fans can see things clearer now. The mask was dropped in a 35-17 loss in the Big Ten season opener against Northwestern, the team with the next-worst record in conference football history. IU is worst. The all-too-familiar stench of incompetence and ineptitude rose from this one. . .in the first quarter there was IU right cornerback Eric Allen racing down the sideline defending against a long pass, never once looking back to find the football, the Northwestern tight end catching a ball that Allen could easily have knocked down or intercepted if only he'd turned around. . .there's Joe King of IU defending another sideline pass with under 1:00 to play in the first half, running stride for stride with the Northwestern receiver, never looking back to find the ball, even when the receiver has to slow down and wait to catch the underthrown pass, the football floating right past King's head, an easy interception if he only turns around (the ESPN announcer noted that this was "very poor technique" for a defensive back). . .there's IU tailback Alex Smith slipping when he tries to make a cut, slipping in the first quarter, the second, the third, the fourth; there's tight end Darrin Ward slipping and falling flat on his back on a pass play, allowing the Northwestern defender an easy interception, and broadcaster Don Fischer expressing puzzlement that our beloved boys don't "seem to have very good footing out there" (question: were our boys wearing cleated shoes, or smooth-soled tennis shoes?--the Northwestern players weren't slipping). . .there's IU missing tackles right and left on a 50-yard touchdown run by Northwestern's Darnell Autry, and IU's Joey Eloms carelessly carrying and fumbling the ball on a kickoff return. . .there's the dopey ESPN broadcaster saying that Bill Manolopoulos is IU's "reliable field goal kicker" while an on-screen graphic showed Manolopoulos had converted only two of five attempts this year and missed two of two in last week's bonegrinding loss to one of the worst teams in NCAA Division 1 (Kentucky). . .there's an ESPN camera shot showing fans streaming out of Memorial Stadium with 13 minutes to play in the game. . .and Don Fischer saying, after a stupid and crucial IU fourth quarter penalty for roughing the Northwestern punter, "You can just feel the air leaving Memorial Stadium" and his sidekick Max Skirvin adding, "--as well as fans.". . .and there's Don Fischer acknowledging that IU's performance in its first three (nonconference) games created "a false sense of security" about the team's talent-level. . .and assistant coach Andy Kincannon saying in post-game comments that IU's defenders "felt pretty good about themselves" at some point in the game, though that feeling must have disappeared as the game unraveled in the second half. In short, this is the same atrocity of a team we watched all last year, back to torture and torment us in 1996. Saturday's attendance, padded by thousands of students with free tickets, was listed at 36,714. (September 28, 1996)

• Hampton University and Florida A&M University played a football game--the Circle City Classic--October 5 in the Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis. Both universities are a great distance from Indianapolis, making it difficult for significant numbers of their own fans to come to the game. Attendance was 62,037. Meantime, 50 miles south of Indianapolis, Indiana University can't get even 40,000 people to travel insignificant distances to buy tickets to its games.

Hayden's Got Clarence Honked

• Iowa football coach Hayden Fry has ruffled delicate sensibilities at Indiana University. Fry was quoted in Iowa newspapers complaining about abusive fan behavior directed at his Hawkeyes by Indiana University fans in Bloomington. He mentioned foul language and items thrown from the stands at Iowa coaches and players. He said several of his players also were hurt on Indiana's artificial turf. He pointed out that IU has a 53,000-seat stadium and draws crowds of 33,000-35,000, and said he doesn't understand why they treat at least his visiting team that way. Nothing he said can be challenged as untrue with the possible exception of the fan abuse, and I presume that could be validated with some modest research effort. Indiana's athletic director, one of Bob Knight's best friends and once The Mentor's personal attorney, Clarence Doninger, lashed out angrily October 9 at Fry and, as is typical of IU supporters and athletic administrators these days, attacked the messenger and ignored the reality. ". . .I don't understand," said Doninger, unwittingly. "Since I've been here (1991) we've never had a report of anything unusual." He then contradicted himself by admitting that "the exception is that one time there were snowballs thrown at a Michigan State game." Doninger took offense at Fry's comments about IU attendance. "How would he know?" Doninger asked. "The last two times Iowa came here (in 1992 and 1993) we had 40,000 and close to 44,000. So where does he get 33,000?" That's easy: by looking at IU attendance figures. Indiana has had numerous crowds in the past two years in the 30,000-35,000 range, averaged 34,296 last year and is averaging 34,139 this year to date. Nothing complicated about this, though apparently it is easier for Fry in darkest Iowa to obtain IU football attendance figures than it is for Doninger. Doninger then tore into the press, suggesting it was somehow contributing to poor attendance. "I have recited 10 to 20 reasons why that (poor attendance) might have happened and yet the press keeps talking about (poor attendance). Why? It's had a negative impact." The Indianapolis Star's newest Indiana beat writer, Curt Cavin, quoted IU ticket manager Bill King saying a crowd "in the mid-30s" is expected for Indiana's home game Saturday against the dastardly Hawkeyes. Between 5,000 and 10,000 of those will be students who get in free this year under a new program aimed at boosting--of all things--sagging attendance.

He's Right, It Isn't; It's a Terrible Team

• "Whenever losses mount, there's pressure. The three losses. . we could have won all three. As I look back, two were ours to win. . .This is not a bad football team." --Indiana University athletic director Clarence Doninger quoted in the Indianapolis Star October 10, 1996, a couple of days before the fourth loss and a succession of weeks before the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth. (October 11,1996)

• Attendance for the IU-Iowa Homecoming game was listed a 37,154, proving beyond a doubt that Hayden Fry doesn't know what he's talking about and that Clarence Doninger was right all along. All hail Clarence! (October 12, 1996)

• IU's homecoming debacle against Iowa featured three penalties in the first 4:30 against Indiana, three Iowa sacks of IU quarterback Chris Dittoe in IU's first six plays, and several other major bonehead screwups by Indiana as the game descended into normalcy. IU fans were leaving the stadium with 8:00 to be played in the third quarter. With 10 minutes to play in the fourth period thousands of empty seats pocked the east stands, and a steady stream of cars and fans poured out of the parking lots. Iowa isn't at all a powerhouse team but easily became the eighth consecutive Big Ten opponent to score at least 30 points against Indiana, which was said earlier this fall to have the best defense it's had in Peewilly Lockjaw's 13-year tenure in Bloomington. Lockjaw's comment to the press afterward was that IU "started off shaky and never got into a rhythm." Well, at least it wasn't the elephant skin, the rabbit ears or the calloused eyes this time.

• If Peewilly Lockjaw has any insight at all he'll do the right thing and announce, just before the Vomit Bucket game with Purdue, that he's resigning immediately after the season ends. That will get athletic director Clarence Doninger, who's been unable to face the truth for years, off the hook and spare both Lockjaw and Hoosier fans the ugliness of a firing.

• Attendance at IU's home game against nationally-ranked Penn State was 37,354. If only the media would quit writing about this, attendance would improve. (October 22, 1996)

Mallory Fired

• Indiana University football coach Bill Mallory was fired today. Numerologists will want to dig into this. IU has a 13-game Big Ten losing streak. Lockjaw has coached at IU 13 years. The date of the firing, the 31st, is the reverse of 13. Something spooky here. Lockjaw, we are told, was offered a chance to "resign" but declined. He is said to have told athletic director Clarence Doninger that he was no quitter and that, quite the contrary, he felt he should be given an extra year or two on his contract, based on what he's done for the program. A teary press conference was held. Doninger's statements were appropriately vague. Many were surprised by the timing--with three games still to be played. Doninger said the university didn't want to subject Lockjaw to the many rumors that were floating about. He publicly conceded the economic reality of free-falling attendance figures, and admitted that Indiana has "lost Indianapolis," its major market for fan support. It seemed obvious that Doninger didn't want to fire the coach. We are left to deduce that powerful pressures forced him to. Lockjaw was red-eyed, visibly shaken at the press conference. Many hearts justifiably ached for this good and decent man. At age 61 he won't have many other job offers. The university has promised a comfortable administrative sinecure to carry Mallory out to retirement. The university now again has a window of opportunity to make a major commitment to a winning football program. Its choice of a new coach will reveal how serious it is. If it's some second-tier mediocrity--and the names of several have already been touted as possible replacements--we'll know nothing has changed, and the second century of football horror will continue. (October 31, 1996)

Cameron Hired

• Our beloved Hoosiers have a new football coach, Malcolm "Cam" Cameron. He has The Mentor's approval, according to press reports, and a seven-year contract at 125 grand annually. He's young and energetic. His quarterbacking background provides hope his approach to the game will appeal to potential recruits, and could mean IU will actually develop a passing game to balance its tailback-up-the-middle-over-and-over-and-over-and-over-again-until-we-all-are-dead game plan of the Lockjaw era. Those at his introductory press conference reported he speaks fluently. He has impressive assistant coaching credentials from the University of Michigan and the Washington Redskins of the NFL. Given the built-in limitations afflicting IU's athletic department decision-makers, Cameron is an encouraging choice. Another window of opportunity opens in the 110-year history of IU football. Dare we hope? (December 1, 1996)

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